Mr. Moms Become More Common--Father's Day Tribute

I really enjoyed this article.

Trends seem to show that dads are becoming more involved and doing it willingly when it comes to child raising.

Atlanta, Georgia (CNN) -- Atlanta radio personality Jimmy Baron describes the events that left him unemployed as a perfect storm. In 2006, the radio station where he had worked for 13 years was bought and the new owner cut his pay by 60 percent.

He quit and began looking for work. A few offers came in, but not what he was looking for. Then, the nation's economy tanked, and -- for the next three years -- all the offers dried up.

Baron describes that period as horrendous, emasculating, one of the worst of his life.

Read the rest of the story here.

So this is a shout out to all the dad's out there, good job with your kids. Stay involved and be there as Mr. Mom. There's nothing wrong with that, and your kids will thank you later .

Happy Fathers Day Everybody!

Thoughts?

~Keeper

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[edit on 20/6/2010 by Mirthful Me]

[edit on 6/20/2010 by tothetenthpower]

I am just glad i will never bring someone into this world.

But i also think that one day there will only be one gender.

I too raised my 4 kids by myself for a few years,no big deal I always thought thats what being a parent was about,they are as much as my kids as hers

Originally posted by andy1033
I am just glad i will never bring someone into this world.

I held similar thoughts at one time, but things change. If the opportunity arises do not deprive yourself of children. For the very reasons you may despise this planet and some of its offerings (and I won't argue there are many) don't let those feelings prevent you from experiencing the love of a child.

brill

Originally posted by brill

Originally posted by andy1033
I am just glad i will never bring someone into this world.

I held similar thoughts at one time, but things change. If the opportunity arises do not deprive yourself of children. For the very reasons you may despise this planet and some of its offerings (and I won't argue there are many) don't let those feelings prevent you from experiencing the love of a child.

brill

I agree, I never thought I would want to raise children in today's world, however after doing so, I can honestly say it's the best decision I ever made.

At least I know I raised productive members of society who are free thinking and not part of the "bubble children" era.

~Keeper

I was a single father of three sons from 1985 until 2000. It was a challenge at times and all my time was dedicated to my boys. I have absolutely no regrets and would do it all over again.

My boys are now adults with their own families and they have a lot of love and respect for me. They are planning a big day today for me, so I have to get ready.

To all the single dads out there, Don't ever give up no matter how hard it gets. You will get your reward someday when your kids are finally raised. When they are grown up you will miss them. It takes a special kind of man to raise his kids on his own. Happy Fathers Day to you all!!

reply to post by tothetenthpower


You asked for thoughts so here goes. Note that my perspective on this subject is from my personal experience with it and does not reflect on others' abilities/situations.

When my (now 16 year old) son was born, both my husband and I were working and we had a decision to make. It was 1.) use a day care, 2.) I could quit my job, or 3.) my husband could quit his job. Neither of us liked the idea of day care because neither of us wanted our child to be raised by virtually strangers, my husband was miserable at work, I loved my job and I made about twice what he did... so, the decision was somewhat easy (we thought at the time). I worked and he became "Mr. Mom". How "90's" we were, we thought.

This seemed to work well for about 5 years. Then, one day out of the blue (totally out of the blue), he walked out... leaving not only me but our now 5 year old son and our 1 year old daughter to wonder why he left. He had gladly and happily (or so it seemed) done all of the things that both our backgrounds suggested he should do... he took the children to the park, he hosted neighbors' children at our house, he participated heavily in pre-K activities with our son, etc.. All of these things he did in addition to the things men would normally do around the house i.e. fixing things, etc... During this time he and my father built an addition to our house. We took vacations, etc... things seemed normal - we even talked a lot about how well things were going.

He was gone for a full 6 months before contacting us. Basically, he had felt that he had to be the full extent of both roles.. he had to be fully be "Mom" for the childrens' sake AND he had to continue being fully "Husband" for HIS own sake. He felt he had to do all of the "manly" things (fixing things, yard work, even building a playset from scratch, the room addition, etc..) in order to maintain his sense of masculinity because all of the "mommy" things were basically dealing with other women (stay at home moms). It was too much for him, and by the time he would talk about it with me because of his sense of shame about it, it was too late. His own divorce filing (I never wanted it so I refused to file for divorce) stated the grounds of his own desertion of us as the reason for divorce. He loves his kids, he's again become a "good" father, albeit a living-two-hours-away, divorced father. He travels two hours one way, every other weekend, to pick up and drop off the kids.

