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My personal and spiritual experiences of being god.

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posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 07:01 AM
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Hi.

In 2005 I was admitted to a psychiatric ward for a couple of weeks following what the medical world labelled as a psychotic experience *SNIP*

What I would like to do is share that experience with you in the hope that you might be able to corroborate my belief that my experience was in fact a divine spiritual one and not a product of any psychosis.

My reasons for believing this to be the case is down to the two experiences i had prior to smoking marijuana.
When I was a child I had similar experiences to the one in 2005 however they were not as intense as the one I had in 2005 but they were indeed one and the same. The only difference was the length of time and the potency of these experiences.

To get into the thick of the experience itself and how it felt to me I would like to start at the very beginning when I was probably about 13/14 years old. My memory of my age at the time is very faded so I do apologise in advance for any gaps. I remember being a rather impressionable child, for one reason or another I was always into mysteries and the unknown, always a curious child.

My late mother had a friend who was affiliated with a black church of seventh day Adventists. Coming from an Italian family, outsiders may have found this somewhat of a contradiction in the coming together of different cultures. None the less the fact that my mother’s friend was black as too were her friends congregation, this had little or no effect on me.

I remember one particular day when one of the brothers from the church accompanied my mother’s friend and came visiting. I remember sitting around the dinner table and praying and I also remember the brother asking me to read parts of the bible. He had some amazing illustrations which he used to tell stories. Personally I found the whole experience to be quite addictive.

Here a young boy into world mysteries was being introduced to the beautiful possibility that there was a magnificent "God" who was all powerful, all knowing and all loving. I felt a presence take hold of me.
I had what I refer to as my first spiritual experience. The best and only way to date that i have been able to explain this to others is that it was like being born again.

Quite literally my whole being felt like it had been cleansed. At the time I didn’t have the foggiest idea what on earth was happening to me. All I remember is that I was instantly jubilant. I wanted to express myself and connect with everyone at the table. I had a new sense of vigour. I wanted to go out into the world and touch people, tell them how amazing life was. My metaphysics also changes. My breathing had become lighter, my endomorphines were buzzing and I was happily at peace with myself.

Now some of you may be able to associate with this feeling of being reborn. What some church folk would call a baptism of fire or being blessed by the Holy Ghost. I am sure there are many, many names attributed to such an experience.

Well... this was my first "spiritual" experience and from what i remember it lasted for a day or two at the most and then the feeling slowly dissipated into obscurity. Even so, the experience itself never left me. It was too personal and too profound an experience to leave, even at the early age of 14.

Fast forward and it is now 2005. I am at my mother’s home sitting on her PC reading up on some occult, spiritual mysteries. I have another profound experience this time much more intense and one that would stay with me for a couple of weeks. One that would eventually get me arrested and detained in a psychiatric ward.

Given the nature of this experience some of what happened is still a mystery to me. I am unable to piece together the order of events and even today I try to recollect the whole event and the order in which they happened evades me. I personally put this down to the experience itself and the magnitude of what was happening to me internally, psychologically, metaphysically and spiritually.

The things I remember.

Chasing my brother into the kitchen and scaring the poor guy half to death after picking up a kitchen knife and waving it around, leading my brother to exit the back of the kitchen in a panicked hurry.

Walking out to try and find him and bumping into a crew of BT (Phone Company) people fixing some of the telephone masts outside my mother’s back yard.

Thinking that this BT crew were in fact some form of government agency, tapping into my experience and having some kind of set up in the back of one of their vans, watching my every move.

I remember interacting with this crew of workers asking them profound questions on the nature of god.
I also remember this crew driving off rather hurriedly.

I remember walking around my mother’s estate talking to both people i knew and others I didn’t know.
I remember a feeling of interconnectedness to them all.

I remember walking onto another estate some 15 minutes away and causing quite a stir by telling the gang of youths that I was the antichrist. I remember them thinking I was on some kind of heavy drug and making fun of me. I remember talking to some of them on a profound level regarding freemasonry and the antichrist.

