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How to start your own cult starter kit

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posted on Aug, 18 2010 @ 09:28 AM
As many as you fellow ATS users will know, finding “the truth” is quite exhaustive and is neither good for your social integration nor for your overall appearance. I just read a thread about “how seeking the truth is making me sick” and have noticed many similar threads in the last weeks. So since we all seem to be sick of chasing ghosts and discovering that we have been BS’ed by hoaxers again and again, I started asking myself what else to do.

One obvious path to pursue other than constantly debunking hoaxes is making up your own hoaxes. The problem seems to be that making up your own BS only works when you have the right support structure that is able to peddle your hoaxes to a wider audience. And for such purposes, as you will surely agree, having one’s own cult is especially suited.

Anyone who has delved down this alley of thinking will be familiar with the following video. Anyone just now discovering his own delusions of grandeur while reading this thread is strongly advised to watch the following video which is a classic at ATS and is linked to in many threads.

Now as good as this video is as a basic manual for starting your own cult it leaves many questions open. But it seems this problem has been solved by now through the important contributions of Dr. Emeril Lazarus. He has written a more comprehensive and thorough manual concerned with how one should best create his own cult. His website can be found at:

I’m just going to randomly quote some of the best advice he has:

Concerning Scapegoats:

Despite your best-laid plans and your pure intentions, sooner or later someone in your "organization" is going to make a mistake. Perhaps one of your Devotees will lash out at one of the Uncommitted for not buying their (your) flower or pencil, perhaps the government will question your tax-free status, or perhaps you'll pick the silver Rolls instead of a more discrete and classy gray. Whatever the error, you now find yourself facing uncomfortable questions and bad feelings.
I recommend you to be bold! In front of your entire cult denounce her as the Instrument of Satan, or better yet, have her denounce herself. Strip her of her status as a Member of the Knower’s of the True Way, and kick her crying and pleading for mercy out of the compound. Instruct your now-frightened flock that even touching the Unclean Hordes that surround your Gates of the New Jerusalem (the compound) can lead to impurities of the mind and body. Hold the now untouchable former member as an example of one who fell into Temptation. Thus, your flock is reinvigorated in its zeal for Clean Thoughts and Deeds.

Concerning recruitment:

As your recruiters comb the streets and alleys, the bars and pool halls, they should keep a cheery disposition. They, as the front-line Representatives of You, must be squeeky clean and project the Aura of Infinite Love your group is (or will be) known for. Make sure their clothes are clean, their teeth brushed and their hair neatly combed. A good idea is for them to have an unofficial uniform, like new T-shirts, jeans and black high-top runners. Casual looks better and is less intimidating to Potential Recruits than a stuffy suit or a smelly orange-dyed burlap sack. After several years of experimenting with my cult's recruiting team I found that white T-shirts work better than darker colours--people are naturally attracted to the Light.

Concerning the maintenance of morale:

The first thing is for them to live with you in your compound. You are all one Family now. Your Special Mission demands Pure Living, and that can only happen if everyone is in close proximity to you, the Purifier. When I first started my cult I often insisted on everyone sleeping in the same room. It encouraged a warm fuzzy "pajama party" atmosphere, and reduced individual isolationist tendencies.
Since you and your cult are now their Family, members don't need to see their former family. Ex-spouses, parents and sometimes even children are sometimes not very understanding of members who have seen the Truth, and may try to convince them they have made a mistake. It can take a very strong mind, and much re-education, for a member to see how Lucifer has influenced even those close to him or her, and they may be inclined to believe those they used to be close to. I would refuse categorically to allow members to attend family events such as marriages, sick relatives, graduations, and what-not.
Have everyone sit in your Meeting Hall and invite a member up to the front with you. Ask him or her to tell their shortcomings of the past week. By confessing they will purify themselves. The member will be hesitant to look like a fool and so will find a few doubts or base thoughts they had. They may have doubted your Teachings for a few moments, or perhaps they were sexually attracted to someone. The trick is to meet each confession with both Praise and Love for coming clean, and also with disapproval for allowing Satan to still Sit in their Soul. Properly done, and with a bit of practice, your members will spontaneously begin to cry and weep as they realize the sheer magnitude of their hideous sins and how much they still have to Travel to improve themselves.

So if you’re ever tired of "seeking the truth", make up your own – but do it the right way.

This thread and the links contained therein provide you with all the knowledge you could possibly need for such a task.
If successful please report back and make sure to grant me some kind of special privileges (without becoming a member, of course)….Enjoy!

[edit on 18-8-2010 by NichirasuKenshin]

posted on Aug, 20 2010 @ 07:51 AM
Either ATS is more mentally stable as a group than I expected, or there's tons of people who saw this thread and - instead of commenting - went out to start their own cult.

[edit on 20-8-2010 by NichirasuKenshin]

posted on Aug, 20 2010 @ 08:55 AM
yeah thats what i want to do start a cult and hang out with a bunch of crazies all the time. but at least they are paying.

posted on Aug, 20 2010 @ 08:57 AM

Originally posted by NichirasuKenshin
Either ATS is more mentally stable as a group than I expected, or there's tons of people who saw this thread and - instead of commenting - went out to start their own cult.

Be right back, I'm heading out to do some recruiting.

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