I know. I know. Another Rapture thread... but as the Angels say; "Fear Not!" For I have a theory on the proposed spiritual exodus proposed by Harold
Camping, and here it is:
The Rapture is totally happening today! 100%.
Its just that no one qualifies, at least not enough people as to warrant mass die offs... or float aways, or turn into lights, whatever you envision.
Personally I like the floating away image because for those of us who are going to burn in hell anyway, the "Saved
" would make for good bb gun
targets, but I digress.
Think of it like this;
Jews don't qualify because they don't believe Jesus was the Messiah, nor do they even recognize the Rapture.
Muslims don't qualify because, well.... you know.
Pagans, Wiccans, Earth worshippers, Buddhist, Hindus...... man this isn't looking good at all, but....
We have a winner! CHRISTIANS!
Afterall they came up with the whole deal, well God did
, but only the Christians
heard this, so they'll get the thunder on this
one. But wait! What is Christianity?
Christians are the people who recognize that Christ (aka J-dog) was the one and only son of God,
but what else was Jesus? He was Jewish. He was sent by his dad to come down and straighten out the 'Chosen Ones' who'd gone astray from the Word of
God. He wasn't trying to create a new
religion. He was trying to get the Jews to follow the rules of the old
one. Long story short,
the Jews aren't having it, and Jesus has to pull the Martyr card, and away he goes. His followers are left to continue his work, and so they call
themselves Christians. They're still technically Jews (they just changed the name for PR reasons, because no one wants to be compared to the people
who just killed the son of the Lawd, so...). Anywho; these Christians (aka Neo-Jews) spread out and try to get some new followers.
[This is where the "no one one qualifies" bit comes in]
As these Neo Jews spread out across the land, they're preaching what Christ taught them about the Big Guy upstairs, but those heathens aren't having
any of this nonsense. They've got naked goddesses and polygamy, they don't want to hear about this "below the knee hem-lines, and prudish women"
nonsense. So the Neo Jews decided to appease these tribal Europeans. So they invent Christmas and Easter, incorporating pagan rituals into
Neo-Jewish beliefs. But in order to do this, the Christians have to give up a few of their old Jewish high holy days.
[That's probably Left Behind worthy right there, but we'll go on, seeing how we're on a roll]
The ploy works... for people more than God, but it works. Christianity takes off like a rocket. This new super religion takes off across the world.
Yay!!! "Try this Jesus Juice, its delicous!" (I'll skip the crusades because... well you know). Anyway; Saturday is changed to Sunday, temples are
turned to Churches and Cathedrals, and somewhere along the lines, a lot of Christians begin to confuse Christ with God, which goes wayyy against one
of Judaism's Rules (and Christianity's rules for that matter). Do NOT worship ANY other gods, no idols, yada yada yada. So... out of all the people
in the world... who exactly qualifies?
That being said..... Enjoy the Rapture!
edit on 21-5-2011 by Mactire because: (no reason given)