"What if there was nothing at all"-

Being young our minds were an open book a blank page on which experience writes our lifes story,
When I was a very young child I recall conversations with my little buddies - "What if there was nothing at all"- "What was there before the world existed" (Meaning the Universe we are in).
"Where was I before I was born" - "Where do we go when we die"
Well these sort of questions are profound and fundemental - from the mouth of babes (Children) comes forth wisdom.
These questions became a burning issue for me as I grew up and indeed still are. I mentally never joined the society I was born into or proscribed to the social norms as they fell short of what I felt inside.
At the age of about 4 or 5 I recall an overwhelming feeling and inner knowing that grown ups were asleep and also that this world could be the most beautful and magical place - It was an inner feeling I can only now describe as unconditional love that I felt for all life and indeed that this all encompassing love loved me knew me and cared about me.
Back then I did not have the words to describe what I felt and still words fall so very short of the wonderful experience of being alive.At this tender age I made a promise to myself never to forget this feeling.
No doubt if the inter net existed back then and I posted such a thing publicly I would face the ridicule and undermining that one does when one speaks ones truth.
Prove it they say - Where is your evidence - Oh it can be explained in psychological terms there are latin phrases to explain it - You are mentally ill - You can not have any understanding because you do not have an intellectual command of the English language.
But I see who you and your ways and step back for you speak out against your very soul.
Any with the courage to lift their heads out of the sands of a souless desert must face a barrage of hostility and mockery so most never do so.
My life long mission has been a search for truth and how do I know what is true - I feel it and I recogonise the feeling I had when a small child.
I remember walking along a quiet country lane with my father. My father's Mother my Grandma had just died. Dad never spoke of his sadness but I knew it because I felt it and at the same time whilst my child bright eyes gazed upon clouds passing over it hit me like a flash of lightening in the darkness - I turned to my Dad and said "This is all just a dream, one day we will wake up"
So my question is this - Can you remember thoughts/feelings you had as a child that you did not have the language to describe.
I am an open minded person with a deep inner understanding of those questions I had which were answered - Answered by way of feelings dream self searching and self proof.
We all have our own unique story to tell - What is yours I wonder.
Like Dylan said ".....and I will know my song well before I start singing

When I was younger, I had this friend who was, shall we say, very eccentric. And when we were playing games (Nintendo 64 FTW) he'd say "Y'know, the game world behind you doesn't excist when you're not looking at it". Back then I ignored him and carried on playing Mario
But thinking about it later on down the line, I realised what he was saying. Does a place in a game that isn't on the screen you're looking at excist? When you walk past something in a game, does it just dissapear from excistence when it's no longer on the screen... I still can't get my head around it, because technically it's right... or technically it's wrong. I mean, it's above and beyond me, but I never and still don't understand the theory behind it...

I'm a solipsist, or at least very much so when I was growing up. I identified my inner voice at age 6 and became "aware". I thought everything in the world was fake, including family members and friends- I was the only "real" person. I felt that the universe was tailored for me, and I felt like I was at the center of it. Considering being born so close to this 2012 phenomenon I begin to scratch my head over why was I born so close to this date? To experience supposedly one of the greatest "events" in mankind's history (or so we are lead to believe). Why was I born now, and not in the past? It almost feels like destiny, not that I am going to play a role in it all, but that it couldn't be any other way. I've often felt that if I was to be harvested in some sort of cataclysmic event, it gives a more profound meaning to my childhood....

Yes, I remember simply feeling as if I didn't belong. Sometimes I would imagine that my mother adopted me and that my "real" family were intellectuals who enjoyed dabbling in the metaphysical, paranormal and so on. Of course I didn't know those words when I was that young, but I know them know and I have grown into a person who is (in my own mind at least) intellectual, spiritual and extremely open minded!

I remember when I was a very young child, if I got hurt or I was afraid, I would cry and say "I want to go home". My mother never understood that, considering we were at home most of the time !!

