Morbid Obesity and Being Stuck to a Couch

This story is really sad because the lady died, but how does someone become so obese that they just stay on a couch for two years?
The couch and the lady's tissue had become almost one. Disgusting.
Read here:
www.nbc5.com...

Makes me wonder why the condition was allowed to get so bad, and why no one sought help for her. Can you imagine how awful that poor woman's life must have become?

I would say there was something wrong with all parties involved. I mean, it's obvious the woman was on the couch for so long her skin literally became emeshed with the fabric of the couch.

People knew this situation exisited because someone obviously had to bring her food, drinks.

First off, I can't imagine a concious, functioning adult sitting on a couch for years without getting up, by choice.

Second off, I cannot imagine marinating in my own excrement for any length of time, much less years.

I guess the keywords are: concious, functioning adult and choice.

Apparently, this woman's were impaired and someone should have taken control of the situation and gotten this woman some help before this situation resulted in her death.

(The way I understood her death, she died while the doctors were trying to surgically remove her skin from the couch).

I have a feeling if she, say, had to have a job instead of getting a check every month ("Grinds got by on Social Security checks while suffering from life-threatening obesity. ", info) she may have not gotten to the point.

Yes sad indeed.

I too wonder how someone becomes so overweight. I mean, I've put on my share of extra pounds, but I noticed it right away and tried to do something about it.

What happens in someone's life that they get so out of control that they can't even leave thier home or get off of the couch or bed ?

Here's an article:

www.palmbeachpost.com...

According to this article, her sister states:

"There is one thing that kept my sister on that couch � fear," Kendricks said. "She had been in such pain when she broke her leg that she was too afraid it would happen again."


(Sure, ok, she was so "afraid of rebreaking her leg" she couldn't get up to shower or use the toilet, prefering to sit in her own excrement?- this is what I mean. Impaired or dysfunctional reasoning).

The article further states:

And sister Vivian Kendricks said she did visit Grinds once in a while, washing her on her couch and cooking for her. She didn't remember the last time she saw Grinds and said nothing seemed to be wrong with her lifestyle.

(Sure thing, lady, we all have family members stuck to furniture sitting in their own excrement)

"I know she started feeling real bad two weeks ago," Kendricks said. "But she had asthma. My sister was hard-headed. She just wouldn't get off that couch."

(Kind of hard to "get up off that couch" when you've "become" that couch).

This whole situation is horrible.


[edit on 18-8-2004 by mako0956]

good let her die. why do we have to look out for everyone else. whtever happened to personal responsibility? dont tell me "oh that poor woman" she knew what she was doing. she had a choise in life and she made it. its like my dad used to tell me. he'd say. "you make your bed now sleep in it" this woman was on the governments teet for so long, now shes paid the price...oh well one more fat disgusting freak that we dont have to look at and "feel soory" for....good riddance as far as im concerned

sublime wrote

good let her die. why do we have to look out for everyone else. whtever happened to personal responsibility? dont tell me "oh that poor woman" she knew what she was doing. she had a choise in life and she made it. its like my dad used to tell me. he'd say. "you make your bed now sleep in it" this woman was on the governments teet for so long, now shes paid the price...oh well one more fat disgusting freak that we dont have to look at and "feel soory" for....good riddance as far as im concerned

This woman must have had severe mental problems. No normal person would lie on a couch and refuse to get up. You'd better pray sublime that mental illness doesn't run in *YOUR* family. Who know's when it could strike.

I don't think anyone will be in trouble for neglect though. Evidently no guardianship papers were signed to protect her.

This woman must have had severe mental problems

you think? so do pychopathic murderers...point?

No normal person would lie on a couch and refuse to get up

ummm i do all the time....

You'd better pray sublime that mental illness doesn't run in *YOUR* family. Who know's when it could strike.

whos family isnt mentally ill?

Originally posted by elevatedone
Yes sad indeed.

I too wonder how someone becomes so overweight. I mean, I've put on my share of extra pounds, but I noticed it right away and tried to do something about it.

What happens in someone's life that they get so out of control that they can't even leave thier home or get off of the couch or bed ?

Do not even TRY to understand someone elses pain...They make their own prison for fear or pain of the outside world...someone very dear to me died this way and I dont think anyone here knows what they are talking about unless they actually knew a person such as this.

Believe me when I say,, most likely, at some point, someone tries to help them..usually many (I am not talking about this particular story of the woman on the couch because I dont know her).

These people can barely breathe, let alone get up.

Their only joy is food.

At this point they cannot help themselves, and usually die when someone else tries to...The internal struggle is too great, and the fear is unimaginable.

A hospital is the last place this person wants to be

Generally their family is at a complete loss, not knowing where to turn, because they see the pain and fear in the persons face when you mention doctor or hospital.

In my friends case he had been to the hospital and doctor here or theere with great effort and begging... He died when he tried to help himself, and itwas too late.

They dont want anyone to get near them, to know what is on them or under them...how frigging scared would you be? I would be. Just to move a leg causes extreme fatigue

You cant compare you losing a few pounds to vanity or comfort to someone gaining 400 from lonliness guilt or a psychiatric disorder.

Im not directing this towards anyone or this particular post so dont jump at me with any quotes from the story. I am telling from experience because I think most people go thru life never knowing someone like this and it s just some insight.

Everyone in the neighborhood had to come out to watch his 2nd floor get cut open and the crane take his body out...that attention is what he spent 5 years trying to avoid.

