posted on Nov, 20 2010 @ 02:59 AM
I have had a lot of problems with aching in my chest and the last time this was happening to me was during an emotional period. Nothing bad was
happening to me at the time, I was just feeling strange emotions. I was doing some searching if you will and kind of letting my emotions guide me and
be lead where ever the energy I was feeling wanted to guide me,... to identify it, to figure out where it was coming from.
What I didn't realize is that energy (and has apparently happened a lot before) from my heart chakra was kind of running out like a water faucet that
somebody forgets to turn off. I was trying to sort of give something of myself to see where it lead me and it was being spilled out and wasted...as
opposed to having a use for that energy as you would fill a bucket up with water and then whoever is using that water respects the energy enough to
close the spigot. I was looking for closure in an external source and sort of left the spigot open to let the energy run freely... and no one cared to
It began to ache, but then something occurred to me. I don't know if I just lucked up and had a realization or if what I thought was guiding me
helped me to realize that I needed to reign in that energy back to me, to keep it for a better use because I was wasting it. I tried struggling with
my mentality to make myself stop wanting to search and outpour that particular energy in my searches... but I couldn't. it was almost as painful
mentally and i was mentally fatigued as well. I could not mentally turn it off and I don't know if this is because I did not have enough control in
my mental energies or if it was because the energy was not "mental" in origin that started it all... or perhaps I did turn it off mentally by
learning how to turn it off via physical sensation and it just took a little while to realize it... a few days perhaps.
It hurt and I was crying a lot around that time whereas I had been feeling very much on the upswing of anxiousness and really great when it all
again, I tried to rationalization where the problem was at but it seemed too hard so I had to control it by physical sensation... literally pulling in
my energy there and keeping it. Then the mental part worked itself out in time because physically I felt better. Pain of an emotional origin often
manifests physically. I learned quick and I did not dwell. I believe if I had not realized that reigning in that energy could be a conscious effort,
it would have dragged out longer. The pain, it would have taken more of a toll.
I guess you have to be very careful where you put your energies. I find the whole thing kind of karmic because there was someone else who may have
been directing slight energies my way... my ex and I was deflecting them but did so because his energies seemed less than genuine or began to feel
premature. I don't want to go into that but after it was all said I done, I know I cried, I know I worried and I tried for his sake but he is just
not ready to understand me and all that stuff like that... to sense things... and I had to adjust how I spent my energies, which i still need to work
on... but I know I am getting there. things are getting better. BALANCE!
I learned that I had been releasing too much of that type of energy all my life and that it could possibly be damaging me. It's probably always going
to happen to some degree to everyone and is a part of life whether you notice it or not...whether you feel it or compartmentalize it or defer it or
can simply endure it all numbly. I also tend to feel a lot of positive energy there at other times and this is the upswing of great anticipation that
could harm you if you are not careful. I think what people are feeling when they feel tingling and warmth is that upswing. You are beginning to send
out energy because something has inspired you and filled you up with energy that you will tend to share like a reflex, but some people just dump it
out and lose it. *Raises hand* If you lose too much and are not sent energy back, you will be left drained.
Of my chakras it seems to be very active. Sometimes I feel it a lot, sometimes it goes numb, sometimes it aches... releasing it a lot, trying to lock
it down a lot when completely forced to... but I never actually, I dunno...THOUGHT about it or noticed what I was doing. It was more of a reflex than
a conscious effort. My subconscious would try to control it I guess because I was less able to. I think I am still learning.
After it hit me to make it a conscious effort, I felt a difference immediately. I was simply losing my energy there and didn't realize it. it was
draining me. I think I am easy prey for psychic vampires and I need to watch that #! I let people get to me too much.... and anyone who has any idea
that you are outpouring a certain energy in their direction and laps it up like milk and does not help you contain it... or doesn't conduct
themselves better to encourage those around them to not expound their energies to them like lavishing them with rose petals is a psychic vampire...
whether they know it or not. whether they have the conscience to admit it or not.
I have done it to people and I have acknowledged it. I try to not let others outpour to me that way if I do not intend to help them learn how to be
frugal with the energy they are directing to me or reciprocate it back to them.
I'm not joking, I seriously think it can make you sick to outpour that energy that way... especially long term. It can gradually and insidiously