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What should I do?

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posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:03 PM
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I am 41 years old. Been on my own since I was sixteen. I have a wife and two children. I always made my own way. I have my own house with a mortgage. I have my own business, construction company.

I also have no work. My savings is gone. I went to the store yesterday, was going to buy oranges but 1 bag was 9 bucks? I am current up to date on all bills. I will not be next month. I could go and ask for food stamps and energy assistance but can't bring myself to ask for a handout. So what do I do.

I listen to the politicans and pundits talk about me. I say talk about me because when they talk about america they are talking about me, you and our families. Its upsetting to listen to them. They talk about things that they feel are important but have nothing to do with reality. Do I care dem or repub one way or the other? No ,we get the same both ways. Now we have these shootings which are awful and we are asked to have a respectful debate? Was it respectful when we bailed out the banks, No it was do it or everything will collapse. Thats not debate or respectful. So what should I do?


My son is growing like a weed and needs larger pants/shirts. I just bought oil with my credit card. My insurance agent renewed my business insurance and said business is awful and people renewing are dropping like flies. I laid my employees off and hated it as they are good workers and didn't want to lose them. The worst part is that I let all this affect me in a negative way. So what should I do.

This is my current event and I hope to get through it.I always have. All these things are what is being taken from me. I am very upset but I still have my family that loves me and I actually feel it more now than ever before. I am grateful for that. I don't want to lose what my family has gained over the years but feel it is slipping away.

So what should I do?




posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:10 PM
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Fight.
Be prepared to move, another state, a trailer park, an apartment. But don't give in, don't give up. When my wife was pregnant, and I only had a poor job, I took another, washing dishes at a bar so I could bring home something extra. We made it. You will too. There are jobs out there. Maybe not ones you think you can do but ones you may HAVE to do, just to feed your family.
Be strong. Keep faith.
I'll put your family in my prayers.



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:14 PM
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you should get a job?

currently my wife and I had to relocate to another state and take a live in job that we don't really like but there isnt much we can do about it because where we lived neither of us could find a job other then mcdonalds and both of us are college educated in popular fields even since I have been here the job market for my profession is so saturated I can't work unless im willing to do a $20 an hour job for min wage

if you want to fight back go here, www.whyweprotest.net...



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:15 PM
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reply to post by beezzer
Thank you
I never had anyone tell me that, It felt funny. I will do what ever it takes for me and my family. Its people like you that make communities strong. Thats what we are about. Don't you love the real america



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:18 PM
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Definitely swallow your pride and apply for whatever help you can. I know it's not easy, but don't look at it as a handout. Just think about how much the structure of our society and these experiments in globalization have cost us all.
edit on 14-1-2011 by Boreas because: pisspoor spelling



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:20 PM
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reply to post by jlafleur02
 



I am 41 years old. Been on my own since I was sixteen. I have a wife and two children. I always made my own way. I have my own house with a mortgage. I have my own business, construction company.

I could go and ask for food stamps and energy assistance but can't bring myself to ask for a handout.


Normally, I am not in favour of public assistance programs either...

BUT, I am sure that you have paid YOUR FAIR SHARE INTO THE SYSTEM based on what you have stated.

In the short term, if you don't have relatives/friends that you feel comfortable asking a little ($$) from, then just remember what you have paid into so far, and utilize the resources available. There should be no shame in doing this, although I know it must me difficult for you; but you do want to take care of your family, right? Plus, isn't there some plan in place for those about to have mortgage issues via Obama? By all means make use of the resources....

In the long term, It's hard to think about the future, but what does the market look like construction-wise in your locality? You may have to consider taking on another type of employment (additional) in your area, if you wish to remain there, or look for other regions/states to move your business to?

Sorry for the lengthy post, but just am so sorry to hear about your situation--as it seems common in many ways these days


And if you can elaborate more on your situation, I'm sure more solutions will arise.

Best of Luck!



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:22 PM
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It's not a handout at all, your taxes paid for these relief programs, unfortunately you need to use them, but that doesn't negate the fact you paid for these services in taxes, that's why they are in place.



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:26 PM
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Originally posted by jlafleur02
reply to post by beezzer
Thank you
I never had anyone tell me that, It felt funny. I will do what ever it takes for me and my family. Its people like you that make communities strong. Thats what we are about. Don't you love the real america

Darn right. I mean, you could sit and wonder what went wrong, or YOU could be the pilot of the ship! You ran a company. You know work. There is nothing dishonerable about getting your hands dirty, especially when it's for your family. If you're mopping floors, make it the best damned floors ever. If you're washin dishes, be the best damned dish-washer ever. And whatever you do, walk tall, be proud because you are doing it for those that you love.
Sstand straight and be proud.

