Bullying--- the ups and downs////is there a way to prevent the youth from going thru the maddness?

Ok ATS I see this sad issue still exist today as it did when I was a child. Bullying is a serious issue that has to be seriously approached as to prevent it from continuing on. Here is some of my personal experiences with it.

From my younger days in elementary school I was always taught by my mother to be a leader not a follower. So It was embedded from single digit Earth years to never follow what others do but what I WANT TO DO. so I carried this mindstate since then. The thing is i can remember the problems that I encountered during my elemantary school days all the way up to highschool, smh believe it or not. Very sad.

My elementary days, I remember my first situation with bullying. I lived in the projects and road the local city school bus too school dont panic it wasnt that bad overall we were just poor as many others but moms and my father looked out for me and my sibilings as best they could and taught us important things to survive within the environment we were living in without becomming products of that environment. Now back to going to school because the bullying started from the minute I would step on the bus, smh.

I was a cool lil kid well dressed but not overdressed to make my peers feel like they wish they had what I did. Normal kid lol. Anyways once first grade started and I went from the little cab driver transports to yellow bus transports things began to change for me fast. I went from me and mabey 1 other K age kid in a little white cab to a whole school bus full of children, which was a lil scary as well as entertaining when the energy on the bus wasnt negative. Sometime the I will call them GROUP KIDS or leaders and followers would pick on the I will call them TARGET KID OR KIDS, SMH AND GUESS WHAT I WAS ONE OF THE TARGET KIDS.... The thing is my mother and father taught me well so I was basically prepared for the leader/ follower set up and when I begin to notice this was the bullying influence I began to catch on a lil.

So one day in the winter it was getting around Christmas time and in me school we had santas workshop. Like all the other kids I was happy to go home and tell my parents Iabout getting them something aswell as my sibilngs later in the week, great nothing wrong YET. I got on the bus the next day and it all began I was now the center of the GROUP KIDSand felt very sad and upset more so then afraid of them I just didnt understand this new form of ignorance I was being introduced to so yes I was a lil caught off gaurd. I was on the bus and 3 bullies approached me about my santas workshop money they new it was comming up that week and wanted me to give them my presents. I was lost and extremely upset by this I didnt know what to do. the bus driver seemed like he was on another planet and there seemed to be no way to deal with what they wanted. So I first tried to ignore them but remember as the TARGET KID THEY WONT STOP UNTIL YOU MAKE THEM OR CRUNCH UNDER THEIR PRESSURES. So inschool during the day I kept trying to avoid them and they sensed it and stayed near me. I felt so overwhelmed I didnt know what to do I just wanted to CRUNCH AND CRY. It made my school days for that week so uncomfortable I didnt want to go.
So that week went on and it got closer to the day infact two days before and I was upset so much my father heard me crying in my bed and thought there was something really wrong. he came into my room and asked me wat was up I tole him from my bed that some bullies wanted me to give them my money or gifts and I didnt know what to do. I see he was upset and felt bad for me. Pops took me down stair and started talking to me abot these bullies and how followers always gotta gaing up because by themselves they are trully weak. I understood this and payed deep attention for more. Now some of you may take what I about to say as wrong but hey this is the jects. some poele got real financial issues and their kids take them issues to school with them. Anyway back to it. After talking my dad told my to lol put my hands up I sad what is that and he showed me. then he put his 2 hands up open so i could begin to take practice shots at each hand I didnt know my courage was being injected from that point on. I took a few minutes swinging at his hands and then once I got a little CONFIDENCE I felt much better. Dad told me clearly when you go to school tommorow and they start gathering up on you the first one who says give me your stuff you tell them know and he said if they try to take it DEFEND YOURSELF LIKE I TAUGHT YOU... I said dad what about detention he said look I know whats going on and its apparent the school cannot help this so if you get in trouble you wont have to do punishment for it this time. Next day I go to school feeling CONFIDENT IN myself like no fear my daddy said its ok to defend. Carried on with my usual day and who pops up these three the leader and his 2 followers smh. They surround me like well were is the gifts. I am still young so remember I let them see what I brought they laughed and tried to grab my stuff. next thing i knew what my dad said came into mind and i was excuse me WOOPING 1 OF THE FOLLOWERS ARSES not majorly we were only first graders but he did have a bloody nose, smh. Anyway after that me and the 1 follower were sent to detention for the day I went home with a note and dad lol smiled like yea me boy knows how to protect his. I felt releived because i didnt have to get on punishment, cool.... Next day I go to school and guess what he bullies were acten a lil friendly even talking to me but not with te ignorant tone they once posessed and it became clear I could take the leader position of the GROUP KIDS but instead I just spun off into my elementary world to ave fun w/o worring about them anymore. I woudl see tese cats daily because they road the same bus back to te jects. with me after school. And didnt live to many buildings away. Over te years I go tcool with the 2 following brothers why unfortunatly the leader was killed and found when we became teens in some woods behind the playground may he rest in peace. Anyway I felt it was a learning experience that had ups and downs. The downs were I had to inflict harm upon another to defend myself and it was a scary process up until my dad showed me the way VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, (because telling the principle or teacher only provides a small bit of protection until your out of their eye then its back to handle it on your own again as well as being marked as you know it a tattl tell ). The upside is I learned early how to defend myself which definetly came in handy as I developed into a teen and then young man. And it helped me to further stay on the path of a leader not a weak follower I am still thankfull for that.