I remember them trying to chuck a bottle at me and missing.
I remember a confrontation I had with a spiritual black lady when she was shouting from her window some strange dialect as if cursing me or possibly talking in tongues, trying to banish what she may have perceived as evil entities. I remember shouting very loudly in her direction "why have you forsaken me lord" over and over again.

I remember being beaten up by two black guys on the marsh connecting their estate and my mothers, walking from the marsh to my mother’s estate bruised, knocking on a friends door and being told I looked ok, walking to where my mother’s house was and then interacting with neighbours.

I remember walking up to someone's house after having heard a commotion inside. Knocking on the door and being greeted by a young black kid with a number of weapons in his hand telling me to get away.

I remember walking around and around this square patch of grass in the centre of my mother’s block and the police turning up and hand cuffing me. I remember my mother turning up from her shopping trip just as I was being arrested. I remember all the neighbours coming out of their houses as I was being led to my mother’s house, the strange conversation I had with the officers and then being driven to the hospital.

I remember being given a cup of pills and waking up in the psychiatric ward and I remember my 1-2 week stay in that ward.

Throughout all of these experiences I remember most the feeling of being free, happy, at peace, connected, loved, led, in touch with nature, spirited, central to everything and everyone and I felt as though I had a mission, a quest. I never felt alone but that god or Jesus or some higher force was with me.

I did say that I had 3 experiences and that some of these experiences were muddled and unclear in their order to me even today as I write this. The second experience in-between these two or after the 3rd experience I have described led me on some form of religious journey one in which I remember visiting a number of churches, praying in them... A mosque, a Buddhist temple, a catholic church, going back to visit my mother’s friend in the 7th day Adventist church (yes she was still there after all those years) and also meeting a non-orthodox Jewish rabbi who subjected me to some form of ritual with certain members of his church at his home. I remember all the experiences but what I don’t remember is the order in which they happened.

These are the experiences but more importantly to me was what was happening to me internally. The thoughts, the feelings, the emotions, the profound experience of being god.
No words can possibly describe the sensation of my experience it was the most amazing feeling of being set free from every form of gravitational pressure that the earth and life exhorts on you. It was like flying above the "matrix" and looking down on it from a Birdseye view.

Once again this feeling dissipated and since then i have longed for that connection again.

Since 2005 I have held firmly onto the belief that i am destined to become someone who will have a major impact on life as we know it. I feel central to the unfolding of the world’s greatest conspiracy. I feel as though "god" subjected me to these experiences to ready me for the final experience. The one where I will embrace this energy that possessed me in its entirety and not just momentarily. I felt as though I was the messiah and I felt as though I was the antichrist, yes. I feel as though a time will come where I will once again have this feeling of interconnectedness but that this time rather than being overwhelmed I will channel this energy. I feel as though my past 3 experiences were subjected onto me to prepare my body.

Some may call me mad and I wouldn’t blame you, personally I feel there is a lot of hope for humanity within my belief and without certain events playing out that humanity will be destined for extinction. I have hope that everything will reach its climax soon and all truths will surface.

I have a wealth of knowledge which I could explain, connecting me to the prophesised messiah but I will refrain for the time being as this is more about my spiritual experiences and finding out if anyone on ATS had similar experiences of feeling connected to everything in profound ways.

I have been completely honest in this post and it has not been easy for me. I hope I am not hated or labelled or judged as a result and that you will all share your opinions and thoughts respectfully with me.
As a result of my experiences and beliefs I produced an album of music, video and lyrics which explain how I feel and what I think of life and if you wish to hear of my journey through this medium then please send me a private message and I will happily provide you a link to my personal YouTube page where you can share my experiences further with me.

