Dude.....it is awesome up here!

So I'm not sure what's taking the rest of you so long to get here. The whole rapture thing went pretty quick for me.

Holy crap, the internet speeds are amazing here. Seriously, I downloaded the entire Beatles discography in like 3 seconds. No copyright laws up here. Suprisingly there's not a single member of the RIAA up here either. Oh yeah, speaking of the Beatles, John and George say hi.

Well anyway, I hope the rest of you make it up here soon. The big guy's suppose to be throwing this killer party tonight. Gonna be one of those "water into wine" kinda nights if you know what I mean.

I suppose if any of you infidels and unbelievers have any questions I'll see what I can do to get some answers for you. Word around here is it's not gonna be pretty. Like, imagine being tied to a chair and forced to listen to Lady Gaga in one ear and Justin Beiber in the other for all eternity. Now multiply that pain by 8. Yeah.....that's how bad it's gonna be.

Oh crap....I gotta run guys. This insanely hot Asian chick just walked through the gates. She looks like she could use someone to show her around. Wish me luck!

I wish.

In reality you would be Hanging out with Jerry Falwell and a whole mess of insane fundamentalists.
Singing songs to Jesus and His poppa for eternity.

Originally posted by ELahrairah
In reality you would be Hanging out with Jerry Falwell and a whole mess of insane fundamentalists.
Singing songs to Jesus and His poppa for eternity.

You know, now that you mention it, I haven't seen any of those famous, wealthy preachers from back on earth up here. Strange.

I did however just run into this homeless guy that helped me change a flat tire once. It was awesome seeing him again.

Not another one of these threads

Damn...got to love the Youtube mentality on here nowadays

Ok lolz i have a question. or a couple i should say.
1. what does god look like?
2. What famous people are there?
3. how the hell is there internet up there nad is there cable?
3. Does it feel good being naked lol?

Well this is for all the rest of us Heathens:

Is there beer & pizza?

I wish I would have made it this time...O'well, maybe I will make it on Harold's next Rapture date which is sure to come out soon...Take Care and hope to see you soon.....

Originally posted by Sorayugiman
Ok lolz i have a question. or a couple i should say.
1. what does god look like?
2. What famous people are there?
3. how the hell is there internet up there nad is there cable?
3. Does it feel good being naked lol?

1. She's really beautiful. Way out of my league though....obviously. Of course, she can take on any appearence she wants. I mean, I just got here so I'm still figuring things out, but from what I've been told so far, God appears in whatever form you need her/him to be in order for you to listen. It's all pretty complicated, but I've got all eternity to figure it out.

2. Well here are a few surprises so far.

George Carlin is here! I had a brief talk with him. He said when he first got here, God told him that he was doing his work all along and never knew it.

Charles Darwin is here. Haven't had a chance to talk to him yet.

Tupac is here. Haven't seen Biggie though.

Biggest surprise though....Elvis isn't here, not because he's in that other place, but because he's still there. Yeah, he lives in Wisconsin.

3. Seriously? I mean you can get decent WiFi at Starbucks and you don't think we'd have it in Heaven?

4. I'm not sure, I haven't been naked yet up here. I imagine it's not going to feel much different though. Actually, whatever you can imagine yourself wearing it just pops on you, it's awesome. God says she designed us to be individuals and think for ourselves not to be mindless clones.

Originally posted by Signals
Is there beer & pizza?

Well I haven't seen any pizza yet.

As for beer, of course it's here.

God says that Ben Franklin was telling the truth when he said, ""Beer is proof God loves us, and wants us to be happy."

reply to post by jnyblujns


Do you have 72 virgins?

Originally posted by Caji316
I wish I would have made it this time...O'well, maybe I will make it on Harold's next Rapture date which is sure to come out soon...Take Care and hope to see you soon.....

I have not doubt you will. From what I've put together so far, there's been a bunch of raptures. God brings a few people up every so often.

God wants to make it very clear that she's not the horrible prick she's been made out to be by her so called followers. God really does love everyone and yeah, there is a hell, but it's reserved for only a special few. God's exact words to me were, "Seriously, did you really think I was going to burn someone for all eternity just because they didn't come to a building and sing songs to me once a week? I'm really not that full of myself."

Originally posted by windwaker
reply to post by jnyblujns

 

Do you have 72 virgins?

Haven't seen any so far. But let's be honest. Who would want 72 vigins anyway? I'd be much happier with 3 girls who know what they're doing.

That's funny, the content filters here keep me from seeing anything naughty. I wish I'd paid one of those atheists to look after my dog.

Anyways I've got to go, I need to find a good pew to watch the coming smiting. Everyone's getting all excited about it.

Originally posted by Sorayugiman
Ok lolz i have a question. or a couple i should say.
1. what does god look like?
2. What famous people are there?
3. how the hell is there internet up there nad is there cable?
3. Does it feel good being naked lol?

If the Beatles were up there....why couldn't they have given him a concert hahaha XD I'm guessing it was that "Jesus" thing they said.