Fast forward into middle school same young me always walking my won way stirring up the masses because I dont do what everyone else does lmao @ myself for that 1. Any way it was a little less stressful because I found the way early so dealing with me not following another was easy to do. (ANOTHER UP BENEFIT IN MY ADULT LIFE) But again causes the GROUP KIDS to attract and ask why dont HE do what we do . And after their observations they would approach slowly with fear because a natural leader scares the HELL lol outta some followers. And I noticed this and begian to act on it not in a negative way but in a way to more less say I am not scared of you AT ALL. Being in middle school we were a lil more mature but not alot. So the bullying seemed more like a poke from afar in their asect to remain safe. When I say from afar I mean not directly bullying but making fun of mabey my hair not being always cut to THEIR STANDARDS my clothes mabey not being to THEIR standards and I was a chubby kid or as Cartmen from south park says it big boneded lol THE LADIES LOVE ME KNOW um just sayen sometimes they would just pick on me outta plain ignorance but AGAIN always remained cautious as not to excuse me piss me off. And over time during my 6th grade year I began to overcome their petty ways and some even became cool friends with me. (once again oppurtunity to controll pack) and instead went along my middle school way WALKING MY OWN PATH tryen to get me some telephone girlfriends that I could talk to but never see but hey it was cool back then to have so many girlfriends even if you only met them from friends and had to imagine what each other looked like lmao again at my younger days funnnny.. The downs I experienced werent as bad because again in elementary school I had overcame the bullying already and was advancing in my ways of development and knew that most of the time the indivduals were behaving as bullies due to home related saddness or flat out bordem. The ups had allowed me to futher become a leader OF MY OWN PATH AND CONFIDENCE WAS RISING AS I BECAME AWARE THAT I WAS NOT A FOLLOWER AND IT STRENGTHENED ME TO KNOW THIS. I didnt have to deal with peer pressure to much because it was always like YAL DO WAT YAL WANNA DO AND IMMA DO ME, K. So each phase made me a sronger person as I grew seeming as if it was preparing me for adulthood.