Thanks






The SUSPENSION of the discussion of illicit drugs/mind altering substances on ATS (The experiment failed)





posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 07:38 AM
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Awsome! very interesting experience you had and i hope people dont tell you are mad on here, id be interested in a link to your youtube mate



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 07:39 AM
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illusions of grandeur the lot of it. Pot over the years has more thc in it due to cross breeding and genetic altering to make it produce more thc but pot also has a anti psychotic drug in it too that drug is diminishing due to the higher thc levels the effect is making pot smokers go crazy. I used to smoke from 14 to 17 but stopped at like 17 because i didn't like how i felt on it that was 10 years ago. It took 3 years just to feel normal again and it took 2 years just to dream again. I became depressed till about 21 maybe 22 its effects build i watched my friends loss it many times while off it and if they tried to quit it got worse. sounds to me like that's what happened to you. it caused a chemical imbalance in you with your highs followed by great lows making you reach for extremes like being god or being the devil. your mind probably raced to catch up with the imbalance and the reason you didn't remember some of it is because of your brain was functioning at a low point causing weird symptoms of fight or flight mixed with emotional lows and highs in short your brain was malfunctioning like a car that's idle is messed up. But im sure you have told this before then pumped full of drugs then ejected out of the hospital with a bunch of questions you reach for extremes to explain what happened. And in short we get this type of post
edit on 29-11-2010 by pcrobotwolf because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 07:42 AM
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can we listen to the results of this strange life of yours? aka, the music



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 07:50 AM
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Interesting post. I have some very similar experiences...

I had my first psychotic episode in 2001, another in 2002, another in 2004 and another in 2007. The funny thing is I actually enjoyed each episode because you experience a very altered state of consciousness and have some very profound spiritual experiences, just like what you have described. I could go on for hours telling my story but instead I will just list some of the things I remember having experienced.

-Mind over matter: I was able to curve the water coming out of the tap, turn off street lights, manipulate the weather to a great extent (starting a storm and high gale winds, lightning would occur when I triggered it with my mind), during the day I could cause clouds to cover up the sun, or reveal the sun by will alone. There were also moments when I felt like I was influencing the speed of time. When I was in hospital I was colouring with a felt tip pen, I actually changed the colour of the pen and to this day that pen looks one colour (even on the tip) but draws another.

-Experiences with angels, demons and aliens, things that were following me around making noises when no one was there.

-Intense dreams, astral projections, lucid dreams, etc.

-Intense meditations, almost merged my consciousness with god but chose not to.

-Many moments where I almost reached complete enlightment but my thought process was interrupted by someone just as I was on the verge of achieving it.

-Moments of telepathy, one in particular where i very briefly communicated with another telepathic being in a moment of extreme presence of the here and now.

-Being able to perceive everything in symbolic form as a direct communication to you from god. This includes the common "getting messages from the TV and radio".

Well I could go on and on, I've forgotten most of it but theres also all the intense emotions and other general experiences you get that are just completely out of this world- It really makes you wonder if it is all just delusions, but if at least one of the things I mentioned was in fact entirely real then many other things could have been real too.



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 07:52 AM
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There are very many beautiful spiritual experiences one can have, but when these energies are filtered through the Ego who takes credit for them and thinks he is "chosen", then the overload-of-energy fries the brain and what started as a spiritual experience turns into a psychiatric condition. Then, rather than sharing kindness and joy one would go around threatening people with swords and knives and spouting gibberish about the end of the world or similar.



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 08:40 AM
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Originally posted by Skyfloating
There are very many beautiful spiritual experiences one can have, but when these energies are filtered through the Ego who takes credit for them and thinks he is "chosen", then the overload-of-energy fries the brain and what started as a spiritual experience turns into a psychiatric condition. Then, rather than sharing kindness and joy one would go around threatening people with swords and knives and spouting gibberish about the end of the world or similar.


My spiritual journey has taught me to shed the ago as much as possible and as a result of this shedding i have become a very loving and giving soul. My intentions are not selfish in the slightest but my concern is rather one for the world at large. I see countless injustices in the world and my aim is to restore balance in a world that has increased in its wickedness and selfish egotistical desires.

I no longer need to believe that i am destined to be pivotal in the coming changes that the world will shortly face. If it is meant to be then it will be, this is how I now see it.

