posted on Nov, 22 2004 @ 12:53 PM
Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State
Building. One turns to the other and says: "You know last
week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this
building- by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds
around the building are so intense that they carry you
around the building and back into the window." The bartender
just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.
The 2nd Man says: "What are you a nut? There is no way in
heck that could happen."
1st Man: "No it's true let me prove it to you." So he gets
up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens to the
street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind
whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor
window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.
The 2nd Man tells him: "You know I saw that with my own
eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke."
1st Man: "No, I'll prove it again" and again he jumps and
hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently
carries him around the building and into the window.
Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.
2nd Man: "Well what the heck, it works, I'll try it." So he
jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the 11th,
10th, 9th, 8th floors and hits the sidewalk with a 'splat.'
Back upstairs the Bartender turns to the other drinker:
"You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk
------Not a bar joke but-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
days.
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A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars."
The bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there."
The bartender says, "Go ahead."
So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs."
"What do mean," says the bear. "I'm not on drugs."
"Yes, you are, that was the barbituate."