Now up to highschool SMH. I though it was all over or would of been by then but nope. It came back even stronger because GANG BANGEN CAME TO THE CITY OF PITTSBURGH AND IT WAS HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I cannot stress how bad it was it was to the point it felt like cali fo real, people were getting shot for having getting of the city bus in the wrong hood with the wrong colors. I mean a little red - blue or black on a hat or shoes and it was a rap for real. And man when it hit the highschools it was like bullying 1010101 you feel me. I mean you either chose a side or getting in and out of PUBLIC school was not going to be fun. So bullying for me in highschool became more less intimidation from peers who were either bloods, crips or la.w.s smh it was not easy to get thru this step and I will admitt I fell into it DEEP for a while until I came upon crossroads that forced me to remember ARE YOU GONNA FOLLOW THEM ARE WALK YOUR OWN WAY even though walking your own way may get you killed so be prepared to defend yourself if you must. It got so bad in 9th grade I seen my first hand gun in the boys bathroom. this was an attempt at bullying me but I somehow made it through. I wen tinto the rest room and seen this one cat from a blood hood I was from a crip hood thats how you were labeled wether you like it or not if you were from somewhere you were labeled by peers and police IT WAS WHAT IT WAS. Anyway this dude pulles out a gun it was rust and all he said it was from being outside. He was showing it to me trying to read my intimidation meter and telling me about some war story I cannot remember as of now. I didnt get scared and began to reference all my childhood experiences. And got the courage to tell him in a nonchalant way wow thats cool but I gotta go. I guess since I didnt get afraid I was not marked as a scared person to him aso he didnt come my way again. The thing is going to the principle or teacher was out of the question becaus for 1 once I stepped of them school grounds I was on my own to defend and unless I had a gun to buss back I didnt want no probs with him at all nor did I want my name going around school as by this time some snitch or rat which would of singled me out more. I remember things in school being so bad that again in another class I was shown a gun AMAZING HOW MANY SCHOOL KIDS HAVE EM SMH. But this person was from one of the known killing hoods were its a high chance you step on their turf and get asked the MOST INSANE QUESTION "WERE ARE YOU FROM" SMMFH and you cannot relate or say you are from a relating hood ITS A RAP AND I MEAN WITH THE CORONERS OFFICE. So I already knew this cats mentality. More of his friends or gang came into this particular shop class and the whole class which was for half days in masonry an carpentry basically were followers. I woudld watch them sniff laquor thinner the teacher would waltz in see them and quickly waltz clean the HELL outta there and he would make his statment about our class responsibilities for the day and stay within his office SO THERE WS NO HELP THERE. PICTURE IT TEENS SNIFFING LAQUOR THINNER WITH GUNS smmfh again. Me I would see these fools lol at them and blend and do my work for the day as requested because my mother and father werent about the bad grades and I respected what they wanted of me over any of them followers. The noticed me not being part of the GROUP YOUNG ADULTS and begin to pick with me because by then moms and pops moved to the burbs outta the projects. SO my hood wasnt on the map as of then and I ws seen as a weakling the hood I grew up in was but i never felt the need to associate in that way to feel like I belonged. So they seen me as a burb kid and attempted to bully or intimidate. But now the intimidation was serious because I knew guns were involved and stupid minds. But I had to stay strong and lead my own path even though it seemed impossible. I managed to with some serious street upgrading and became me. Like ok if this is the way I must defend then I must learn how too. Remember in these situations the children and young adults feel THERE IS NOONE WHO CAN HELP THEM NOONE. And I think its like that because in reality we are getting closer to getting out on our own sorta like a mommy bird pushing her babies out the nest to fly for first time im sure thats scary as well for the baby birds. And we all gotta figure out how to stand on our own. The downs were I was always at risk if any one of these highschool bullies crossed me the ups are it taught me some serious survival technics mental and physical as to protect myself and my mind from being negativly influenced.

I wrote this because I feel bad for the youth still dealing with the bullying today and would ask ATS is there a way to prevent the youth from going thru this? And not just with metal detectors and scared on campus school police who didnt even have guns why the kids did. Or is this a part of social development to survive on your own and to adapt to the ill of life?

Thanks and I am sure your comments will be observed by many. See if we can help because it was hard for me.

I know its long but if you dont want to read it then I am sure you get my question can this issue be overcame?
I will check in on this please your best comments.

Great thread...i'll read it in full in a mo and comment after.

You may want to break up the long paragraphs in your thread though, i know many members will bypass it purely due to the huge block of text that makes your eyes fuzzy.

Hoe you don't mind me mentioning that.

CX.

Kids will pick on other kids. They always have and they always will.

The problem I see know is that kids are to sensitive. They no longer stand up for themselves and want others to do it for them. When I was a kid and somebody picked on me I punched them in the nose. Sometimes I took a beating and other times I gave the beating.

I never wrote about it in a journal or went crying about it to my parents. If I had then my dad would have put gloves on my hands and spent an hour or so teaching me the hard way on how to defend myself.

Kids these days are afraid to get hurt and that is a major problem.

I was bullied at first in school because of my nationality but it ended very quickly, the 80's in nyc was beyond rough.
Back then every parent would tell kids to fight back and you know what? It worked for us! Humble Pie will Humble a Bully if you know what i mean lol

reply to post by Becoming


you beat me to it! lol but it did work for you i assume?

reply to post by SantoJuJu


It worked, sometimes it took more then one altercation, but it worked.

I remember this one kid started to push me around. The first time it happened I took a major beating. After getting beating me down 4 times he got the point that if he was going to push me around, he might get the upper hand, but he was going to leave with a few bruises also. He left me alone after figuring that out.

I was glad too, I was getting tired of getting the crap kicked out of me.

Yes when you post large sections of thought,put a space between paragraphs,so we don't lose our place.

Some of us are old,but most members just speed read.

Well,I only know how to stop a bully.

Kick his butt in public.

It worked in school and it worked in the military.

Most males know this but never use it.

A good kick in the groin will buckle them over.

Then one good punch to the temple will knock them out.