There are many religious and spiritual leaders that believe in a messiah. Who is to say who is correct and who is incorrect and who is to say that one person is deluded and another the true messiah?

It comes down to how things manifest in the world around us and as a result become a part of our global reality.

I understand how easy it is to box what a person says in order for that information to remain undiluted within your personal current world view. It is the ego's way of protecting itself. When we are faced with challenges we can either accept them or bin them. This action however does not vindicate that said challenge to be true or false. It merely is put to one side so one can continue in their own world view.

This is why the thought of a messiah or antichrist or whatever is so threatening to people because it interferes with their world view and the bubbles in which they find themselves safe. This is not to say that it will not manifest.

Ultimately my beliefs are for a better, safer, more peaceful and loving world but i have enough intelligence to know that war is inevitable for this to occur. There will be a global resistance to such an ideology but if you look at all the signs around us, the conditioning, the matrix, the avatar, the ufo movement... is it really absurd to entertain the possibility that a world messiah is edging closer and closer to the world stage?

Who is to say that world messiah is not you or me?

I prefer to remain open minded rather than closed minded for to accept is more of a peaceful action than to reject. One precedes closure the other precedes retaliation.

Besides which you have elements of freemasonic symbolism in your avatar. If you are high enough within your lodge you will know that your society is all about a world messiah, no?



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 08:45 AM
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Originally posted by Eonnn
Interesting post. I have some very similar experiences...

I had my first psychotic episode in 2001, another in 2002, another in 2004 and another in 2007. The funny thing is I actually enjoyed each episode because you experience a very altered state of consciousness and have some very profound spiritual experiences, just like what you have described. I could go on for hours telling my story but instead I will just list some of the things I remember having experienced.

-Mind over matter: I was able to curve the water coming out of the tap, turn off street lights, manipulate the weather to a great extent (starting a storm and high gale winds, lightning would occur when I triggered it with my mind), during the day I could cause clouds to cover up the sun, or reveal the sun by will alone. There were also moments when I felt like I was influencing the speed of time. When I was in hospital I was colouring with a felt tip pen, I actually changed the colour of the pen and to this day that pen looks one colour (even on the tip) but draws another.

-Experiences with angels, demons and aliens, things that were following me around making noises when no one was there.

-Intense dreams, astral projections, lucid dreams, etc.

-Intense meditations, almost merged my consciousness with god but chose not to.

-Many moments where I almost reached complete enlightment but my thought process was interrupted by someone just as I was on the verge of achieving it.

-Moments of telepathy, one in particular where i very briefly communicated with another telepathic being in a moment of extreme presence of the here and now.

-Being able to perceive everything in symbolic form as a direct communication to you from god. This includes the common "getting messages from the TV and radio".

Well I could go on and on, I've forgotten most of it but theres also all the intense emotions and other general experiences you get that are just completely out of this world- It really makes you wonder if it is all just delusions, but if at least one of the things I mentioned was in fact entirely real then many other things could have been real too.


Thanks for your post but some of your experiences defy reasonable logic. That is not to say they did not happen as some of my experiences which i have not included were also to a large extent what some would refer to as unbelievable i.e. communicating with nature, seeing signs that manifest in front of my eyes like miracles.

I don’t exclude your experiences but rather embrace them. When we align in perfect symmetry to that which is destined for all of us, miracles will become common place.

I think a lot of what you say you experienced is down to being in synch and being at the right time at the right place with the right approach in your thinking to life and what is going on around you. When this happens it opens up the potential to view the world as a supreme being, being interconnected and one with all you experience.



