Conspiracies in my town

THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

We Must Stop This Immediately!

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is further away?

Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognise me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. All I can say is their brakes must wear out awfully fast , the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning:
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.


PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were. !!!!

you got fat and didnt notice and it was harder to walk as far as you used to

cars used to not go as fast as they do now

kids whisper now because of bad parenting they are afraid of the world or that some won will hit them again mostly the world

you might have turned up the resalution on your computer that makes every thing smaller for some reason

you have to move and exersize you cant just sit there and expect to get stronger how often do you go for a walk or better yet how many times a day do you think pouring you self into a chair and or laying there watching tv move more

Win

reply to post by obzerver


*facepalm*
Please tell me you didn't take this so serious that you're trying to give actual advice? I would hope so, but it's not an overly humorous post so either you need to work on your comedy or you need to learn to read between the lines. If the OP was serious, I don't think any amount of "advice" would stick. You might have better luck in the cat herding business...

To the OP, as one of the younger people who seems much younger... well, we're hoarding the secret to eternal youth, it's just that eternal immaturity ends up being one of the side effects. Oh well, I can think of worse than annoying the elderly.