Man Takes Viagra, Wears Sweatpants for TSA Pat Down

This is a fake news story from a satire website.

Funny but not real

Ahaha awesome story! Good start to my morning! Thanks!

Aw just read some of the posts and it ended up being a fake lol. Too bad. Still so funny though

Originally posted by Skerrako

Man Takes Viagra, Wears Sweatpants for TSA Pat Down

thewashingtonfancy.com

“I’m next,” Warren Kelvin, 34, screamed as he pushed to the front of the security line. According to TSA officials, Kelvin had ingested two Viagra and wore sweatpants without boxers for his Southwest flight from Nashville to Phoenix.

(visit the link for the full news article)

Absolutely... EPIC!

I'm extremely disappointed about lack of video, this guy needs to write for SNL. This is MUCH better then their other recent skits

reply to post by Skerrako


I know this is kinda off-topic for your post, it does relate to the TSA and in my opinion an epic fail -


[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/6e4440ec4e95.jpg[/atsimg]


And they call us paranoid!

Allbright, a 14-year veteran of airport security, announced his retirement shortly after Kelvin boarded the plane. “I’m going home to take a shower and make love to my wife,” said Allbright as he got into his car. “This job isn’t for me. I’ve suddenly lost my passion for touching strangers.”

Damn right! I think the TSA agent also felt violated just for being part of the invasive screening. I wouldn't want to see someone's raging boner either.

The man who took the viagra should be applauded for taking one for the team to really show how normal citizens are disgusted how they have been molested each time going through the screening process.

reply to post by Skywatcher2011


Yup exactly right - talk about a horrible job desciption.

Makes you wonder how many of the more recent applicants are attracted to the job just so they can touch up people.... yuck!

I'd be outta there in a heartbeat. It would be interesting to see the TSA employee turnover % since the new laws were enacted.




Then we have the hottest selling T's at all US airport shopping lounges

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/6337da0189c3.jpg[/atsimg]


Also - forget te iconic i heart NY t-shirts, introducing the hottest selling item of 2010/11:

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/9585d133d40c.jpg[/atsimg]

Folks This Is Fake News from a Fake News Website

Please read before being outraged, the other new stories of that webpage are,

"Cantor Rejects Obama’s Offer of First Born Daughter Malia in Exchange for Higher Debt Limit"

"Boehner and Cantor Agree to Couples Counseling After Debt Talk Breakdown"


Do you folks believe anything in print?

Yeah well, it's fake. But funny none the less!

"Because you just have to stand up for your rights"

reply to post by coolhanddan


Yeah obviously a fake story, the OP may have taken it to seriously although it could just be moved to the off-topic: Jokes, Punns & Pranks Forum.


Although at the same time the overly paranoid beviour and searches of the TSA and then intern the government, is a serious issue - that subject and part of the debate has been covered in many other forums on ATS though.

+infinity to the first guy to actually do this and upload it on youtube. I feel this approach has alot of potential. I'm tempted myself...

SO funny i wish i never realized it was real.
The really runny thing about this though is that its acutally not against the law to walk around with an erection as long as you have clothes on and aren't waving it around. I wonder if there is a law against it when your in a airport? I hope someone does this and gets videotaped.

reply to post by spoonbender

I gotta try that one day lol

It is a good, sarcastic, humorous piece of fiction.

reply to post by Skerrako


Ha hahahahahahahaha hahahahaha pfffff oh my!!

reply to post by Skerrako





Let's not forget the best of them all. Make sure you eat lots of really nasty stuff and then drink a quart or so of carbonated water a couple of hours before getting groped. If we all did that TSA would be gone in two weeks. Now I ask you. Can farting possibly be called "assault on a TSA agent"?

reply to post by trailertrash


I think you'd be called a biological terrorist hahahahaha

FREE HEALTH CARE

If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport –
you'll get a free x-ray and a breast exam,
and if you mention Al Qaeda,
you'll get a free colonoscopy.

Ah thats a shame, I had a feeling it was fake coz of the responses from the TSA workers, as if they would do anything they didnt want to and even let a guy get back in the que. They would just say move on sir or get him removed for some reason that isnt at all justified. I hope someone attempts something like this soon though, make them feel unfomfortable for once.

When I went to Austria to play a gig at a festival out of my whole band I was the one who got searched everytime, I got this cheeky looking young lady and when she opened my bag 3 foreign filthy porn dvd'sthat the guys had stuffed in my bag at the hotel fell out, as well as my condoms! I wasnt phased as we are always doing this stuff winding each other up on holiday and just smiled and asked her not to mind that. She put them back in and didnt even bother conducting a search at all after I had been selected! They dont mind us feeling uncomfortable, but they certainly wont at all put up with it for the sake of 'making us safe'.

OP reminded me of this vid.