Whole New Meaning To Mid-Life Crisis

reply to post by Greenize


Dear Greenize,

Well young lady, I am 51, my wife cheated on me, divorced me and the court gave me all the debt she created and then gave her what I earn. I am broke and have lost everything. I make lots and keep a third, I can barely afford a one bedroom apartment. I lost my five bedroom home, sold my 230 slk mercedes and the ex got to keep our BMW (paid cash for the cars). 2/3rds of money goes to her and the government. I keep what I made 20 years ago so that I can pay off the debt she created. I have a homeless person living on my couch. Guess what, I am the happiest I have ever been. I don't buy lottery tickets because I don't want to win.

A couple thousand years ago, people just like you and me lived in caves and died when they were 30. We don't have to live through that, we have air conditioning and heaters, we have cars. Poor people live better than kings did 2,000 years ago. We have toilets and plumbing and entertainment. We have it pretty good. Are things fair, nope, never have been on this earth and never will be. Think about what you have and not what you do not. Work forces us to get up and live, don't always enjoy it; but, look at those who don't work and toll it takes on them overtime. Be well.

Originally posted by Greenize
I don't mind telling you I am in my 40's. I get up go to work, come home do my chores, go to bed, get up, go to work, come home... you get my meaning. I bust my butt as I know we all do, and yet I can't afford anymore to do much else. Gas is anywhere from 3.90 to 4.20 a gallon around here and of course going to the grocery these days nearly causes a coronary. Wanna know why Americans are fat? Its cheaper to grab a burger than it is a salad! The healthier something is, the more is costs!

I am tired to the point of exhaustion.

I am angry that these oil companies reportedly raked in BILLIONS in profits in the first quarter.Just line us all up and punch us in the face why don't they! I am angry that I am paying more in the store and getting less for my hard earned money! I am angry that we go and blow other countries to pieces and then give them millions of dollars of our hard earned money, to rebuild! WTH! I am angry that people don't work, claim they can't and get free medical care, housing, education and whatever else they can get, when some of them are just as able bodied as the rest of us! If you can fish all day, you can work!

I am angry that I feel HELPLESS to do anything about any of it!

This is getting to me and I wonder how many of you are feeling weighed down by the current state of things. What are you feeling? Anger, depression, confusion, fear, a combination of emotions? Talking about it has to help, right? We are basically all on the same sinking ship are we not!

I feel everything you feel, and I'm only 24.

My brothers dad is on disability....

He's built like an Ox, works on his boats, has no physical disability, no mental disability.... he's just lazy, and somehow he convinced the judge he was not mentally fit for work....

I don't work myself ATM, gearing up to go back to college, yet.... I don't get any benefits from anyone, I don't even accept unemployment.... It would simply just feel wrong to me, knowing I'd be mooching off everyone else...

I stopped working, so I can focus and reflect on my life, and my current skill sets, and to predict where they might go...

Basically, to plan for the future.... but more and more and more I feel like I'm gonna go back to school, come out in debt and if the economy continues to get worse, there is no garauntee there will be jobs by the time I'm finished, and even if their is...

How much work am I gonna have to do, just to scrape by?

The country is very very very upset at the moment... and it seems to only be spiralling downwards... It's like, there is no respect for intelligence anymore, like -- there are more stupid people who are jaelous of the smart people, and don't like having them around.

It's like the entire population of stupid people are really caught up in the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

en.wikipedia.org...

If you are unfamiliar with the Dunning Kruger Effect...... I don't believe what you are going through is a Mid Life crisis, I think you just realized what the game was really about.... IMO.

reply to post by AQuestion


I never understood divorce rulings... as I woman and I have told my husband this many times, I would never do that to him... anyway....... I am sorry for your losses, but I am also glad that you are happy! Does that make sense? I really didn't mean to come across as ungrateful or that somehow I don't think that I have enough... I am upset with the state of the world in general...

reply to post by Laokin


See, that is what I don't get. He has convinced them he is disabled and so draws a check so he can spend his days doinng whatever he wishes and my grandma was sent an assistance check for 8 dollars... that wouldn't even cover a months worth of toilet paper! Good luck in your future and whatever you decide to do!

I feel about the same as you do anymore. I also understand that I could have it worse and that someone in my situation should be happy that I have a job, a place to live and food to eat each day. However, even considering these things I can't help but wonder why so many of us continue to live to work.

Originally posted by Greenize
reply to post by AQuestion

 

I never understood divorce rulings... as I woman and I have told my husband this many times, I would never do that to him... anyway....... I am sorry for your losses, but I am also glad that you are happy! Does that make sense? I really didn't mean to come across as ungrateful or that somehow I don't think that I have enough... I am upset with the state of the world in general...

