I am sad :(

I am sad because of one girl.... we were together for 3 months, she used me and threw me away like a garbage. I tried to forget her, deleted all text messages, cancelled contact with her, and everything. I actually managed to forget about her, and lived normally. But today I started missing her very much again, even after what she did to me. We had good times together and that is what I miss about her very much...
I am currently in my room, alone in my apartment, with a bottle of wine beside me. I am thinking about sending her a message that I miss her, but I do not know if that is a good idea. What should I do?

Go for it. Perhaps she is thinking of you as well.
What have you got to lose? The worst that can happen is that she says never to call her again.

reply to post by Farnhold


Such is the nature of life, people come and people go. The special ones always leave a mark in your heart but sometimes you have to accept that, unfortunately, everything comes to an end eventually, I'd say yes go ahead and text her as long as your prepared for the possibility she will tell you exactly where to go and you'll then end up even sadder probably with another bottle of wine...

It's worth a shot but I tend to always expect the worse, that way anything less and your never disappointed.

Cheer up

reply to post by Farnhold

3 months is nothing, think positive.
Become active in something else other than ATS (no offense).
Take your mind off of things.
Find someone else who makes you find happy.
Women are everywhere.

reply to post by Farnhold


First off..I'm sorry you have experienced sorrow over the loss of love..or what you perceived as love.

First question is..was she sorry for what she did?..if not..sounds like you're just setting yourself up for another heartbreak.

It easy to remember the good times..and especially when you are lonely. You may miss her..and those good times..but is it worth having your heart broken again..to let her know that?

I don't know enough of the details to give you any advice..but I can say this...love yourself..and listen to your heart.

I wish you all the best...


P.S If she used you once..and treated you like garbage..I seriously doubt things will change. Hang on to your self dignity..and don't let her get away with that again..

reply to post by Farnhold


Have a Hug...squeeze...

It sounds like you need one.

"Plenty more fish in the sea" comes to mind

Listen, I don't know the situation but if she used you and threw you away like garbage, you deserve better.

You could send her a text but don't get your hopes up ... I've fell for that before, got all my hopes up for no reason and had to deal with all the pain again. Not worth it. Best thing I can say is to move on and find someone else who will truly love you for who you are

Sorry OP. Hope you feel better.

In my experience people tend to repeat the same relationship patterns over and over...people react differently for different reasons...but I will tell you this: I would never in a million years go crawling and groveling back to somebody who I felt had "used me and thrown me away" as you put it. If she did it a first time, her disdain would only be magnified the second time, and it would be another repeat of the same story only probably even more dramatic and painful. Go find yourself a nice girl, there are plenty out there. Good luck.

Sorry you got hurt.
What's your side of the story? There are always three sides huh? Your side, her side, the truth.
Anway... people don't change.
Suck it up and forget about her. Distract yourself with something else (or someone else).

reply to post by Farnhold


"she used me and threw me away like garbage" is the reason to not text her. move on.

ever go to the sea shore?

it's wonderful. the fresh air, the water, the sand. and as you walk along the beach you see pretty shells and stones. you might pick one up to take home. and you keep walking, then you see a even nicer shell. so you toss the first one and pick that one up. the more you walk, the further along you go, you will find better and better seashells, each one prettier than the next.

life is that way. you go through life, something pretty comes along. sometimes it cuts you and tosses you aside. so you pick yourself up and move on.

of course, the choice is yours. me, i would not go back to a shell that cut me and hurt me and tossed me aside. i would keep on walking and find a prettier shell to enjoy.

reply to post by Farnhold


Do not listen to the first two posters please, calling her would be a mistake if she used you. I know its hard to stop thinking of her but just move on. Do things that will make you feel better about your self, workout, look for a better job, hell go back to school if you can. Most likely she doesn't think very highly of you if she could just use you so get your balls back. Nothing urks a women more then when they leaves and the guy she used to date now has his life together and is getting attention from other girls.

Warning if she gets a chance to screw it up for you she will she will come back only to leave you again. Do this!!!! Work hard and put your money into self improvement, get your hair cut, buy some new clothing, whiten your teeth, workout 3 days a week or more, save up for a new car or apartment, build your confidence back up. When you see her "DO NOT ACT HURT" be strong. Stop talking about it with your friends because they talk so put on the happy face and act like nothing is wrong. I give a month before she has to drop in and see why your not crushed. She will tell you that she is sorry and it was wrong blah blah blah. Look her straight in the eyes and say i accept your apology but i could never trust you again. Ps make her visit short and sweet if you can find a hot girl and befriend her and have her come over during your talk "with the ex" do it. this will burn your ex sick and she will come after you full force even if she is dating another guy. Her attention with you will spur her friends interest in you so start talking to her friends.

