Love does not exist

Thats why your all better being alone, and you know it.

1. Love begins with a physical attraction that defies all laws of science and social norms. Only you alone know why you are attracted to her. Sometimes it is superficial, but for true love, it defies any easy explanation.


2. Love is when you hold her hands the first time, and watch that sparkle light up in her/his eyes and the sunny smile that is only reserved for you alone.


3. Love is when you hold her/him close to your heart, and share the day's joys and woes together, feeling the warmth that can only exist between you two alone as one, finding comfort and solace in each other in this crazy world..


4. Love is the rapture as you share that special intimate moment alone, not with greed, but with mutual satisfaction as you climax in each other's loving embrace.


5. Love is the joys unbound as you hear your child's first cry, as you gather all together, a joy only you and your loved one can ever know.


6. Love is the trials you go through life, through its ups and downs, and never forgetting each other, the sacrifices and the efforts to make the union work, even though you are far away from each other.

That one night stand may be fun, but in the end, it hurts more than the joys you presumed it will bring, resulting in a guilt that can only be washed away as you realize how much precious a love of years is compared to a one night fling.


7. Love is the happiness you find in each other, as you teeth drops and hair turns grey or bald, bodies go out of shape and yet remembering each other as each was once were, going beyond the physical as you find comfort in the inner core, holding hands and toasting red wine in sunset beaches.


8. Love is the sorrow you feel as you crumble before the coffin of the one who leaves first, in the face of the crowd in the wake, and cry unashamedly as a young child would, without a care, knowing that you, for once will be left alone, so alone.....till your time to rejoin the cosmos and give up that precious gift of life bestowed......


This is love. A special gift from our Creator with our other gifts of life and free will. To know life and love, and the comfort, solace and joys it brings. Just as He had showered His love upon us.

For to give such gift, He would not have been able to create something out of something that does not exists within Him.

Just as our love for our loved one is boundless, so too is His love towards equally or more boundless. And yet, we disappoint Him continually with our misuse of free will.

And yet He still loved us and had sent numerous divine teachers to guide us away from sorrow and pain that we seemed hellbent on travelling.

Love exists. It is within you. And it is divine, once you go beyond the superficial....

I'm sure there are peoiple who can say that and be correct to some extent.
If I were to make a statement like that? Most of the people I know would
think I need help. Mental.
Therefore I strongly disagree cause otherwise, I might get locked up.

Also
I have said it over and over," an Atheist claims there is no God but he can't ever stop there. This is a first though. Never heard anyone say love does not exist.

Love is very simply, caring for someone or even something else, more than you care about yourself.

[edit on 22-6-2010 by randyvs]

Love exists! People have become so selfish that love has a hard time taking hold and grow. When it's all about you, it isn't love.

As long as you don't know what it is, you won't find fulfillment.
People can fill their lives with material BS, but their lives are still hollow.

It might be just "chemical reactions" but so is everything. With that logic, human beings are just meatbags. Or flesh robots. It depends how you look at it.

[edit on 22/6/2010 by Tryptych]

Love exists and it exists in many different forms.
It will find you as long as you remain open to it.

Hello - I hope that some of these responses above will give you hope that LOVE does exist!

The problem in America began during the "sexual revolution". Because of the pill and other "precautions", all of a sudden it was OK to have sex however and whenever you wanted. The feminists took this and ran it into the ground. Why not have sex with no worries about the results? And if contraceptive did not work, well there was always the option of "killing it before it grows" - abortion.

When I was a young adult woman, I treated sex pretty casually - why not?
But then along came Herpes. The first incurable STD. That scared me enough to stop behaving that way. Also, there were only a handful of STD's at that time.
How many are there now? Hundreds, and a lot of them are incurable and can harm you and even kill you. That is taking a pretty big risk.
All of this is Nature telling us that monogamy is clearly the way to go. There is no such thing as safe sex. Condoms are made to stop sperm cells from getting through. And sperm cells are a million times bigger then a virus (AIDS)!

The feminists ruined the family because it allowed the men to play - and the women to pay.

[edit on 22-6-2010 by Starbug3MY]

[edit on 22-6-2010 by Starbug3MY]

www.pbs.org...

Love is, for better or worse, pretty much just a chain of chemical reactions meant to induce bonding and mating.

Unfortunately, we humans have a tendency to ascribe it supernatural or spiritual qualities when its roots are all too mundane.

