Forty years my father.

It was raining when they buried him in 1969. It was raining when I first visited his grave in 1999. I put my officer's bars on his tombstone; and the rain hid my tears. I miss you father.

Sorry for your loss. I know it never goes away completely.

reply to post by mydarkpassenger

Aww man, condolences, and may you find a way to celebrate the time he was with you, and cherish the memories created and shared.

Peaceful reflections to you,
spec

I'm sorry for your loss. My mother died when I was very young. (Don't know if you were young, but that's the impression I get)

Doesn't it always seem like it rains when funerals are held? Every funeral I've ever been to it has been raining.

It has been said that when a good person dies it rains ..
Sorry for your loss Carry on as your Dad would want you to do ..

Thank you for your service to this great country !

No matter how many years go by the void never seems to be filled when you lose a loved one.

Stay strong my friend.

Grieving parents seems to be a theme today. NO - you never get over it. I thought of it today as I rode back from the beach. The loss of my mom. It seems to come up with a will of its own and it happened some 30 years ago. On Facebook just yesterday I posted the Cold Play song, Fix You. It is about not being able to "fix" the one you Love. There is a verse about losing something you cannot replace, it tears me up.

That is what we mourn really, what we cannot replace - the missing space created by that loss - as we reach and pass life's milestones.

I feel your pain OP.

It's hard losing someone close; time does not always heal ever wound. You all's comments make me sure I am in damned good company. Thanks ladies and gents.

Originally posted by mydarkpassenger
It was raining when they buried him in 1969. It was raining when I first visited his grave in 1999. I put my officer's bars on his tombstone; and the rain hid my tears. I miss you father.

Beautiful....that is all....beautiful.

This is probably a bad time to mention this but I can't remember a better opening paragraph for a book than your opening post in this thread. Have you ever considered fleshing out the story?

Originally posted by kinglizard
This is probably a bad time to mention this but I can't remember a better opening paragraph for a book than your opening post in this thread. Have you ever considered fleshing out the story?

at least not that good time.

No real bad time. He died in front of me. I was seven and alone with him in the house. He was trying to fix the TV so I could see the moon landing; he was dead before he hit the floor. Call me crazy; I still feel him and speak with him.

I think he is proud of me. Officers rank, and a degree in what was sci-fy in his days. I would give anything for five minutes to speak with him.

Originally posted by mydarkpassenger
I think he is proud of me. Officers rank, and a degree in what was sci-fy in his days. I would give anything for five minutes to speak with him.

Open yourself and ask. Set intention. Pray. Meditate.
Send intention that you need to see/speak to him - and he may visit your dreams.
I am not being trite - I lost my own mother at 14. I have asked for guidance at times, and it has come.
My mother doesn't seem to visit often - perhaps because she experienced a near death a few years before she passed and she has truely crossed over.
You are missing/needing/wanting your father for a reason, perhaps you feel there is something you need from him to allow yourself to move on. Are you a father yourself? Is fatherhood impending, have you denied yourself?

I am retired military myself. I know we don't think in woo-woo ways in that box. You picked a technical career/degree so you are operating in a very structured way - and yet you share here from your emotional side, your heart, your child heart, your wounded heart. I KNOW how hard it is to bring balance to the thinking/feeling part of ourselves.

I encourage you to open yourself to healing - it seems to me you are seeking a sense of at least peace about this loss. How terribly frightening to have been so young, such a profound memory - fixing the tv for the moon landing . . .

One suggested you write - I encourage that also if for nothing else then to journal your personal feelings in a safe place, to go through the motions of bleeding some of this pain on paper. It has helped me.
I really do understand and feel your pain.

Originally posted by mydarkpassenger
I think he is proud of me. Officers rank, and a degree in what was sci-fy in his days. I would give anything for five minutes to speak with him.

I am certain he would be pround of you. NO DOUBT!!!
Perhaps in your times of pain you are connecting to him? Perhaps what you feel those acute twangs "that you can never get over the loss" it is in fact his shadow happily following you and glowing with pride over his boy? I sometimes feel that I have felt my mother's pride over my accomplishments - I especially felt her presence when I gave birth to my son. I know she flutters still around her grandson, at least in my imagination - and those thoughts warm me.

Originally posted by mydarkpassenger
It was raining when they buried him in 1969. It was raining when I first visited his grave in 1999. I put my officer's bars on his tombstone; and the rain hid my tears. I miss you father.

My Father was a veteran....I had his funeral outside in a beautiful setting....lots of grass and trees and a lake....he loved the water and fishing....I had the American flag covering his casket. This was several years ago....and I miss him daily.....I know how you feel...I love my Daddy too.