My mother was very active in the Evangelical Church when I was growing up and I was in the church's youth group for about a year. I asked questions out of sheer curiosity, questions about other religions and why "our" God would condemn a Buddist Monk to hell for all eternity simply because he didn't believe what we believed. Another one that really shook them up was aliens. I have always believed that E.T. life is completely possible and even plausible. I asked alot of questions and it disturbed the youth group leaders so much that I was actually sent to talk with the pastor several times. Eventually they told me, very pollitely, that I was interfering with the spiritual growth of my peers and maybe I should seek answers outside of their youth group.

So, I too have never quite felt like I fit in or fulfilled all of societies expectations for "normal" behavior. My oldest son is very much like me, it is only one month into the new school year in a new district and they are already *hinting* that he may have ADHD and need medication!! !! My answer to that is; HELL NO!

Originally posted by vanhippi
When I was younger, I had this friend who was, shall we say, very eccentric. And when we were playing games (Nintendo 64 FTW) he'd say "Y'know, the game world behind you doesn't excist when you're not looking at it". Back then I ignored him and carried on playing Mario

But thinking about it later on down the line, I realised what he was saying. Does a place in a game that isn't on the screen you're looking at excist? When you walk past something in a game, does it just dissapear from excistence when it's no longer on the screen... I still can't get my head around it, because technically it's right... or technically it's wrong. I mean, it's above and beyond me, but I never and still don't understand the theory behind it...

Love it - very cool and thought provoking.
I know the world we live in is a neccesary illusion - Our senses are limited yet we feel there is more to the picture than meets the eye.
We sort of understand that the Universe we percieve is only 10 or so per cent of all that actually is.
This life is sort of like the game you describe in that - We put on the headset gaze at the screen and partake in the illusion - Yet when we leave this mortal coil and head back home the illusion is broken and we remember that in reality we are all magnificent beautiful and knowing beings that can manipulate the substances around us in the way of harmony.
The illusion of confinement to a mortal body is so that we can inter act with the substances around us - In a way all is substance in different states of refinement - this includes one's soul. Thought is the most refined substance in the Universe - Thought governs the Universe and we are all thought beings in reality

Originally posted by The Endtime Warrior
I'm a solipsist, or at least very much so when I was growing up. I identified my inner voice at age 6 and became "aware". I thought everything in the world was fake, including family members and friends- I was the only "real" person. I felt that the universe was tailored for me, and I felt like I was at the center of it. Considering being born so close to this 2012 phenomenon I begin to scratch my head over why was I born so close to this date? To experience supposedly one of the greatest "events" in mankind's history (or so we are lead to believe). Why was I born now, and not in the past? It almost feels like destiny, not that I am going to play a role in it all, but that it couldn't be any other way. I've often felt that if I was to be harvested in some sort of cataclysmic event, it gives a more profound meaning to my childhood....

I had to look up the term Solipsist - what a great example of what I too have felt.
I can understand this in my own simple way - If we are indeed all part of the One and within that one we are individual souls and projections of the one then it makes perfect sense and is a good way of understanding the Golden rule of doing unto others as you would have done to your self.
Yes I too feel this is a very special time for all on the Earth - all living beings - we are all in this together.
The term Harevest - I first heard this term from Hidden_Hand who claimed to be an inner member of the Illuminati or was it Luciferian - He painted a sorry picture of what is occuring but all he spoke of was indoctrinated into him from birth - I do not recall him ever speaking about his own inner feelings apart from when he found himself actually liking the folk on ATS - but there again those around him (his family) mocked him and though it seemed good hearted it was a way of keeping him in the prison of his indoctrinations -He Joked that he would have to do bad things to compensate for his compassion - I felt sorry for him as he was trapped by his pre set indoctrinations.
I am no doom monger but do understand that the times to come will be very difficult - This is our challengs - To stay focused and not lose sight of the love inside for this love is the catalyst for a wonderful change and new begining.
All I can say is that if one is as prepared as one can be then when difficulty arrives on mass then one may be in a position to offer practical help to those less fortunate.
I think we will see both terrible and wonderful things occur - Even the elite controllers will break ranks and some will have a change a heart and serve in a positive way.
I learnt of many of these things 35 years ago as i was lead to ones who transformed my life through simple explanation that reverberated with me and it felt like things just fell into place.
One day we will all die but in reality there is no death merely a change of location to a better place.
We are imortal souls in a mortal body this is the duality of our nature.