And I'd like to add, in response to Starbug3MY, that STDs aren't nature endorsing monogamy. STDs result because being transmitted through sexual acts makes a lot of sense for these microorganisms. So many animals are having sex, why not be transmitted via that? It'd be a pretty easy way to travel and reproduce. So you can thank evolutionary biology for STDs, not nature trying to warn us about sex.

[edit on 22/6/10 by Sink the Bismarck!]

reply to post by Sink the Bismarck!


All your feelings are "chemical reactions". You can say that colors are frequencies, but it doesn't give you any insight how they look like.

Also, what do you mean by "love"? It might just not be only between human beings, and has nothing to do with sex.

reply to post by empireofpain

How is that not love? that i dont want her to have sex
with dozens of different men? that i dont want to share her?

It is not love in the same way that pizza is not a color and walking isn't a sound.

They're different things.

Possession is fine. Love is fine. But they're not the same thing.

I want a monogamous relationship......having sexual
intercourse with multiple people is not monogamy.

And again, that's perfectly ok. But sex is not love, love is not sex, and marital fidelity is neither love nor sex. They're different things. They may happen to coexist with one another, but that doesn't make them the same thing.

You can love people you don't have sex with, and you can have sex with people you don't love. There's no relation between these things.

Whats YOUR definition of love?

Knowing combined with acceptance. Love is awareness of a perceived "other" with zero resistence between yourself and the other, and zero desire to change them.

Clarified below.

Maybe i wrote the wrong words by saying 'mutual ownership'
but is that not what monogamy is?

No.

Monogamy is a state of exclusivity. For example, if you have sex with only one individual, you have a monogamous sexual relationship with them. If you are married to one person only, you have a monogamous marriage. Mutual ownership is two people who each allow the other to decide for them. Mutual ownership could exist without sex. If two people agree to "obey" one another, but they happen to not have any desire for sex, they can own each other without sex. And monogamy can exist without mutual ownership. For example, two people agree to have sex only with each other, but in other ways they each do their own thing. One does not speak for the other, and neither obeys or submits to the other. There's no possession. They simply only have sex with each other, just like if you eat only oranges, oranges don't "own" you.

Mutual ownership and monogamy may happen to coexist, but they are nevertheless, different things.

Just because you're in a library doesn't mean you're reading a book. Just because you're reading a book doesn't mean you're in a library. One does not imply the other. Love, sex, fidelity, posession...these are all different things. They may coexist, but none of them are necessary for the others to exist.

I REALLY want to know what your idea of love is.
I wait barely holding in my excitement.

Let's start by identifying what love is not. imagine a married couple. The woman insists she loves the man, and the man doesn't care, sleeps around and beats her. The womans friends advise her to leave him, but she doesn't believe he cheats on her.

Does she love him? No.

She may be in love with who she thinks he is. But she is not in love with him. She's in love with a delusion. A fantasy that she associates with him. Not him.

Love requires knowing.

Now imagine the same scenario, but the woman does realize he cheats on her, so she demands that he stop.

Does she love him? No.

She simply wants something from him. She is attempting to have a certain type of relationship with him, and apparently that isn't the relationship he wants to have with her, so she is attempting to change him. Trying to get him to give her want she wants to receive rather than what he wants to give.

Love requires acceptance.

Now let's take a third scenario. Imagine a man sitting on a parkbench. He is tearing up bread and tossing it to the birds, taking pleasure in their chirping. Along comes a cat who kills one of the birds, deposits the corpse at the mans feet and rubs against him for attention. The man cries for the death of the bird, but picks up the cat and pets him.

Does the man love the cat? Yes.

Why? Because he knows what the cat is and accepts it. That is what love is. Knowing someone or something and accepting them unconditionally. To love someone you must know them and accept them for who and what they are.

Love is not about demands. Love is not about possession. Love is not about what somebody does for you.

It is awareness and acceptance.


[edit on 23-6-2010 by LordBucket]

reply to post by heineken

if love does not exists y i am in pain?

Because you want something you don't have. That is desire, not love.

And perhaps you've come to believe that some particular someone is a potential source for the fulfillment of your desire. And then discovered that they weren't. So you felt you were close to realization of your desire and then had it snatched away from you.

This is also not love. It is simply your unfulfilled desire being rubbed in your face.





