posted on Aug, 10 2011 @ 04:06 PM
... another mind-numbing reality show? Probably not and neither would I.
But what if this show was not the typical run-of-the-mill concept where unknown wanna-be's warble off-key covers of "I've Had the Time of My Life"
while juggling fire batons or where psuedo-celebrities trip the light fantastic to the top prize?
What if this new show was named CAPITOL PUNISHMENT? A la Schwarznegger's 1987 The Running Man film where society's worse criminals run a frightful
guantlet for their very lives, this new series combines the best elements from other reality shows and will be presented in a pay-per-view format so
no one's outraged sense of relativistic morality is unjustly infringed. Rather than John Doe vs. Joe Citizen, featured contestants will be star
players and headliners whom we've all grown to know and "ahem" love. We could tune in to what could arguably be the best entertainment since the
days of the Roman Colosseum.
Oooooh, I can almost feel the suspense as we sit glued to the edge of our seats to see whether Nancy Pelosi will reach across party lines to Lindsey
Graham before the unraveling tightrope she's on above a pit of hungry crocodiles gives way. Will Reid and Boehner's wall of rhetoric shield them
from the sting of killer bees?
The anticipation of finding out whether Soros or Murdoch will triumph in the barefoot race over flaming newscopy while being pelted with exploding
Will Wu and Weiner be able to stave off the advances of a herd of amorous rhinos in the throes of peak mating season? Can Obama continue to walk on
water in that Olympic pool as it writhes with piranha?
Envision cage matches where the combatants club one another with spiked copies of the 2000 page healthcare plan, and Wall Street CEOs in chum suits
dive for treasure in shark filled tanks. Extra special events could include foreign champs such as Kim Jong-il or Bashad al-Assad.
The next day water cooler gossip would be epic. "Did you see Rumsfeld and Cheney take out Geithner and Bernake with the shoe thrown at Bush?"
Suggestions for upcoming matches can be made by dialing -1-GIT-THEM-ALL.
(For those who wish to flame or troll, before expending those creative energies, this thread is meant in levity and is as likely a solution to effect
change in today's societal, ecomonic and political climates as the next round of sanctioned elections.)