Dear Greeize,

The law is what it is. I have found most women that I know do not agree with it (all our children are over 21). When the judge ordered me to pay for the ex's attorney, her attorney refused to accept the money, she chose not to get paid instead. What you said made sense and I am happy. We get over pain. I didn't think you seemed ungrateful, the world is messed up right now. It is okay to rant, we all need to let off some steam once and awhile. My intent was not to correct your feelings; but, to say that even when the terrible things occur, good things can come from it and we cannot always see that at the time.

When I was ready to join the workforce, we had a major recession (mid to late 70s), double digit inflation and people my age couldn't get jobs because we were at the the end of the baby boom and they had all the jobs. During my career I was very fortunate and was able to promote very high; but, most my age did not get as far. Now that the early boomers are retiring, my generation thought they would finally get their chance; but, the younger ones have skills that they did not because technology changed. While personally I did well, we are by and large an ignored generation. Not 60s kids, we missed out on that fun. The 70s were a time similar to now, uncertainty, lack of jobs and lots of tension.

Your generation (I got your age wrong, sorry) will get your chance again. Our society will desperately need you and jobs will be plentiful because once the majority of the boomers have retired, there won't be enough people to fill the jobs and you will get to command better salaries than my generation ever could. Your generation will run this place and your children will ask you why it isn't perfect. Hard times help us to grow. My divorce helped me to grow and helped my ex. She returned to school and got her license to be a nurse. I had tried to get her to do that for twenty years; but, it was too easy to just do what she liked. She was speaker for the students at graduation (and no, I did not attend and don't talk to her more than I must). I did however congradulate her.

As for having stuff, best thing that ever happened to me was getting rid of it all. I never wanted it and found it to be a burden. If I wished I could take up some offers that have been made to me, do some consulting and make even more than I ever did before. I don't want the stuff back and I don't want new stuff. Been there and done that. I have come to believe that I had too much success monetarily and that it was bad for my daughtes and ex. They didn't learn how hard it was to acquire it and to respect our stewardship of it.

Be upset with the state of the world, it is upsetting. Think about what could be done better; but, remember it is not the people, it is the process. Be part of defining your generation as you define yourself, always have hope and enjoy your time when it does come. Be well.

Originally posted by Greenize
I don't mind telling you I am in my 40's. I get up go to work, come home do my chores, go to bed, get up, go to work, come home... you get my meaning. I bust my butt as I know we all do, and yet I can't afford anymore to do much else. Gas is anywhere from 3.90 to 4.20 a gallon around here and of course going to the grocery these days nearly causes a coronary. Wanna know why Americans are fat? Its cheaper to grab a burger than it is a salad! The healthier something is, the more is costs!

I am tired to the point of exhaustion.

I am angry that these oil companies reportedly raked in BILLIONS in profits in the first quarter.Just line us all up and punch us in the face why don't they! I am angry that I am paying more in the store and getting less for my hard earned money! I am angry that we go and blow other countries to pieces and then give them millions of dollars of our hard earned money, to rebuild! WTH! I am angry that people don't work, claim they can't and get free medical care, housing, education and whatever else they can get, when some of them are just as able bodied as the rest of us! If you can fish all day, you can work!

I am angry that I feel HELPLESS to do anything about any of it!

This is getting to me and I wonder how many of you are feeling weighed down by the current state of things. What are you feeling? Anger, depression, confusion, fear, a combination of emotions? Talking about it has to help, right? We are basically all on the same sinking ship are we not!

Amen! I hear you. I'm another 40 something out there. Yes, I'm angry. I'm depressed. I'm exhausted and a lot of the time I feel helpless to change it. I work to pay bills, pay for gas, pay for groceries, pay for insurances and not much else .

Some days I hop in my car and just want to go. The worst part about it is DH and I own and operate our own company. I know it sounds like a dream, but it's not all its cracked up to be and it was never MY dream. You don't own your own company. It owns you. You have to take the work when it comes, and work some crazy hours. So you don't have time to take a break. When things are slow, which they were for a few years (DH and I are at the tail end of digging out of a 3 year hole), you and your husband just stare at each other wondering what went wrong and how are you going to appease the creditors. So stressed and no money to take a break. Yes, I did try to get another job and or a part time job during that time to no avail. Working with your husband (darling husband when things are good. DH stands for something else at other times) is trying. You wind up talking about work all the time. It doesn't work to say "Ok, when we're home we won't talk about work." It doesn't happen.

The profits that the big pharma, gas & oil and health insurance companies make is deplorable. Every year they have record profits. In the meantime it's getting harder and harder for little businesses to even break even.

My stress reliever is gardening, which means that I'm stressed about that as well as work (always stressed about work one way or another). We've had rain, rain rain and before that snow snow snow. So my veggie garden is sitting there full of water.

The stress reliever - 2 shih tzu puppies (well they're a year old now). They're always happy to see you and tons of fun to play with.

So my mid life crisis is dreaming of vacation and actually having a retirement plan other than death.