I have trained my daughters to do that to defend themselves.

This politically correct crap the socialists have pushed does not work for these situations.

Sometimes one has to resort to animal behavior to stop this crap.

Originally posted by Oneolddude

Kick his butt in public.

It worked in school and it worked in the military.

I was the gay kid in my High School, and after being "bullied" (verbally and physically) for about a month, I started retaliating (physically and verbally). It's amazing how quickly the bullying stops once you embarrass the morons in front of their friends. The next 3 years of high school went by unprovoked. Was it because I was feared? Probably, I don't care, I'd rather be feared than bullied.... wait isn't that the bully mentality? What a vicious conundrum.

Behind every bully is another bully. It's unfortunate that bullying doesn't stop once a person leaves the educational system.

Well, you must consider if you fight back now-a-days both parties are arrested and sent to court. Even if they are young...I watched someone get pulled out of middle school with a pair of handcuffs on...the boy was in the 6th grade.

Even if one chooses not to fight back when they are getting pummeled...they would still get detained and have to go to court. In this sense the system could be easily manipulated by the bully to make the victim's life hell.

reply to post by Ophiuchus 13


It's all a matter of proper parenting.

It's truly the crux of the matter. Proper parents are involved and notice these things in their children and then do something about it. Whether it's going to the school or the child in questions parents, or disciplining your child if they are the bully.

Most parents are too occupied with their lives to really notice what is going on in their kids lives. Not enough oversight IMO.

But you'll never get kids to stop being mean to each other, that's just a part of growing up really. I mean that social environment of school allows a child to grow a thick skin, to not care about what others think and be happy with who they are.

It's a crash course in social studies really.

~Keeper

Wow so far some of the comments I have read are basically the children nust learn to defend themselves. I agree that this is truth, because parents cannot be with the children all times of the day and it helps the children with finding their independence.

I also agree that the parents and teachers need to pay a little closer attention to the group kids as to notice potential negative groups of children who may be more of a distraction to the target kids.

thanks so far and anymore input is welcome..

Sorry for the titangraph will keep that in mind.

I was bullied most of the way through secondary school, (High school) and it really deeply effected me for a long time, even now infact at 32 I still have some social problems because of it and it has coloured the way I view the world and people up until just recently when I finally went through some counselling and things.

As to why it happened to me, well for one I was a classic over intellectual "Nerd" child, quiet shy and also unfortunately a little chubby until I was about 15.
My brother and sister are both much older then me so I didn't interact with them much as a kid and I was kind of an only child in that respect, my parents bought me up to be rather too well mannered and tended to push me towards intellectual rather then physical pursuits

The school I attended was also a complete shark pit of psychos. I remember more then one teacher being reduced to tears by the kids, drugs being used, windows being smashed etc.
I ended up not attending most of secondary school but still managed to pass all of the exams with better marks then most of the school.

Strangely in the two years in-between school and university I had kind of a blossoming, lost all of my weight, grew to 6'5" and the same odd intellectual quietness that had made me such a target for bullies in school now made rather popular with a lot of the girls.at university.

All in all I guess I don't regret all the things that happened back then as they made me who I am now.

reply to post by davespanners


Thats what I mean davespanners, some of the processes that we go thru during our personal times away from parents and teachers and just around peers help to mold our adult lifestyles and decision making. Basically when having to face personal confrontations and figure them out it helps you along the way thru time with good decision making. Because many of the decesions have to be made early and personally by the youth. I feel this is one of the ups. The down side is that as children going thru that stuff feels like a living hell and is hard to endure. I to remember cutting certain classes because I didnt want to be bothered with the group kids and their activities and didnt want to be targeted and picked on. I guess its sorta like the alligator hatchlings being released into the wild and only the strongest can survive on their own through the drama of growing up to mature adult gators why many didnt over time...

Thanks for you input friend its well appreciated.

reply to post by Ophiuchus 13


Police and school teachers organised bullying against my life. So the peopel supposed to protect the peopel, are the ones doing it.

Police and teachers are just as much scum, as any other group of people.

So there is no way to protect people from it.

School bullying in my case was organised haressment to totally humilate me fact, and to get me to commit suicide. This was organised by teachers and police just as much as students.

So who is there to protect the victim, no one.

I think the main problem we have these days is that kids have no other choice but to sit there and take it. Administration doesn't want to hear it, and they'll get suspended or expelled if they stand up to the bullies. They don't have a right to basic self-defense.

And, let's be honest, if you stand up to certain people, you could very well be jumped after school by a gang of hoods and put in the hospital.