dating add translations

Want to know what the person is REALLY like behind those "nice" descriptions in Singles Ads? Here are some translations.

DANDY LITTLE HOUSE KEEPER:
She has been married three times and kept all the houses

FINE CHARACTER
She's an ex-hooker

KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE MONEY:
She's a spend thrift and great at spending yours

STRONG FAMILY TIES:
She's a Mafia Princess

LOVES CHILDREN:
She's pregnant and needs a husband

WONDERFUL PERSONALITY:
She's fat

GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR:
She's fat and will laugh at anything you say

THE OUTDOOR TYPE:
She hunts, fishes, chews tobacco, just like the guys

READY TO SETTLE DOWN:
She's thirty-five, in a state of panic, and dying to marry

LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME:
She gets drunk every time she goes out

LOTS OF FUN AT PARTIES:
Often makes an ass of herself

MATURE WOMAN:
She's at least thirty, but looks at least forty-five

HAS THE APPEARANCE OF A YOUNG SCHOOL GIRL:
She's at least thirty-three, but dresses like a teenager

CASUAL:
She dresses like a slob

DECORATED HER OWN PLACE:
Her apartment resembles a pig sty

A GREAT DANCER:
She's a Stripper

NOT OVERLY EMOTIONAL:
She only cries twenty-seven times a day

DOESN'T CHASE MEN:
She's more of a mousetrap or a black widow spider type

SELDOM DATES:
She's a lesbian who needs a male escort for something

UNDERSTANDS MEN:
She's been married and divorced four times

A GOOD SPORT:
She knows two hundred jokes & can drink you under the table

LOOKS AND DRESSES LIKE A MODEL:
She's five eleven and weighs seventy-three pounds

BEEN IN SHOW BUSINESS:
She's a former porn movie star

KNOWS A LOT OF INTERESTING PEOPLE:
None of whom would marry her

Its early and I wanted to say what I wanted to say before, I lost my nerve. I am a true survivor of domestic violence, in the way that I would never discuss in on forum. I am a survivor and NOT a victim. There are things that could not be mentioned due to the intensity, and I have been on my own since then.

I want love, I probably even need it. But I cannot see how some people can straight out make a mockery of women like me. I am a cook, a sportsman, a old school video game lover, and I am scared to find someone to love me. I am sad now that I write this, but I am hopeful, that I will not become an example of the women/men that have starred your thread.

I am NOT a statistic, and I will not be someone that feels that I have to stand up for myself because someone cant let something go. I feel more sorry for someone like me than you. I'm sorry if you disagree, but I think Ive had just about enough of people putting people like me down.

I spend alot of time alone, and feeling helpless because I cannot identify with another, maybe I have it all wrong, or I'm scared, but this is not going to be my excuse.. will it be yours?!

NRE.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
Its early and I wanted to say what I wanted to say before, I lost my nerve. I am a true survivor of domestic violence, in the way that I would never discuss in on forum. I am a survivor and NOT a victim. There are things that could not be mentioned due to the intensity, and I have been on my own since then.

I want love, I probably even need it. But I cannot see how some people can straight out make a mockery of women like me. I am a cook, a sportsman, a old school video game lover, and I am scared to find someone to love me. I am sad now that I write this, but I am hopeful, that I will not become an example of the women/men that have starred your thread.

I am NOT a statistic, and I will not be someone that feels that I have to stand up for myself because someone cant let something go. I feel more sorry for someone like me than you. I'm sorry if you disagree, but I think Ive had just about enough of people putting people like me down.

I spend alot of time alone, and feeling helpless because I cannot identify with another, maybe I have it all wrong, or I'm scared, but this is not going to be my excuse.. will it be yours?!

NRE.

yeah im a emotional abused woman due to my younger brother and ex husband . but i love MEN honestly i do ..


all of these threads were, \ are meant to be strickly humorous .. i am not intending to bring anybody down or insult anybody...

what i was tryibng to do but failed at was bring a little light hearted humor to the forum because its so serious all of the time when it doesnt need to be ...

im sorry if i upset you in anyway ...

peace

AA

If I misunderstood your humor than I apologize. I am sure that you know that I mean NO hard feelings.

Peace, NRE

You should do what i do, just ignore that part of life, and not bother with it.

Why all the hassles, and your never going to meet anyone sane anyway.