I just hope, for the sake of all of the families that these men are coming from, that they honestly and fully think through this before they commit to it. I'm not saying that this will happen in their lives, just that the psychology of the situation is more than anyone knows. My son, now 16, still resents his Dad for leaving and probably will continue to. Although I can see what happened and why, all the logic in the world cannot replace the feeling of abandonment that my son carries with him. My daughter (1 at the time of his leaving), on the other hand, never really got to experience him living with us. She is a "daddy's-girl-on-steroids".

reply to post by tothetenthpower


Oh my... I just re-read the title of your thread. I guess you were looking for positive Mr. Mom stories. Men can be absolutely wonderful caretakers, as is even indicated in my depressing story. Just beware about the potential psychological impacts of full time Mr. Momship.

Originally posted by tothetenthpower

Originally posted by brill

Originally posted by andy1033
I am just glad i will never bring someone into this world.

I held similar thoughts at one time, but things change. If the opportunity arises do not deprive yourself of children. For the very reasons you may despise this planet and some of its offerings (and I won't argue there are many) don't let those feelings prevent you from experiencing the love of a child.

brill

I agree, I never thought I would want to raise children in today's world, however after doing so, I can honestly say it's the best decision I ever made.

At least I know I raised productive members of society who are free thinking and not part of the "bubble children" era.

~Keeper

While I do agree that the world isnt quite what it used to be, I'm glad my wife gave me a baby girl so I could have a Fathers Day. She's a tough little red headed demon that still likes her dolls.

My little "Jane" Conner. I just hope we've done enough to prep her for what ever "terminators" that may come her way!

Originally posted by andy1033
I am just glad i will never bring someone into this world.

But i also think that one day there will only be one gender.

One gender? Really? Do you think we're going to regress to amphibians or fish?

Hmmm. One gender. That brings a whole new meaning to "go screw yourself"!

Originally posted by Iamonlyhuman

 

You asked for thoughts so here goes. Note that my perspective on this subject is from my personal experience with it and does not reflect on others' abilities/situations.

... my husband could quit his job. Neither of us liked the idea of day care because neither of us wanted our child to be raised by virtually strangers, my husband was miserable at work, I loved my job and I made about twice what he did... so, the decision was somewhat easy (we thought at the time). I worked and he became "Mr. Mom". How "90's" we were, we thought.

This seemed to work well for about 5 years. Then, one day out of the blue (totally out of the blue), he walked out...
...

Wow, As I went through stripping extraneous story, I found that I couldn't leave ANY of it out and comment on just part of it. (I cleared most of the quote merely for space reasons.)

Your post is flowing, articulate among many positives.

If there's any negativity that emerges it's your guilt over how things that you described happened.

1) Always make the best choices that you can make under the circumstances. It's all that you can expect of yourself.

Result is absolutely no regrets. Ever.

2) It's not always your fault when someone else makes choices for you and leaves you little recourse.

Clarity of mind will expose what is truly your own responsibility and when you realize it; take that responsibility upon yourself; but only that, nothing more.

3) Your post is not negative. It's what happened. I can relate because I had a similar situation. Some actions and reactions are different in my case but I'll suffice it to say that your story is close enough to the history of my XWife and I.


Mr. Mom isn't biblical. There's a great reason for that and you experienced it TOO!

It's not human nature. You cannot expect to change human nature.

Chew on that for a while ... I'm not directing at anyone person either. Just generally speaking.

Before I get into a deep philosophical mire from which I certainly will NOT be able to extricate myself ... I'm typing and I can't shut up!

When kids mature; Parents motives become understood

Understanding that is critical. Have faith in the kids. That they'll mature to that point and will understand.

Remember the last time you did something EXACTLY like your parents did and catch yourself. I laugh.

Out with the bad and promote & retain the best!

Happy Fathers day to the other dads... AND the Mr. Mom's (give that a rest ASAP) even if only temporarily! Being Mr. Mom is very tough in very unique ways.