Originally posted by IrishCream
Yes, I remember simply feeling as if I didn't belong. Sometimes I would imagine that my mother adopted me and that my "real" family were intellectuals who enjoyed dabbling in the metaphysical, paranormal and so on. Of course I didn't know those words when I was that young, but I know them know and I have grown into a person who is (in my own mind at least) intellectual, spiritual and extremely open minded!

I remember when I was a very young child, if I got hurt or I was afraid, I would cry and say "I want to go home". My mother never understood that, considering we were at home most of the time

!!

My mother was very active in the Evangelical Church when I was growing up and I was in the church's youth group for about a year. I asked questions out of sheer curiosity, questions about other religions and why "our" God would condemn a Buddist Monk to hell for all eternity simply because he didn't believe what we believed. Another one that really shook them up was aliens. I have always believed that E.T. life is completely possible and even plausible. I asked alot of questions and it disturbed the youth group leaders so much that I was actually sent to talk with the pastor several times. Eventually they told me, very pollitely, that I was interfering with the spiritual growth of my peers and maybe I should seek answers outside of their youth group.

So, I too have never quite felt like I fit in or fulfilled all of societies expectations for "normal" behavior. My oldest son is very much like me, it is only one month into the new school year in a new district and they are already *hinting* that he may have ADHD and need medication!!

!! My answer to that is; HELL NO!

I can empathise with you the child that asked provocotive questions out of a sense of curiosity - I too got into trouble during Religous education lessons - I attended a Church of England school. I got in trouble also because I laughed aloud at some things the teacher said.
I remeber reading a very etertaining book of a lady who recalled several past lifes and the characters she was amonst often changed roles on re incarnating - She used to say My Mother is not my Mother and my Father is not my Father -- A bit ike the wonderful film called What Dreams may Come when Robin Williams meets some one he knew on Earth even though on the other side the person was completely different in appearance - He knew him from how he felt.
I believe in Aliens but not the bug eyed and other types - I think the hand of Man is at play in Alien conspiricy storys and that there is a reason why this is done. I believe there are many aliens walking amongst us and some of them are us but do not know they are.

reply to post by artistpoet


I also should clarify, I don't claim that anything cataclysmic will happen in 2012. I just happened to read another thread that was talking about it and then stumbled upon your thread and the thoughts just sort of mixed. Thanks for your thoughts.

Originally posted by The Endtime Warrior
reply to post by artistpoet

 

I also should clarify, I don't claim that anything cataclysmic will happen in 2012. I just happened to read another thread that was talking about it and then stumbled upon your thread and the thoughts just sort of mixed. Thanks for your thoughts.

Yes I agree with you in that 2012 is actually only a date that is the end of an epoch in the processional cycle of the Sun and other stars. However changes are afoot but the light s wont all go out in 2012 - I do feel it prudent to be as aware as possible and be prepared for changes to come.
2012 is the Mayan calender 21st Dec 2012 - Funnily enough the 21st of Dec is called "The Nameless Day" in the Celtic Calender - This particular date marks the end of the Piscean Age and the start of the age of Aquarius which means the Sun is seen to rise against that constellations background.
There is a little known prophesy for this time which is many thousands of years old - It is a Celtic prophesy which says - At this time there will be great changes and upheavels of the Earth - After two hundred years there will no longer be any Queens or Kings or Priests and a golden age lasting a 1000 years will follow - sounds a nice idea to me

reply to post by artistpoet


Yes, I had many feelings as a child I could not describe, people would think I was crazy.

