Monogamy VS Polygamy

A topic of monogamy was touched upon in this thread.
This is a different/newish scientific historical perspective on sex and sexuality of humans.
Dr. Christopher Ryan: Sex at Dawn
vimeo.com...

Enjoy the interview with the doctor.

Sex at Dawn shows how far from human nature sexual monogamy really is and unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do.

Hope this helps in your journey to the above top secret.

Human beings are complex creatures. Sorry I couldn't watch the video due to a slow internet connection.

What I noticed is Polygamy seems rarer than Monogamy in humans. Is this because Monogamy more easily determines who is the father of the child and so who gets to be the father-figure for that child?

reply to post by DavinciThales


In short.
Monogamy is a result of female suppression, because of the concept of ownership and passing it down to your genetic line. Human genitals indicate that females let various sources (male friends) of sperm to compete. It was not the biggest/smartest guy in the tribe, who was privileged to have sex.

Does it make sense?

I'm not bothered. Dont really care what its the result of..I'm perfectly happy loving one person. And I can see why people choose different paths of course, but for me not only would it be difficult to love more than one person deeply, it would never be equal and thus I think there would always be an element of jealousy..

I get what youre saying though. But humans evolve...do you think monogamy is simply the next step in our evolution, or do you think its a sidestep that holds us back? I personally think it is an evolved state. one could argue the deep love of a monogamous relationship could eventually occur between multiple partners, but I think the majority of humanity isnt quite there yet.

perhaps I'm missing the original point, but thats just my opinion.

Originally posted by DavinciThales
Human beings are complex creatures. Sorry I couldn't watch the video due to a slow internet connection.

What I noticed is Polygamy seems rarer than Monogamy in humans . Is this because Monogamy more easily determines who is the father of the child and so who gets to be the father-figure for that child?

edit on 27-2-2011 by DavinciThales because: (no reason given)

I'm not even going to bother to read the entire thread. Instead I wish to point out that polygamy has always been the more common form before the invention of monotheistic practices and their view of marriage and how it should be in the eyes of it's mythical deity.

Every single human alive practices polygamy. There is not a single monogamous human alive nor has ever been alive. A true monogamous species picks one mate and only ONE MATE for the entirety of their lives. Should their mate die, they DO NOT CHOOSE ANOTHER MATE. Humans are not a monogamous species and never has been. Christianity/monotheistic practices being brought to the forefront of most cultures through violent bloodshed and wars through history is the sole reason we practice monogamy these days.

Originally posted by FIFIGI
Does it make sense?

Not in the least to me. I have no problem with gay marriage, or any other btw BUT being married to more than 1 woman? That's just a map for disaster. 1 or none.

Originally posted by Xavialune

I get what youre saying though. But humans evolve...do you think monogamy is simply the next step in our evolution, or do you think its a sidestep that holds us back? I personally think it is an evolved state. one could argue the deep love of a monogamous relationship could eventually occur between multiple partners, but I think the majority of humanity isnt quite there yet.

perhaps I'm missing the original point, but thats just my opinion.

edit on 27-2-2011 by Xavialune because: (no reason given)

It is hard to tell what will be the actual future of humans. There is certainly a planned future for all human beings by the elite, and my feeling is that their plan is that most of us will be "become" androgynous beings with multiple technological and genetically enhanced extensions.

Also, most of the polygamy historically is related to women having multiple partners. This allowed the sperm to compete.

The orgy, because of the widespread concept of private property, is over - old polygamy ways openly are preserved in native tribes.

However, "modern" human (male and female) sometimes suffer (condemnation of society) from practicing old habits/ways.

Originally posted by intrepid

Originally posted by FIFIGI
Does it make sense?

Not in the least to me. I have no problem with gay marriage, or any other btw BUT being married to more than 1 woman? That's just a map for disaster.

1 or none.

Well, it interesting, though, that it has gone the other way around in Middle East, where males are controlling the multiplicity and particularity of partners - not females.

As a someone currently practicing practicing polyamory (not polygamamy, as that implies "marriage") I can say that this feels totally normal and natural to me and my primary (my wife).

I chuckle at the people who try to degrade and berate me for this lifestyle, but the simple fact is that I believe that humans are more than capable of living and caring for more than one person at a time. I feel it natural and normal and only current western culture has made it "abnormal".