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 08:47 AM
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Originally posted by pcrobotwolf
illusions of grandeur the lot of it. Pot over the years has more thc in it due to cross breeding and genetic altering to make it produce more thc but pot also has a anti psychotic drug in it too that drug is diminishing due to the higher thc levels the effect is making pot smokers go crazy. I used to smoke from 14 to 17 but stopped at like 17 because i didn't like how i felt on it that was 10 years ago. It took 3 years just to feel normal again and it took 2 years just to dream again. I became depressed till about 21 maybe 22 its effects build i watched my friends loss it many times while off it and if they tried to quit it got worse. sounds to me like that's what happened to you. it caused a chemical imbalance in you with your highs followed by great lows making you reach for extremes like being god or being the devil. your mind probably raced to catch up with the imbalance and the reason you didn't remember some of it is because of your brain was functioning at a low point causing weird symptoms of fight or flight mixed with emotional lows and highs in short your brain was malfunctioning like a car that's idle is messed up. But im sure you have told this before then pumped full of drugs then ejected out of the hospital with a bunch of questions you reach for extremes to explain what happened. And in short we get this type of post
edit on 29-11-2010 by pcrobotwolf because: (no reason given)


I can assure you an illusion of grandeur is very different to that which i describe. As mentioned in my opening post some of my spiritual experiences took place prior to me ever coming in contact with marijuana. This is why i continue to believe that my experiences were not one of psychosis but something a lot more spiritual and profound.



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 08:53 AM
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Originally posted by nakiannunaki
Who is to say that world messiah is not you or me?


Thats still the Ego talking, not Spirit. Sprititual energy tends to land you either a position high up in a Mountain Monastery or in a Psychiatric Ward. Be careful.



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 09:17 AM
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Originally posted by Skyfloating

Originally posted by nakiannunaki
Who is to say that world messiah is not you or me?


Thats still the Ego talking, not Spirit. Sprititual energy tends to land you either a position high up in a Mountain Monastery or in a Psychiatric Ward. Be careful.


It is a question.



Now i'm begining to think you are overly parranoid!



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 09:24 AM
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Here is my link if you care to venture further...

www.youtube.com...

Thanks for all your input so far



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 09:34 AM
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"Here a young boy into world mysteries was being introduced to the beautiful possibility that there was a magnificent "God" who was all powerful, all knowing and all loving. I felt a presence take hold of me. "

That is when you gave up your sovereignty and allowed an entity access - it's the oldest trick in the book!

All those wierdy experiences - are interesting and usefull - but they do not mean you are special, evolved or superior, it just means you are a bit flaky and unbalanced. The developement of character is the real test in this world.



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 09:49 AM
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Originally posted by JohhnyBGood
"Here a young boy into world mysteries was being introduced to the beautiful possibility that there was a magnificent "God" who was all powerful, all knowing and all loving. I felt a presence take hold of me. "

That is when you gave up your sovereignty and allowed an entity access - it's the oldest trick in the book!

All those wierdy experiences - are interesting and usefull - but they do not mean you are special, evolved or superior, it just means you are a bit flaky and unbalanced. The developement of character is the real test in this world.



How better to develop your character than to continually battle these entities from the flaky and unbalanced age of 13?



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 09:50 AM
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So easy to poke holes so hard to have faith...



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 10:46 AM
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Your experience is one that is in-tuned to the universe. This is how everyone is supposed to feel, except it's supposed to be a feeling of all goodness and nothing like the anti-christ or the end of the world. I remember when someone I knew was feeling down and I said "Why feel sad when you can think about this, this, and that"? Then I kept saying more reasons why one should be happy now and what I appreciated and what I loved and how the world is progressing to get better and better and before I knew it my body felt tingly and I was exploding with energy like I was on top of the world. At one point I felt like crying because I also saw the world as "evil" and stuff and there was so many things I didn't see about this world about why it is lovely and why I appreciate it.

When you feel that way, you really open up a better feeling perspective...and dare I say... reality?



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 01:08 PM
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Originally posted by arpgme
Your experience is one that is in-tuned to the universe. This is how everyone is supposed to feel, except it's supposed to be a feeling of all goodness and nothing like the anti-christ or the end of the world. I remember when someone I knew was feeling down and I said "Why feel sad when you can think about this, this, and that"? Then I kept saying more reasons why one should be happy now and what I appreciated and what I loved and how the world is progressing to get better and better and before I knew it my body felt tingly and I was exploding with energy like I was on top of the world. At one point I felt like crying because I also saw the world as "evil" and stuff and there was so many things I didn't see about this world about why it is lovely and why I appreciate it.

