"Where do you wanna eat?" ---"I don't know, whatever...." (The Solution)

When you and your spouse want to get dinner, do you often have this debate? (especially when just going to pick something up, like fast food, etc.)

You say, "Where do you wanna eat?"
Spouse answers, "I don't know, whatever..."

(this continues for about 10 minutes, often with the spouse not being enthused by ANY suggestion, or worse "If that's what you want, hon"....)

So, I've recently decided upon a solution.

We do this once:

You say, "Where do you wanna eat?"
Spouse answers, "I don't know, whatever..."

I say, "Ok", then I go where the heck I want to go, whatever I'm in the mood for....
Sometimes, she'll try and not order anything. I then ask her where she'd like to get something. If no answer, then we go home.

I figure that eventually, she'll get the hint, and start being more active in this decision. I don't pick places I know she hates, but I don't make apologies for the choice either.

I love my wife, but hate this ongoing, stupid debate.

You can't win.

I used to have similar situations with a lot of girlfriends.

"What do you want to do tonight"? I'd say.

"I don't know" she says.

I then make a decision....

"I don't want to do that" she says.

"Well what DO you want to do then" I say.

She repeats.."I don't know".................aaaaaahhhh!

reply to post by Gazrok


Are we married to the same chic? lol this can cause the most trivial of all fights and it aggravates me as well. Maybe I will try your solution, I bet it will fly like a lead balloon!

reply to post by Gazrok
What? She doesn't have dinner waiting on the table when you demand it every evening????

Where is she right now? Get her over here so I can give her a talking to!

Why, when I am finished with her........

You will have dinner on the table every evening, when she demands it.

The answer is...DON'T ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS.

More than likely, if you get that answer, she doesn't really want to go out. So, unless the suggestion is something awesome, you'll get a luke-warm response. Stay in. Watch a movie at home, or whatever. She's probably just looking for alone time with ya...

Originally posted by DevolutionEvolvd
The answer is...DON'T ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS.

Um...Dev...

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/da39c1e04f80.jpg[/atsimg]

I get this question a lot. I answer specifically and she says "no I don't feel like that". Then she tells me where she wants to go and we go there.

Same ol', same ol', but I don't mind. I know the drill.

Peace

reply to post by Dr Love


At least she tells you though...

To Lady Skadi....

No, that isn't it. We've already assessed at this point, that there isn't anything at the house to fix, we're on a time crunch, and we just need food. Thing is, years ago, she had stomach surgery, and ever since, food doesn't sit too well with her. She loves the taste, and you gotta eat, but it is what it is. So, I get that she's not too excited about it...but all I want is some input.

I bet it will fly like a lead balloon!

At first, sure...but we'll see what happens. Not like we didn't do our part and ask.

Originally posted by Dr Love
I get this question a lot. I answer specifically and she says "no I don't feel like that". Then she tells me where she wants to go and we go there.

Same ol', same ol', but I don't mind. I know the drill.

Peace

edit on 17-12-2010 by Dr Love because: (no reason given)

A fine way she has of assuring her control. (I know, we all are that way unless we are the type to beat them occassionally.)

I'm glad I'm not the only person that goes through this silly routine.

For us...we start basic and get more complexed.

Question: "Do you want to go out or stay in?"

Response: "I don't know...depends on what we eat."

Question: "Ok...well then what type of food sounds good...Pizza? Italian? Chinese? American?"

Response: "Let's get Pizza...and just stay home"

Question: "Ok...we got that narrowed down...now where do you want Pizza from???"

This seriously can go on forever...I have to say I am guilty as my wife though. It's a good thing we both like the same thing on our pizza...or we may never eat pizza.

We also do this other thing where instead of picking where we want to go...we start calling out places that we don't want. "Well I don't want Pizza Hut", "Ok, I don't want dominos", "Alright...I don't want Papa Johns"...eventually we narrow it down to a smaller choice.

But WOW...all that to decide what we want to eat. It's times like these were I really realize how much we have compared to other people in the world...some people have a more simple choice...like "Should I eat rice...or should I just not eat???"...and then I feel all guilty.

reply to post by OutKast Searcher

But WOW...all that to decide what we want to eat. It's times like these were I really realize how much we have compared to other people in the world...some people have a more simple choice...like "Should I eat rice...or should I just not eat???"...and then I feel all guilty.

So very true.

Except for some that are saying " I wish I had some rice to eat."

Too complicated. Ours goes like this

Wife: Here's what we're doing ...
Me: OK

Simple enough. Since I'm not the particular one, it never matters to me. Take something reasonably edible, throw it on a plate. I spent enough time pre marriage standing over the sink eating canned something out of a pan that it's all good now. When the kids are involved, I'm just relieved whenever we can figure out what to do about dinner without a major physical altercation ensuing.

reply to post by yeahright


The problem is though, I'm NOT particular. She is, but says she isn't...(like many women). She just expects that I somehow know what she wants, instead of just telling me.

If I could give ANY advice to a woman, on how to communicate with their guy, it's this, "TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT"...don't make us guess...that just ticks us off....

Response: "Let's get Pizza...and just stay home"

Ahh, if ONLY I got that far!
Instead, it's more like this:

Response: "Oh, whatever you want to do"
Me: "Ok, let's do Chinese..."
*She makes a face*
Me: "Ok, so you don't want that"
Response: "Its obvious you want Chinese"
*I mentally picture me pressing a James Bond ejection button....*

Am I really that off base here, in simply wanting some simple input on what to eat for dinner?

As for coming home to dinner...we both get home at the same time, so that's out. During the time I was unemployed last year, and she was working (about a one month overlap), I always had dinner on the table for her when she got home. (She was out for much, much longer, and often tried to do the same, but not that regularly).

Usually, we're seen by most as a pretty perfect couple. We rarely argue or fight. Which is why I don't see the need to do so over something as trivial as dinner....

reply to post by Gazrok


An alternate solution.

I leave the house after her in the morning, so......

I'll go and buy stuff to crock pot.

After she leaves, I put the stuff in to crock all day while we're at work.

We come home and have food ready, without the debate.

The only downside, is that there are only so many things to crock, and she'll want more variety than that.

Still though, this may solve at least SOME days of having this silly debate.

reply to post by Gazrok


I would say if it's to the extreme you mention, you two should just make/get your own meals. She's going to get hungry enough to decide eventually, AND she won't have to ask you!

Originally posted by Gazrok
The only downside, is that there are only so many things to crock,

Au contraire, young culinary Padawan. As the King of Crock (watch it) I can assure you the things to crock are near limitless. Merely one example. You'll have kids in middle school before you have to repeat a dish.

reply to post by yeahright


Not a bad idea... Now, if I can find one that has really lazy recipes, I'll be golden, which I'm betting they exist in those lists.

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by yeahright

 

*I mentally picture me pressing a James Bond ejection button....*

I have to say I laughed hard at this quote!!! Only because I have pictured it myself, without a parachute!
Gotta give ya a star!!

I've actually pressed one of my blank console buttons before, and she's asked what I'm doing, and I don't answer...but it makes me feel better....

I would say if it's to the extreme you mention, you two should just make/get your own meals. She's going to get hungry enough to decide eventually, AND she won't have to ask you!

Yep, I tried that tactic too. She doesn't eat, then she's still ticked at me.

So far though, my solution seems to be slowly working. Last time, she actually offered up a suggestion (that I took, in order to reinforce her offering one up next time).