While I have no problem with polygamy among consenting adults if they so chose. It seems all the cultures that have practised it through the ages have been oppressive toward women and treated them more as property then equals. Even Mormon polygamy tends to oppress thier women. I know some polygamous families and on the surface they appear to be happy, however you can tell they are not, their is always jealousies among the wives and a downtrodden or forlorn vibe too.

Interesting concept that I have run across before, I think what most people are missing is that this isn't about living with and loving multiple partners it's about having multiple sexual partners which isn't the same thing.

What a woman often looks for in a marriage partner might be ultimately very different to what she looks for to father her children, in the same way it is very natural for a man to feel the need to have offspring with multiple mothers.

No-ones saying its nice or something many of us would be happy with but the fact that it happens is beyond question.

reply to post by Versa


I am not certain about "polygamy", but what you described is something I know as "swinging". That is differant from Polyamory.

My understanding is that Polygamy is all about having multiple wives(and theoretically, husbands) but the reasons for it vary.

Just to clarify and reiterate the topic of the video, as it pertains to the Ancient & Lost Civilizations Forum:

In Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality renegade researchers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá debunk almost everything we “think we know” about sex and show how our promiscuous past haunts our current struggles regarding monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. Weaving together convergent, often overlooked evidence from anthropology, archeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, Sex at Dawn shows how far from human nature sexual monogamy really is and unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do

vimeo.com...

Commets should be of a mature and appropriate nature and pertain to the above context.

Originally posted by rogerstigers
As a someone currently practicing practicing polyamory (not polygamamy, as that implies "marriage") I can say that this feels totally normal and natural to me and my primary (my wife).

I chuckle at the people who try to degrade and berate me for this lifestyle, but the simple fact is that I believe that humans are more than capable of living and caring for more than one person at a time. I feel it natural and normal and only current western culture has made it "abnormal".

Thanks for sharing your personal experience.
I should add, that I am not... brave or loving enough, to openly practice it, but I completely see what you means.

P.S. Polyamory - that is an appropriate word. Thanks. The video was talking from the historical perspective about multiple sexual relations, rather than what we consider marriage. The institution of marriage is fairly recent phenomena.

Originally posted by hawkiye
While I have no problem with polygamy among consenting adults if they so chose. It seems all the cultures that have practised it through the ages have been oppressive toward women and treated them more as property then equals. Even Mormon polygamy tends to oppress thier women. I know some polygamous families and on the surface they appear to be happy, however you can tell they are not, their is always jealousies among the wives and a downtrodden or forlorn vibe too.

If you would watch the video, you would realize that Dr. Christopher Ryan is investigating sexual relationships before women became a property, which was a result of accumulation of wealth and a tendency to hand that wealth down to NOT just anyone, but their own offspring/generation.

See, at one point male noticed that some of the children looked like him and some did not

reply to post by kosmicjack


Thanks - I should have done it myself.
This should be clear now what time-frame we are talking about.

Originally posted by rogerstigers
reply to post by Versa

 

I am not certain about "polygamy", but what you described is something I know as "swinging". That is differant from Polyamory.

My understanding is that Polygamy is all about having multiple wives(and theoretically, husbands) but the reasons for it vary.

yes I know Im not describing polygamy and im not describing 'swinging' either actually I was describing what is commonly known as cheating...

reply to post by Versa



I assume you mean sleeping around with other people without the consent of your primary lover? Then yeah, I would agree that it has been around probably about as long as humans have been wearing the shroud of monogamy.

Lieing and deceit are cheating in my view -- no matter what the subject of the lies and deceit (excluding surprise parties, etc.)

From what I have seen over the years of reading histories, monogamy or non-monogamy is mainly a religious and culture thing. Therefore, it must be judged (or not) from the point of view of th parties involved.

Originally posted by rogerstigers
reply to post by Versa

 

I assume you mean sleeping around with other people without the consent of your primary lover? Then yeah, I would agree that it has been around probably about as long as humans have been wearing the shroud of monogamy.

Yes that is what I was referring to

It does seem to be a part of human nature however hurtful it is to us now with our monogamous ideals. It does however make sense from a reproductive point of view, putting all your eggs in one basket isn't the best plan for passing on your genes.

Originally posted by Versa


It does seem to be a part of human nature however hurtful it is to us now with our monogamous ideals. It does however make sense from a reproductive point of view, putting all your eggs in one basket isn't the best plan for passing on your genes.

Yes. A good point.

Why do some cultures tend to make polygamy hurtful and some do not?