A follow up from a previous thread

This is a follow up to my thread "Should I go with my master plan?"
The woman who I've been curious about is starting to be what I've been praying for in my life. Yes I pray when I'm depressed. We have a lot in common and she want's to have a family. You can't ask for more then her in life. I know she is in prison but I shouldn't hold that against her forever she shouldn't either. I'm looking for advice as to what I can do to become the one for her and she can become the one for me.

Same advice friend.

1. You only know her from correspondence....this can be WAY different than the actual person.

2. For all you know, you are only one of many "options" she is corresponding with outside the walls, in hopes of having a place to go (and yes, chances are, she'd tell you exactly what you want to hear)...

3. You'll have many years before you'd possibly be with her anyhow, and in that time, you'll likely meet several other potentials, so why limit yourself to an "idea"...???

I'm not really worried though, I'm sure your future experience in the service, will introduce you to many fun gals that will get your blood going...so you'll do the right thing anyhow...

Originally posted by Romantic_Rebel
I'm looking for advice as to what I can do to become the one for her and she can become the one for me.

This is your problem, and I don't mean that in a bad way at all.

When you find someone that accepts you for who you are, and you accept them for who they are, then life becomes magical. There is no reason to change yourself in any way, just be yourself, and then, if you get together, life is wonderful.

Sure you can change how you do laundry, or do dishes, or something similar, but the "real you" should never be hidden, or forced to change just to be with someone.

Just be yourself and see where it all leads.



[edit on 8/3/2010 by tribewilder]

Gurrr looks like I'm getting ahead of myself again! I always do that! Why? I agree she is most likely telling me what I want to hear. Non the less she is fun writing too. I just need to keep telling myself she will only be a friend.

reply to post by Romantic_Rebel


Seriously you need to seek some professional help. I am not trying to be harsh here not in the least but to me it is very obvious you have some selfimage issues that need to be addressed.

Yes it is a good thing to overlook someones flaws especially those who have found them selves in criminal trouble. Everyone makes mistakes and we can never be certain we wouldn't have done the same thing in that situation. You must understand that this woman is a prison inmate, she is living in a world that is controlled and monitored 24/7. The only thing she has to do with her day morning noon and night is think about and evaluate what options she has when she gets out.

She will likely not have a job or any income upon her release, so that is one thing that she has to be considering when she writes to you. Anyone can say that they see the error of their ways in the hope of manipulating others into giving what they want.

At this point I will tell you about a friend of mine. Nice girl young and foolish somehow ends up writing to a friend of one of her friends in prison. Of course it is all a cops fault he is there he didnt do anything wrong. He is due to get out in probably 3-4 months after she starts writing him. I told her don't bank on this guy he is gonna use you for a free ride. She chose not to listen, hey you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink it. So he gets out everything is all great he has a job lined up for when he gets out and everything. He works the job for a week runs up her cell bill runs up her credit and then ditches her after 5-6 months. It takes her a little bit of doing but the damage he did wasn't that bad she gets a bit caught up. He finds out and come back after 2-3 months to rack it all up some more.

Luckily after about a month after he comes back the second time he ends up pissing dirty and ends up locked up for another 6 months. This is the mentality of the people you are trying to deal with. They do not care what they do to you or will do to you. They are out of prison and out to have a good time its like living in a strict household and as soon as your parents go out of town its time to throw a party. You know its a bad idea, but you cant help but do it anyway.