posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 01:18 AM
Do you have experiences with depression? Do you have stories about friends? I am no stranger to it, and I am going to share some some thoughts of my
own. I bring this up because of the following note I wrote to myself today. I made the note to remember how I feel right now, so now I am making it
a post. Here goes:
I have just remembered who I was. I know that statement sounds weird, but I have been dealing with so much # the last few years. I was so very lost
in madness. Today something clicked back on.
By clicked I mean, I looked around and thought “What the hell am I doing and how did I get here?” I’m not in a bad place mind you. Everything
just seemed foreign all of a sudden. I remember how I got here and my actions that led me to this point, but I was on autopilot-it simply didn’t
matter at the time. I had no thoughts, appreciation, or ambition for anything for three years. Then I got a big mental bitch slap.
It is such a weird uplifting feeling. I have crawled out of a well of depression and to my surprise, I found myself standing there and giving me a
hand when the last few feet seemed impossible. I haven’t been living for about 3 years. I think I can finally come to terms with everything and be
the person I was again.
It makes me so sad to remember who I was, yet so happy to know I can still be that person again. Either thought could make me cry. It is an amazing
feeling. I want to start living again.
I was alive but I was not living. I spent 3 years in a daze. I wish I could have been there.
I am not sad about where I am now or who I am with. I am only sad that I made these decisions on autopilot. I am sad because I haven’t appreciated
it. Today I started to appreciate things again. That is the most wonderful feeling in the world. It is time to make up for lost time
Here is to the future, cheers.
edit on 8-9-2011 by adraves because: (no reason given)