[edit on 23-6-2010 by LordBucket]

If you were very determined, you could argue that nothing exists. I think you are referring to the "old-fashioned love" that is somewhat missing in modern times. I view marriage as a metaphysical prison. Maybe my mind will change when I meet the right person, but I doubt it. We don't know what the future holds, who we will meet, what opportunities will arise. These days it seems like the potential negatives outweigh the potential positives of getting married. I also agree with other posters that marriage does not equal love. Again I believe you are pointing to the old-fashioned kind of love.

I think we sometimes confuse love with lust. Do I love her because she is attractive, or do I find her attractive because I love her? The line is often blurry.

[edit on 23/6/2010 by Dark Ghost]

Marriage is an artificial construct.

Many people get MARRIED for all the wrong reasons, upholding a whole myriad of stupid things as being valuable traits. When it becomes apparent that they made a miscalculation, they realize what was true all along. That they, and that particular person, were not meant to be.

This, coupled with a massive media insurgency which constantly attacks our values and systems of deduction, tempting us with all sorts of ridiculous antics; leads to a very hostile environment for a rich bond.


-----
I'm an existentialist, and as such, I know that there are no true constructs other than what I really believe to be true. Love is something I admire, I think it is beautiful and wonderful, and so I shall have it.
-----

Science merely sees chemical reactions, and based solely on this, science suggests that love is merely that and nothing else. Anything else is for the simpleton.

A credit to the same people that claim something is true one moment, and laugh at you for not believing, then find out they were wrong and go to something else.

When I was in school: atoms were solid little billiard balls that make up everything we see, Pluto was a planet, and Christopher Columbus discovered America.

If you didn't believe that, you were stupid. You didn't comprehend. You were laughed at for being a dimwit.

Now? Christopher Columbus was not the first. This is, of course, excluding the natives. There were others, from other countries that came here first. Pluto? Not considered a planet anymore. Atoms? Not considered solid, they're condensed wavelengths.

Lol, what? But entire generations were raised on these facts.



-----
Point is, science says a lot of things. Statistics mean nothing to the individual. In reality, 99% chance = 50% chance. How so? Because you either get it, or you don't. At the end of the day, you either have it, or you don't.

I'm not completely disregarding probability and calculations and whatnot. Nor do I advise you to live by this standard because some of these calculations have proven to be very useful.

But like I said. If someone says either A or B is going to happen. Once it happens, and you look back. There was only two choices to begin with. You were either going to make it, or not make it.
-----


I have decided, based on my own experiences, that love is willingly choosing to live for the sake of bettering the quality of another person's life. Regardless of whether or not they see you in the same light. (That doesn't mean stalk them. If they don't want you around then, yeah, it sucks.)

Anyway, no one can tell you that something so personal is true or not. You will believe in love based on your own experiences with or without it.


By the same token; music, art, dance, etc. These are fanciful things that we enjoy, and may even love. Why? Because we deem them worthy of such.


This is just one of those things that some of us embrace because it is beautiful to us, we love it's nature, we believe it to be rich and splendid and merely wish that everyone else could experience the same things we experience.


-----
Unfortunately, that may never come to be. Certain people just don't care for it.



So -- in conclusion. I believe that love may not be for everyone.


But to outright deny it is just ... simple-minded.

[edit on 23-6-2010 by SentientBeyondDesign]

Here's my take:

It's not that love does not exist, it's that it doesn't last.

Not the same way it does at first anyway.

I think the fallacy in the modern day interpretation of what love and marriage is, comes along with the idea that once you find your "soul mate" you will ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after.

I don't think that's how it works. If we look at the animal kingdom, there are animals that are claimed to be "monogamous". But looking further you find that they are not really monogamous FOREVER. They are usually monogamous until they can be reasonably assured that their offspring will survive. And then they move on. They are really more "Multi-monogamous'.

And this is what I think humans are - Multi-monogamous. Society and convenience tells us that once we marry we are to stay married to that same person. You have made your choice.

If those that have managed to evade divorce are honest with themselves, they will not deny that they will at some point begin to have strong urges to "see what else is out there". In fact, most of the people I know that have been married a long time explain that denying this urge is an important part of being married. "I can window shop as long as I don't buy anything." But I haven't met a single person who has been in a long term marriage, and is honest, that has not had this urge. The fallacy is in thinking this urge is evil.

