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English proverbs and oneliners.

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posted on Dec, 11 2010 @ 08:06 AM
I had a few good laughs and found some interesting truths amongst these and the others found here...Enjoy.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

2B or not 2B? I think it's a grade of pencil.

3 nails + 1 cross = 4 given.

43% of all statistics are worthless.

668: The Neighbour of the Beast.

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The
rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.

A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are
out acting like teenagers.

A banker is someone who lends you an umbrella when the sun is
shining, and who asks for it back when it start to rain.

A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer -- it sings because it
has a song.

A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?" The father answered immediately, "I don't know. Nobody has lived that long yet."

A brook would lose its song if God removed the rocks.

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as
well as afterward.

A budget is something we go without to stay within.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as
when you are in it.

A calm sea does not make a skilled sailor. (African proverb)

A camel is a horse designed by a committee.

A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes
from the poor to protect them from each other.

A candle brightens the world around it. Unfortunately, it creates a
shadow of its own. It still serves the purpose it is meant for.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A
timely word may level stress. A loving word may heal and bless.

A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known
and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

posted on Dec, 11 2010 @ 09:06 AM
So many truths..

Wise people are not always happy - all encompassing love can hide from us the fact that nothing is forever, not is all as it seems and sometimes we don't know exactly how things are. The wisest people are the ones who understand this, yet still find happiness..

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