When you feel that way, you really open up a better feeling perspective...and dare I say... reality?


This is very much how I see the duality of life. Both good and bad. In its good aspects we have the beauty of nature and of love and in the bad aspects we have the failings of human nature and evil. You can choose to live in either reality but it would be ignorant to turn a blind eye to all the negativity in the world. Whether or not you choose to acknowledge it, it still exists and this is why i cannot ignorantly live a happy life without doing anything to balance the negativity of the world. I will die trying if needs be because sooner or later everyone’s pretty picture of a life will become unstuck and then where will we all be?
edit on 29-11-2010 by nakiannunaki because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 02:17 PM
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reply to post by nakiannunaki
 


Well, my two favorite quotes are "ignorance is bliss" and "follow your bliss". I'm doing what I can to stay happy. I'd rather keep feeling that joyfully energetic ecstatic feeling than feeling down and ranting about the whole world which I could never change. I'm just trying to focus on the stuff that makes me happy, only. Life is supposed to be fun. That's what I think, anyway.

EDIT:

I'm not saying that the problems are not important, I'm saying that there are other perspectives to look at it. I don't focus on the problem but I live the solution. I know that the Earth is becoming polluted but I don't preach doomsday to people, instead I make sure that all of my trash properly goes into the garbage instead of the ground. This way, I can feel good that I'm doing a good thing and NOT have to focus on the problem and feel bad. I lead by my example.
edit on 29-11-2010 by arpgme because: I edited to add more thought



posted on Nov, 29 2010 @ 08:29 PM
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I have had "episodes" that have lead to spiritual revelation. I do believe it can be connected with imbalances but that it doesn't mean the energy flowing through you is not real. I believe our minds can get to a point where it kind of opens us up to a sort of spiritual battle and I think people feel displaced or amped up or perhaps even numb when these things happen and it could be endorphins or adrenaline and could be due to any number of psychological responses to stimuli. Years ago I felt weird sensations a lot...almost as if the ground I was walking on could not ground my energy... like my energy was floating above it as I walked and I would look at my hands and they would look strange to me... not only in shape but brighter in color. It's weird because around that time I was certain that people were wanting to kill me (long story). I was having the misfortune of being around a lot of superstitious people and when you have fears like that in the back of your mind, you will psychologically react to it. It's almost like your mind is being forced to quickly prepare for it.

What I mean to say is, with the way you were acting, it's possible that others could have gotten even more combative with you and instinctively... you were closer to the spiritual realm. What I mean is that you could have lost your life that day and in a spiritual sense felt it coming on... almost like a mild state of shock where things seem surreal. It seems to have started with your violent behavior and that just set the rest of the events up like dominoes. It sounds to me like you were somewhat detached from your body the way a lot of people who are going through a violent situation will detach... like soldiers getting wounded and then walking out into the middle of the battle knowing that it's not a good place to be like they are bullet proof. Your mind is preparing you and there may even seem to be a sense of reflex to it, like somewhere your mind can feel it coming on before your conscious even comprehends the situation.

That is not to say that the symbolism of good and evil means nothing, because I believe it could... especially if it polarized you in a certain direction. I believe we all have a piece of the devil and god in us. Any of us could be martyrs or living demonic forces of evil. These "snapshots" of the age old struggle between good and evil and all that it implies... falling from grace, sacrifice, a sense of great importance... it happens to a lot of people on varying degrees of intensity.