[edit on 6·20·10 by DrMattMaddix]

reply to post by brill


I would never ever consider it. The world is full of absolute psychopaths running society desperate to destroy others.

If you changed your mind thats your choice, it will not be mine.

Originally posted by felonius

Originally posted by andy1033
I am just glad i will never bring someone into this world.

But i also think that one day there will only be one gender.

One gender? Really? Do you think we're going to regress to amphibians or fish?

Hmmm. One gender. That brings a whole new meaning to "go screw yourself"!

Na i think it will happen, but of course it is a while off.

reply to post by tothetenthpower

So this is a shout out to all the dad's out there, good job with your kids. Stay involved and be there as Mr. Mom. There's nothing wrong with that, and your kids will thank you later .

I fear many people do not know the importance of those statements . Kids with loving caring fathers that stick with them through their whole childhood turn out to be very respectable young adults for the most part.

Great thread

[edit on 20-6-2010 by wiredamerican]

I am a stay at home dad

I don't think I would be too keen on the idea if I had been forced into this situation. I must say, adapting to this type of lifestyle and letting another take control of your life can be quite frustrating at times but very rewarding.

Wikipedia has a nice page about stay at home dad's

en.wikipedia.org...

Mothers reassure toddlers when they become frustrated while fathers encourage them to manage their frustration

[edit on 20-6-2010 by joeroxor]

[edit on 20-6-2010 by joeroxor]

reply to post by Iamonlyhuman


I am very sorry you went through this. But I think irregardless of the situation, your ex was balking at having any kind of responsibility. If the tables were turned, he might of resented having to work for someone else and taken off to rent beach umbrellas on the shore. His problem wasn't having to take on roles. His problem is responsibility and committment.


I mean, the situation he has setup still has him doing all these things. He is just doing it by himself now. Quite stupid really. He just now does it when he wants too. Not when he has too.

[edit on 20-6-2010 by nixie_nox]

Another great thread, tenth!

Happy Father's Day to all dads out there and a special thanks to men who decide, for whatever reason, to be there with their kids growing up. It's a hard and many times, thankless job, but it takes a special person to devote your life to doing the most important job for the future - raising the kids that will step into our footsteps and (hopefully) do a better job than we have...

Happy Father's Day!

Originally posted by joeroxor
I am a stay at home dad

I don't think I would be too keen on the idea if I had been forced into this situation. I must say, adapting to this type of lifestyle and letting another take control of your life can be quite frustrating at times but very rewarding.

Wikipedia has a nice page about stay at home dad's

en.wikipedia.org...

Mothers reassure toddlers when they become frustrated while fathers encourage them to manage their frustration

[edit on 20-6-2010 by joeroxor]

[edit on 20-6-2010 by joeroxor]

I have to agree. Our youngest is 4 so still a Toddler I think? lol

In any case, he's very adventurous and with that continuously falls on his face doing whatever stunt he has in mind. Lately, instead of being all gushy when he falls down, I just exclaim:

" Wow GREAT dive buddy! That was awesome."

And he immediatly stops crying and is happy as a button.

~Keeper

Well Im self employed and my wife just went full time. Although our daughter is now 11 i really value the time I can give to her.

In the course of my career and her early life I spent 2 years living away from home Sun-Fri so its kind of making up for lost time. im lucky I work in an IT related business and can finish at 1pm each day and use the remote setup in my home office during the afternoon if needed - not so many are so fortunate I know.

I think for my dads generation this sort of reversal would have been unthinkable but for us it works - and funny enough my main client is my wife's employer!

My current "boss" said to me the other week that he admired the way we had established a level of work/life balance that suited us.

Oh and I am probably happier and less stressed than I have been in my entire working life.

ETA - I love the Blackberry as well - it made a huge difference and enabled me to have this lifestyle!

[edit on 20-6-2010 by Silk]

In my playdate groups we had a stay at home dad. But he was secure about it.

I asked him if he was ever given a hard time. He said yea his buddies would call him up and ask how mr. mom is doing.

he woudl say: I am chilling at the mall spending time with my daughter and enjoying myself. What are you doing?OH,working for someone and starign at the small grey walls of your cube city? he siad they woudl go uh uh uh uh......