I would often see places in my head I have never been, and feel a select feeling that went along with it, the feeling had no description but each place had it's feeling.

I started lucid dreaming at 3 years old, and could control all my dreams at 3.

I would sometimes look around and truly not feel what I was looking at or where I was as reality (my dreams felt more real), everything was an illusion and I'd jump right out of my body and float around, everybody around me would freak out, as I'd turn pale and become stiff as a board with my eyes transfixed in one direction. In my head however the people around me did not exist, and I would float aimlessly above them.

Originally posted by Thibotham
reply to post by artistpoet

 

Yes, I had many feelings as a child I could not describe, people would think I was crazy.

I would often see places in my head I have never been, and feel a select feeling that went along with it, the feeling had no description but each place had it's feeling.

I started lucid dreaming at 3 years old, and could control all my dreams at 3.

I would sometimes look around and truly not feel what I was looking at or where I was as reality (my dreams felt more real), everything was an illusion and I'd jump right out of my body and float around, everybody around me would freak out, as I'd turn pale and become stiff as a board with my eyes transfixed in one direction. In my head however the people around me did not exist, and I would float aimlessly above them.

edit on 27-9-2010 by Thibotham because: (no reason given)

Hey - That is fascinating - From a young age I too have had many dreams which came to pass in so called waking life. This made me aware that there is more at play that meets the eye.
However it was at a much older age that I realised I became aware in dreams - I was layed beside my girlfriend back then and fell into dream - In the dream I suddenly realised I was dreaming but it all felt super real - like you say more real than waking life - In the dream I kept thinking Wow this is amazing and I walked down the street outside my Girl friends though the street did not look quite the same as waking life anyhows I felt so excited as I climbed the stairs to her bedroom and thought wait till I tell Michelle this - I opened the door and saw my body asleep next to her and felt myself suddenly fall into my body awakening in the same instant - I nudged Michelle and excitedly told her what had just happened - She looked at me through sleepy eyes as if I was completely mad and turned over back to sleep ha ha - But yes it as real as waking life.
Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and feelings it actually makes me feel less alone and more inspired

Originally posted by IrishCream
I remember when I was a very young child, if I got hurt or I was afraid, I would cry and say "I want to go home". My mother never understood that, considering we were at home most of the time

!!

I don't remember much of my childhood so I don't remember if I ever said/thought it then, but I've said exactly this to myself many times, especially during my tumultuous teenage years.

Originally posted by IrishCream
My oldest son is very much like me, it is only one month into the new school year in a new district and they are already *hinting* that he may have ADHD and need medication!!

!! My answer to that is; HELL NO!

Good answer.

reply to post by elliotmtl


Yes - NO NO NO is the answer.
When I was at school (1950s) I was slapped about for daydreaming ie not listening to the thoughts of another put upon me

reply to post by artistpoet


I honestly don't understand how anyone can do that to a young child - attempt to repress their behavior either chemically or through physical violence - as if the free spirit and open mind of a child isn't beautiful and wonderful even when it's sometimes causing 'trouble.' I've worked with children in a church setting and I was awful at it (from the adults perspective) because I simply couldn't bring myself to attempt to discipline them, because I was enjoying their "misbehavior" too much...and because I remember too well what it was like to be one of them, so how can I repress them when I know how bad it feels to be repressed?

reply to post by artistpoet


You are not alone.

Many children have crazy experiences but simply forget them as they get older and become consumed with regular mundane life.

They become too busy with making money and forging relationships they often forget these things until they become much older and slow down once again and do some "soul searching" as they say.