Originally posted by sublime4372
good let her die. why do we have to look out for everyone else. whtever happened to personal responsibility? dont tell me "oh that poor woman" she knew what she was doing. she had a choise in life and she made it. its like my dad used to tell me. he'd say. "you make your bed now sleep in it" this woman was on the governments teet for so long, now shes paid the price...oh well one more fat disgusting freak that we dont have to look at and "feel soory" for....good riddance as far as im concerned

These are the cases that welfare and medicare were kept for after our economy healed. .. Not filthy parasites who rape the system. NOT Perfectly mentally physically healthy young people who watch tv all day while I work to support their 8 children. AND not illigal immigrants allowed to attend public school by law....oh and NOT drug addicts or thieves.

If the government ONLY supported those who actually NEEDED support, I would be living large instead of trying to make up 1/2 my paycheck with 2nd job!

Im not against good riddance either ...I wouldnt mind executing 3 x convicts

I read about this earlier today, and it hit me pretty hard. Obesity was really the woman's only problem. If she weren't obese, the leg injury may never have happened, or would not have been nearly as severe.

The thing that killed me was the last couple of years of her life, and then the last couple of months. To me it is sad that someone with such potential ended up dying the way she did. No one deserves to die that way.

-P

P.S.
Yes, I know there are thousands in other parts of the world that die as well, but still. This one really got to me for some reason.

I could easily understand your point of view if I thought there was a chance the woman in the story was mentally competent, but I just can't see how she could have been.

I don't usually lecture or preach, I believe in letting people act like jerks if that's what they choose. But the most important thing I have learned since I became an adult is the true value of compassion, which you obviously don't understand. Someone should have gotten that woman help, long before it became so bad. Someone, in my opinion, is criminally liable here, and ethically liable as well. Maybe you've never had to step outside of your own little world to see how others live.

look- this woman didnt wake up one morning and decide to weld herself to the couch. this took time. and a looong time. dont give me the boohoos of mental illness...blah blah blah.... i lost my mother when i was 15, i was sexually abused by my brother as a kid, havent spoken with my family in a few years, my daughters mom up and moved in the middle of the night and i havent seen them in 2 years, so dont tell me that life is soo unbearable that this woman couldnt do something about it. no i wont feel sorry for her. life sucks and it screws alot of people over thats just the way it is. you have to learn to deal with it.

You need to get that anger out of your own life and stop taking it out on other people. And don't say you aren't, you're taking the very serious crap going on in your own life and using it as an excuse for being unnecessarily aggressive and cold towards people you don't even know.
And yes, lots of us have been through abuse and tragedy, but some of us learn NOT to externalize that pain and inflict it on others.

You need to get that anger out of your own life and stop taking it out on other people. And don't say you aren't, you're taking the very serious crap going on in your own life and using it as an excuse for being unnecessarily aggressive and cold towards people you don't even know.

ok #1- shes dead

#2- i have a wife and 2 kids that i love very much, spend all my time with.

#3- you reap what you sow..

my point is this: quit making excuses. everyone has bad things happen to them. noone is exempt. youve got to deal with it. and if you dont want to, then, ...oh well....you gotta live life looking forward, never backwards

Weight gain is like any other addiction... for some people it's a case of noting it and dealing with it immediately, like they would change a dead light bulb. For others it's something psychological and either needs to be addressed through some kind of counseling or they must experience something in life which "flips the switch" internally and makes them do what's necessary to change their situation. Like smoking, for instance. I had a friend who tried and tried to quit but just couldn't. She had a baby and had cut down a lot, but still couldn't kick it. Then one night she woke up with heart palpitations, just really racing. It scared her because she thought about dying and not seeing her child grow up. She quit and hasn't smoked again. It took that fear of death to make her able to reach WAY down for it. Another woman I know had gained so much after her husband's death that she sat on a public toilet at her office building and crashed through the floor. Rescue people had to get her out. She pulled oxygen around behind her on a little cart and had to use two canes. The toilet incident turned the tide for her and she's now lost over 200 lbs in about 18 months, no surgery, no crazy diets. It took this awful, humiliating experience to flip her switch and she's doing great with it.

For this woman, the broken leg could have been that event. Unfortunately it wasn't, and she went to the other extreme. She needed help, that's for sure. But what help would she get from convicts, druggies and alcoholics? Nothing, obviously. And once you're far enough down, you just can't climb back up and out on your own. It's a sad end to a person's life.

And Mainer has a point. Having a job, a regular schedule taking her out of the house and a paycheck that she earned from a job well done might have kept her functional and prevented this horrible decline. I think a lot of welfare recipients fall into a cycle of low self-esteem and don't even know it.

[edit on 19-8-2004 by torque]

well that much i agree with. it is a sad end to someones life, but ultimatly, the decision was hers to make. and again, this took some time. the blame is soley on the woman for her demise. noone else..

This woman must have had severe mental problems.

That is the key. While she should have sought treatment herself, it was likewise a failing of her family and friends for not being sure that she received treatment then...

I would think that the first time you had to bathe someone while they were sitting on the couch...would have been your first clue!

Personally, morbid obesity is a subject that hits home, not for me, but my wife. She had the surgery last year, and lost over 180 lbs! She's happier, healthier, and dead sexy if I might add, hehe... But, surgery wasn't a simple way out. It's a tool...that's all. It still involved massive change to both our diets (as I didn't keep junk in the house), and lifestyle. Not to mention, she had complications that kept her (and me, as I stayed with her, and slept in a cot in the private room) in the hospital for a month. Even still though, she'd do it again in a heartbeat...and she looks and feels great.

what??? someone took RESPONSIBILTY for their actions??? amazing...way to go gazrok...best of luck to the both of you. way to set an example.