Originally posted by Skada
Go for it. Perhaps she is thinking of you as well.
What have you got to lose? The worst that can happen is that she says never to call her again.

the worst that can happen is these two develop a dysfunctional relationship filled with words and actions that leave lingering pains and scars. or an unwanted pregnancy occurs and the female resents the child and the male is saddled with financial responsibilities for many years to come. or they pursue a relationship where there is already a display of immature behavior and hurt that eventually results in physical assault and someone doing jail time.

if you try to pet your neighbors dog and it bites you, would you go back next week and try to pet your neighbors dog again?

Originally posted by pcrobotwolf
reply to post by Farnhold

 

Do not listen to the first two posters please, calling her would be a mistake if she used you. I know its hard to stop thinking of her but just move on. Do things that will make you feel better about your self, workout, look for a better job, hell go back to school if you can. Most likely she doesn't think very highly of you if she could just use you so get your balls back. Nothing urks a women more then when they leaves and the guy she used to date now has his life together and is getting attention from other girls.

Warning if she gets a chance to screw it up for you she will she will come back only to leave you again. Do this!!!! Work hard and put your money into self improvement, get your hair cut, buy some new clothing, whiten your teeth, workout 3 days a week or more, save up for a new car or apartment, build your confidence back up. When you see her "DO NOT ACT HURT" be strong. Stop talking about it with your friends because they talk so put on the happy face and act like nothing is wrong. I give a month before she has to drop in and see why your not crushed. She will tell you that she is sorry and it was wrong blah blah blah. Look her straight in the eyes and say i accept your apology but i could never trust you again. Ps make her visit short and sweet if you can find a hot girl and befriend her and have her come over during your talk "with the ex" do it. this will burn your ex sick and she will come after you full force even if she is dating another guy. Her attention with you will spur her friends interest in you so start talking to her friends.

Farnhold: pcrobotwolf is giving you the kind of advice a best friend would give you. pcrobotwolf i applaud you for telling it straight up. you're a good man to give a damn; i applaud you.

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


Hang on a minute buddy, I said specifically that if the OP is prepared to be rejected again then why not? People do change you know, you might find that hard to believe but it's the truth.

reply to post by Farnhold


Three months isn't a whole lot of time.... Yet still enough to hurt you pretty bad it seems. Why do you think any renewed contact with her would end any other way?

Man, grab your balls back, and head off for greener pastures.

Sorry to be so blunt about it, but she'd probably just be giggling about what a mess she's still making of you, if she really did treat you so poorly, and in so short of a time.

Man up and move on is my advice... I think you already even know this, but just need to hear someone else say it... YOU know what kind of a person she is...so why lie to yourself?

I hope it's not too late to strongly advise you not to make any sort of contact with this girl, especially if you have been drinking.

Please, for your own sake, hold yourself back and get on with your life.

Remember, you have to sober up tomorrow and you don't want to wake up with regrets.

Even if she welcomed contact and agreed to meet you again, why would you want her?

One very true thing in this life is that it's better to be miserable by yourself than be with another person and allow them to make you miserable. Take that from an expert.

Once you've got through the misery, you can learn to be happy by yourself. After that, you might achieve the best thing of all - being happy with another person.

But, you have to get to the happy by yourself stage first

reply to post by Farnhold


3 months is still the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship... a difficult time to let go.
If you had been together 6 months, you might have been the one to dump her instead!

Often it's better to decide how to let go, rather than how to hang on.

reply to post by Death_Kron


Change takes years not days. Im not trying to knock your advice but telling him to call her is a bad idea. How do i know? Well i have been in his shoes its sucks but the advice i gave him is really the only advice he can use which is better yourself and more on. Fool me once = bad on you fool me twice = bad on me. she fooled him once but he doesnt need to let it happen again

Ps thank you large fries didn't expect someone besides the poster to agree with me

reply to post by Farnhold


Hello friend,

She used you, threw you away like garbage and hurt you.

Chances are, she'll do it again. Time to move on. Turn the page while being sure of one thing:

You deserve better than that !!

reply to post by Farnhold


My friend, only you know your heart... only you know the full situation. You have different perspectives on advice in this thread. Read them all carefully and reflect on it all collectively for a few days, then see what your heart AND analytical mind says.

Please trust me on this: If you make the intent to move on, eventually time does heal all wounds.

I will send you energy and intention for Peace, emotional healing, comfort, and uplifting. Feel the sunlight on your skin today, I will use the Sun as the intermediary to magnify the energy. Take care.