My wife never loved me more than when I was washing dishes for her. She'd cry and say, "You really do love me."
edit on 14-1-2011 by beezzer because: typo



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:28 PM
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reply to post by jlafleur02
 


Keep your head up and don't give up. Maybe you need to relocate if you can't find work where you are. What do you do for a living? There are jobs up here in the NYC area if you are willing to move. Your family is what is important. You are lucky to have people that love and care about you.

I am the same age as you. I left home for the military at age 18. I have been though many ups and downs. Your hard times are just temporary. I wish you well and hope you get back on your feet.



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:36 PM
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priority one being the roof over your head and food on the plate, raise fast cash selling anything you don't want for quick money on eBay and craigslist. eBay also has a freebie craigslist-wannabe site called Kijiji that you can use to sell local. good for unloading extra TV's, skis, bulky items.
your son can make do with clothing from Salvation Army, mission shops, consignment stores and the like. there's another source of income - put some of your stuff (clothing, usually) into consignment shops.
enlist your sons PC skills, make up some flyers, legible and nice looking not chicken scratch by hand, post them local or hit the local supermarket and leave flyers for construction jobs or whatever you can offer homeowners: repairs, painting, etcetera. flyers under windshield wipers are pesky but yield great returns locally.
--also-- if you got a pick-up or a full size van you can offer all sorts of services. start selling firewood. post flyers for hauling services at home depot and lowes. advertise to do local hauling, garage cleaning, etcetera.

best of luck to you and yours, mate.



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:47 PM
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reply to post by jlafleur02
 

I'd like to pick up on something that may be overlooked because it's not a tangible "action to take", but that I think is the foundation of "what to do" going forward, to ensure that you and your family come out ok, because as others have said; there are many things you can "do" to help ease these hard times (tough decisions like relocation, multiple jobs, new careers, education assistance, public assistance, etc.) but one of the most important principles should not get lost... Your wife and you must make a commitment to each other and each to your children that whatever road you take, you take it together.

This:

The worst part is that I let all this affect me in a negative way.


May be happening because you might be feeling lost and unsure what to do, but making a plan is the easy step. The hard step is working as a family, to get it done and as we all know by now; money problems is one of the top reasons for divorce. Whatever you choose to do (and you do have choices) be aware of and protect the foundation you've built (your family) and avoid building walls around yourself that can't be torn down...



posted on Jan, 14 2011 @ 02:57 PM
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reply to post by LadySkadi
Very true all that was said by you and everyone. Peole sometimes get into a funk and depressive, sorry I feel better nowthanks all. My father said he felt this way when I was a kid sometimes. Whats sucks is my kids are going to go through this. I hope they don't have to but this seems to be some sort of cycle that none of us can figure out. Just stinks that it has to be this way.

I want to change it but what should I do?



posted on Jan, 16 2011 @ 08:07 PM
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reply to post by jlafleur02
 


I would get the food stamps, or else I'd be ready to steal or rob to get some money to feed my family. Food stamps seems easier. If you can get free food why not. Yea I wouldn't want to look like ohh I need food stamps but I also would not want to starve to death or eat out of garbage cans just yet, especially if I had a family. You could always try getting a job too.



posted on Jan, 17 2011 @ 01:46 AM
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First off, like others have said, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Most of us here here have probably been in your shoes at some point, myself included.

Secondly, the food stamps and energy programs were meant to help people just like you & you help fund those programs with your tax dollars. Also, don't think of it as a hand-out, but as a hand-up. It's there for you as you work to get your family back to a finacially secure place.

As for the money situation, here are just some ideas. If you are in construction, maybe look into being the guy who secures and checks on local foreclosures for the banks.(change locks, secure windows/board them up, winter ready the pipes, etc)

If you have any farms locally ask them about any side jobs they might have. My husband got us through a rough patch once shoveling stales, he smelled horrid, but it feed us until he landed a better job)

And when it comes to the household & saving, remember that kids know more than they let on. It's often better to be honest (to a degree) and they might surprise you with ideas on how to save money themselves.

One more thing I'll leave you with is something my dad always said, and something I live my life by..... "Don't let life stress you out. Accept that things will happen that you have no control over...... Take all that "stress" energy and focus it on the things you can change for the better. The rest will sort itself out."



posted on Jan, 17 2011 @ 01:57 AM
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Youve gotten fantastic advise here.. heed it. I can pray for you and we can ALL be here for you to bounce ideas off of or just for support as you make changes. One thing Ive learned over the years.. dont EVER look at changes like this and hard times as negatives. See the positives that are presented to you.. change shoudl not always be viewed as a step down or a negative thing.

Lady is right.. be strong in your immediate support system.. your family. This is HUGELY important.


I have a feeling that we will all be suffering hardships eventually regardless of what we see as our financial stability right at this second. All we can do is stick together and support each other.




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