I HATE MASONS!!!!

A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. Just before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had any last words.
"Yes" came his reply, "I hate Masons!"
"Why do you hate Masons?" asked the hangman.
"The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a Mason, the Judge who presided at the trial was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons!"
"Is that all?" asked the hangman, "
"Yes" replied the convicted murder.
"Then you will advance one step with your left foot."
THX Bro. Kenny Biggs this was great


Mods, feel free to move this to jokes, puns & such

reply to post by SirKnightE


A Tramp's Own Ritual
Q. Who comes here?
A. A poor, worthless candidate for charity, who begs to have and
receive a part of the free lunch of this town set apart for regular
customers, as many thousand tramps have done before me.
Q. How do you expect to gain the rights and privileges?
A. By being a man too lazy to work, not ashamed to beg, and
under the tongue of generally bad report.
Q. Where can this report be had of you?
A. In the police reports and inebriate asylums.
Q. From whence came you?
A. From a town in Texas called Booze.
Q. Then you are a regular tramp I perceive?
A. I am so taken and arrested wherever I go.
Q. How do you know you are a regular tramp?
A. By being often arrested and tried and never acquitted, and
expect to be arrested and tried and convicted again.
Q. Where were you first prepared to be a tramp?
A. In a small bar room adjoining my place of abode.
Q. How were you prepared?
A. By being kicked and cuffed around until divested of nearly all
my clothes, having been previously deprived of all my money
and diamonds.
Q. What first induced you to become a tramp?
A. That I might travel all over the land and indulge my ravenous
appetite for beer - and sponge my living from an easily
humbugged public.
Q. How am I to know you to be a tramp?
A. By the size and laziness of my feet, by the size and color of my
nose, and by signs, grips and words.
Q. What are words?
A. Certain plausible tales that will best serve to induce the lady of
the house to give up her cakes and pies.
Q. What are signs?
A. Dirty face and hands, torn and dirty clothes, with a bad limp in
either leg.
Q. What is a grip?
A. A tight hold on anything portable that can be turned into ready
cash.
Q. Will you give me the grip?
A. No; get one on some other fellow.
Q. How did you first gain admission to this town?
A. By a good long tramp at "low twelve" the time when all
policemen are called from labor to refreshments.
Q. How were you received?
A. By a cop, just on the point of taking a Manhattan eye-opener.
Q. What did he do with you?
A. He put me in the cooler in due form.
Q. What was next done with you?
A. He conducted me around from East to West, to the court house,
and told me to stand erect and face the judge.
Q. What did the judge say to you?
A. He told me to say my name and promise to obey the law, after
which he ordered me to take a step to the left and follow the
cop to the place from whence I came.
Q. What was then said to you?
A. I was asked whether I would be off or from.
Q. From what unto what?
A. From this town to the next quite quickly.
PASS

reply to post by TheLoneArcher






Great examination

I despise all forms of elitism.

Then again, i think that anyone who wears a uniform, or cuts their hair to society's standard, or covets money is an ignorant reptile, devoid of anything that resembles a soul.

reply to post by DeReK DaRkLy


Try saying that when you are attacked in the street and you need a policeman.
It is poeple like you who spit at society who are the first that scream for protection when the chips are down.
People have shed blood to give you the right to your views. If you hate the system that much, try living in a country without law and order. Hum, try Somalia, go on, you won't be missed.

reply to post by DeReK DaRkLy


Thats what she said....

When I'm attacked in the street, if I haven't armed myself, then I have no one to blame for my demise but myself.
The police have never done a thing for me in my life, except infringe on my rights.

We are taught as citizens that we are helpless without "the police"...
I beg to differ.

And today's military unknowingly serve only the wickedest of agendas, as far as I can see.

It's not my America, that's for sure.

reply to post by DeReK DaRkLy


[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/bd53ba652ad2.jpg[/atsimg]



Serioualy, WTF does any of this have to do the "joke" posted on this thread..... I'm sure there are hundreds of other thread for you to rant on, As a matter of fact theres a specific forum for you to rant as much as you like....
On to the next one

reply to post by DeReK DaRkLy


I sympathise with you, I really do. However, your statement was rather broad brushed. Not all people in uniforms or societies are bad. But consider a country that has no law at all. I am sure it is much worse than where you are.

But consider a country that has no law at all.

I wasn't promoting anarchy, I was putting down elitism.

i'm anti-conformity, pro-peace.
Most people don't understand how that can work.

Serioualy, WTF does any of this have to do the "joke" posted on this thread..... I'm sure there are hundreds of other thread for you to rant on, As a matter of fact theres a specific forum for you to rant as much as you like....

reply to post by SirKnightE


Heh... LIGAF about your little thread that nobody's even reading.

What makes you a Mason.

What makes a man a Mason, O brother of mine?
It isn’t the due guard, nor is it the sign,
It isn’t the jewel which hangs on your breast
It isn’t the apron in which you are dressed

It isn’t the step, nor the token, nor the grip,
Nor lectures that fluently flow from the lip,
Nor yet the possession of that mystic word
On five points of fellowship duly conferred.

Though these are essential, desirable, fine,
They don’t make a Mason, O brother of mine.
That you to your sworn obligation are true
'Tis that, brother mine, makes a Mason of you.

Secure in your heart you must safeguard and trust,
With lodge and with brother be honest and just,
Assist the deserving who cry in their need,
Be chaste in your thought, in your word and your deed.

Support he who falters, with hope banish fear,
And whisper advice in an erring one’s ear.
Then will the Great Lights on your path brightly shine,
And you’ll be a Mason, O brother of mine.

Your use of life’s hours by the gauge you must try,
The gavel of vices with courage apply;
Your walk must be upright, as shown by the plumb,
On the level, to bourn whence no travelers come,

The Book of your faith be the rule and the guide,
The compass your passions shut safely inside;
The stone which the Architect placed in your care
Must pass the strict test of His unerring square.

And then you will meet
with approval divine,
And you’ll be a Mason,
O brother of mine.