I think the question you should ask yourself is do you want to go out like Jesus? Do you want to be the embodiment of the antichrist... or would you rather take this experience and learn from it concerning what to do and what not to do. I have had many scenarios in my life that were of great meaning to me and just felt the need to share these epiphanies... but usually I at least try to hold it back to some degree until the feelings of excitement and anxiousness pass... so a lot of times when this sort of thing has happened to me, I refuse to talk and get literally stiff. I have been in stressful situations, for example, at work and started realizing some very strange things about my surroundings and it put my mind into a sort of "soldier" type mode... almost robotic and then got in the car to go home and sat in the same position for a solid thirty minute drive without flinching or speaking. If I had started talking about my feelings before I got them worked out, I probably would have not made very much sense and confused the people around me to a detrimental extent. It has happened a lot of different ways but on that particular night I was not in good company because some people had started working at the company i was working for and I felt surrounded and I didn't know what they wanted and I was getting agitated and felt mentally exhausted and that I couldn't even do my job because of the distractions and my mind got to a certain point and then a strange calm washed over me and I was able to do my job just fine... I went into almost like a daze or trance and all the confusing thoughts of these particular people, unfriendly superstitious accusing people started being washed away and replacing them was a continuous thought being repeated over and over again... "The General likes his coffee... The General likes his tobacco... and the General likes you"
My life completely changed that day... for the better. I gained a bit discipline to turn things around and it didn't get automatically easy, but it completely changed. I remember that as the time when the construction of armor against negative people who I had let into my life was beginning... and I believe that very specific spirits had come upon me.

I went on break and had coffee and cigarettes (I smoked back then) and it was like no one else was there... almost like I was made of steel. No one could bother me... no one could touch me, not any of these people full of hate could do a thing to me and my coffee never tasted so good. Unfortunately I then got addicted to coffee.
That is just one experience where I damn near flipped out but instead, something locked it down, kept it contained. there have been much different examples of energy like this that have gotten way out of hand... not to the point where I hurt anyone, it is usually me that winds up getting hurt but I tend to pretty mouthy when backed into a corner and pissed off. Some surprising things have come out of my mouth. Belligerent fits mixed with revelation. Drugs can bring it on, alcohol can bring it on, even dehydration or lack of sleep can bring it... but if you are having issues with a rise in dopamine in your brain and you start realizing things and becoming aware of all sorts of things and you allow yourself to react and can't lock it down- you need to find someone to teach you how. With a good heart you would serve a much better purpose in life if you don't get yourself killed. Life can be very conflicting and full of literally awful people who think they know what's best and have a right to control you over the stupidest things... thinking they know what you are going to do next and taking pre-emptive action against you. Don't give them the bait. Don't give them a reason. The world doesn't need another martyr. The world needs progress and you can make waves by your own personal progress... by winning your own personal battles, but you will understand more and witness more and be accountable for more noble things and great things like you feel if you direct it. there may be things that have happened in your life that seem to set you apart... not everyone's life is average, but those powers can manifest in many people in many ways. Try not to get hellbent on what it means to you specifically, because that energy is everywhere. Some can just feel it more than others.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:30 AM
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Originally posted by arpgme
reply to post by nakiannunaki
 


Well, my two favorite quotes are "ignorance is bliss" and "follow your bliss". I'm doing what I can to stay happy. I'd rather keep feeling that joyfully energetic ecstatic feeling than feeling down and ranting about the whole world which I could never change. I'm just trying to focus on the stuff that makes me happy, only. Life is supposed to be fun. That's what I think, anyway.

EDIT:

I'm not saying that the problems are not important, I'm saying that there are other perspectives to look at it. I don't focus on the problem but I live the solution. I know that the Earth is becoming polluted but I don't preach doomsday to people, instead I make sure that all of my trash properly goes into the garbage instead of the ground. This way, I can feel good that I'm doing a good thing and NOT have to focus on the problem and feel bad. I lead by my example.
edit on 29-11-2010 by arpgme because: I edited to add more thought


Then good for you. Being, thinking, acting and feeling positive, even when dealing with the negativity in the world.
You have chosen to live a positive life without feeling as though you can impact on the wider world and that is your choice and what makes you happy. I on the other hand have no choice. I cannot go back to living a life which only serves my needs, not after knowing what i know and experiencing what i have experienced. For my it just does not work that way. When you have crossed a particular line within yourself, there simply is no going back. But i do understand your perspective and i wish you well in spreading positive energies to your circle and even beyond.




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