Thanks for your great comments and observations.
Bieng slapped about as a child only served to strenghten my belief that grown ups are asleep.
My older brother was more overtly a rebel and a great suport to me.
He David exelled at school one term- and in a class of 40 got top marks and and positioned No1 in overall end of term exams. He was of course teachers pet but did not fall for it so to speak. The next term he befriended a lad who was considered dumb and bottom of the class and ridiculed- David purposely decided to make a point - In the next terms exams he came bottom out of his class of 40 .
As kids we laughed about it - but the headmasters response was to send David for Psychiatric examination - I remember the day well when he came home form the pschiatrist - We had such a laugh when he described the exam -
Aparently the Psychiatrist thought he had anger issues placing a table tennis ball at Davids feet and saying "I want you to kick this ball really hard as hard as you can"
David said he thought the Pschiatrist was nuts and after more persuasion obliged in a manic play acting fashion. He was sorta left alone after that as my parents intervened and brought him home.

That story about your older brother is quite inspiring. I love it when children refuse to play by the adults' rules.

Originally posted by elliotmtl
That story about your older brother is quite inspiring. I love it when children refuse to play by the adults' rules.

Yes I am fortunate to have good brothers.
My younger brother Richard was always a mischief maker.
Richard went into his own business and got very lucrative work via the local City Council - I remeber him telling me how bent up the system for handing out contracts is -
Back hand payments of cash were the done thing.
One day an official offered him work in one of thier elderly tennets homes saying that he (The Council Official) wanted a back hander for the work An agreed payment was agreed.
However on completion of the work Richard told the bent up official to go to hell and went round to the Old ladys home and handed her a wad of cash saying that this was the amount of money that the council official had wanted to rob by using her.
The official could say nothing and though Richard did get more work from them he eventually was pushed out by less scrupulous ones who fell for the bribe.

reply to post by artistpoet


Quite brilliant.
Hopefully he found a worthy career somewhere else...

I also believe that children should not be repressed, even if only because it is the ONLY time in our life when we are allowed (to an extent) to truly be ourselves and explore the magic of living this human experience. After you reach adulthood their are sooo very many "responsibilities" that distract you from the wonder and majesty of life!! I try desperately to find one unique thing to look at or experience each day. Sometimes this works out so well I almost feel as if I willed the experience into being. then other times, well let's just say I let life's little bumps slow me down.

My oldest son is extremely bright, but it is not necessarily "book smarts" or "street smarts" that is has, it truly is like a Universal Awareness that is rare these days! He refuses to be held to a standard and he likewise does not hold anyone else to a particular standard. He is an artist who can create the most stunning images from simple paper and pencil! His subject matter has always been on the darker side, but he is the yin to my yang. He started drawing at the age of two and it was mostly dinosaurs eating people and animals or "monsters" destroying towns while people ran screaming. Some people were very put off by the images, but I saw beyond the subject and gazed into the details! Even at two he had hair on people's heads, scales on monsters and even bricks in buildings. He was going beyond mere observation, he was delving deeply into the human subconscious. He has always gotten a good laugh out of scaring people, but when you get right down to it, he would never hurt a fly. He even takes spiders outside instead of killing them. His fascination, I've learned more recently, is the origin of human fear. He says that everything people do is based on avoiding the things that scare them! In other words; you go to work so you can avoid starvation, homelessness or even being ridiculed (due to not following societal "norms"). You subscribe to a religion so to avoid God's wrath or going to hell. I mean he really can go on and on about how many things we do simply out of fear, it's amazing to me.

Of course, he is seen as a threat to many and others want to put him on some medication in order to make him "walk the line"! His peers think he is weird because he dares to be different and refuses to follow the latest trends. He inspires me daily to step out of the box and just watch the others who keep running on the wheel.

I am glad to have found a community of like minded people where I can feel comfortable (for the most part) being me and sharing my son's eccentricity. I do have two other children and I don't want anyone to think I am excluding them, it's just that they are far more prone to join the "in-crowd" and to do as they see instead of what they wish. Maybe there is something to that?! Maybe there is only a certain percentage of people who are born "aware" or can become more aware? I have faith that they will find their way to awareness as we move on through this age, soon no one will have a choice, I think anyway.

Ok, that's all for now, this post has gotten rather lengthy, apologies!