Think about your favorite food. Think about how much you crave it sometimes. Now think about having that for every meal for the rest of your life. Silly huh? Humans are drawn to novelty. We crave and yearn for things that are new and different to us. The paradox is in the reality that once we get that something, it will only be new and different for a period of time. This is not evil. It is the way we have become the most advanced species on this planet.

I think we are meant to have a partner long enough to be reasonably assured that our offspring will survive. Then our genes tell us to move on to the next, in order to have a better chance in the ultimate survival of our genes. Heck, if you are a bible reader then you will know that God was (is?) ok with harems.

Check out The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins for a fascinating epiphany as to why humans do the things we do. We are really just lumbering gene robots (who have become self aware). That's why you would die for your children, and it's why there is racism.

I'm going into too many directions here now so I will stop.

I love this thread!

[edit on 23-6-2010 by TattarrattaT]

reply to post by TattarrattaT



This is not an argument against monogamy. This is merely an argument that supports that some people may be partial to this kind of nature, and might like to live their lives in accordance to this.

The notion that everyone is meant to have someone, or should be with someone just because it is considered "normal" is silly. You don't NEED to be with anyone. You don't have to stay with anyone unless you decide you want to. You don't ever even have to have any kind of relationship.

You don't NEED to have sex, etc.


-----
I don't care to tell people that love exists a certain way. I know how it exists for me in the same way that I understand why I love to play my electric guitar. (Don't get it twisted and assume that they each have the same intensity, as it were. I'm merely making a loose comparison.)


But I'm also severely annoyed by people that feel they are qualified enough to tell me I need to live a certain way. Or believe certain things. If I'm not hurting anyone, I don't see a problem.


Any leisurely activity we do could be seen as non-sense. We could all destroy all those aspects of our lives and reduce our activities to basic survival. Doing things only because they are necessary and have due reason within science and nature.



-----
However, we don't. Because we are creative. We are social. We exist. We have choice. And so we embrace these things because we enjoy them.

It won't work for everyone. But for those that it does, it will be splendid.
-----

I think a lot of animosity also comes from people that don't quite identify with the notion of love/marriage or many OTHER societal norms, and having society constantly tell them that that is the way things are SUPPOSED to be.

If it doesn't work for you. You're going to assume it is a load of crap. Even if you weren't configured for it to begin with.



As for animals ... Lol, humans and animals are not so similar. I think the reason people like to believe this is because they look at the majority, and see that the majority is largely geared towards listening to nothing but raw instinct.

Unfortunately for believers of this madness, humans are more than capable of operating outside of these means. We can make tons of decisions outside of "what is to be expected from the animal kingdom".


Name one? We went to the moon.


I keep having to note to people that animals can be terrific dumbasses too. It isn't just people.

Animals are not this serene mass of entities that knows exactly how life should be lived. Animals live according to their circumstances. They live according to their attributes and environments, their circumstances and abilities.

Some of them COULD be worth a double-take, but really.




-----
Do you know why people look to animals? Because animals are the simple answer for these problems. "You know what, let's just do what they do and be done with it."

We AREN'T them. So why would we apply that solution to our problems? We don't have the same dynamics and psychological stimulants.

If you're okay with it? Cool, do what you will. But don't pander it as though that is the way it is supposed to be for everyone.

Originally posted by Tryptych
reply to post by Sink the Bismarck!

 

All your feelings are "chemical reactions". You can say that colors are frequencies, but it doesn't give you any insight how they look like.

Also, what do you mean by "love"? It might just not be only between human beings, and has nothing to do with sex.

No, all emotions and feelings result from internal physical processes. On the topic of this thread - love exists, but not in any glorified form. Love is an emotion which urges humans (as well as other animals, possibly) into bonding and mating with each other.

And it has everything to do with sex and survival of the species. Deep down, everyone is driven by instinct to reproduce and spread their genes.

reply to post by Sink the Bismarck!


Some people don't care to reproduce at all, really.

Originally posted by Sink the Bismarck!
Love is an emotion which urges humans (as well as other animals, possibly) into bonding and mating with each other.

So, if you love your child, you want to have sex with him/her? Is that it?

Love exists as much as hate exists. It is the duality of the universe. What you call love, some may call hate, and vice versa. Thats the nature of the beast, one cannot exist without the other.

You cant have up without having down, and you cant have left without right. Just tossing that out there.

Originally posted by SentientBeyondDesign
reply to post by Sink the Bismarck!

 

Some people don't care to reproduce at all, really.

Yep exactly you can include me in this. Humans are just beasts.