Willpower of the soul and mind ((Confessions from a shattered mind included on the subject))

To some I may seem fragile, weak and able to break. To some I may seem like glass hard and unable to shake. You look through me and you think you see, that it is easy to will your problems away. You and you think oh happiness yes happiness is the way I will stay. But despite this you try and be positive, you try and be the bigger man. But you do not understand that it isn't that easy when your soul screams from the pain. So you look and you wonder at lifes problems and woes. You wonder why people cheat and lie and why they leave you when your in woe. Yet always you are there setting aside your time. Always you are there hoping for them to smile and ask and be kind. But never do they do this. Sometimes they just up and leave. Thats when your obstacle hits, and your will starts to kick in. Everyday it kicks in, without you even realising it.... but my god what a fragile thing will is and can be.

Writing this now I am thinking about what I am going to do with my futures self will. It isn't easy to make a negative positive, but it is easy to make a positive negative. I've decided to use will to make myself into a positive and to see how the outcome of my day plays out. For most this would probably seem easy but for me it shall be the hardest thing I ever do. I'm tired of my negatives overiding the positive influence I try to give other people. I'm tired of obstacles getting in my way and my spiritual guardians are tired / angry of me always going crazy. I'm tired of putting the man whom I love above all others in the entire universe into the situation of fixing my problems when he already has problems of his own and on top of that is already in a relationship. ((I'm single right now but there is such a thing as loving and supporting and being understanding of another persons happiness. No we aren't in a relationship etc. and we probably never will be but it matters not to me as long as he is happy. Now back to the topic at hand.))

I'm tired and sick of myself. I'm tired of wondering if every single god dang person I help is going to abandon me and forget me like all the rest did. I'm tired of trying to strive for anothers love and embrace and I'm tired of lusting. Enough is enough and I'm putting my foot down. I "WILL" be positive and I will move forward and I will become the person with whom I wish to become. I'm not going to let anymore obstacles stand in my way. I hope this small poem and my confession helps others to draw strength from it and change something within themselves for the better.