Is Bad Parenting to Blame? , page 1
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Topic started on 11-3-2010 @ 01:58 PM by l neXus l
The reason why i wanted to post this is because, the other day i was driving behind a school bus, and there were 5 year old kids flipping people off and making rude sexual gestures towards women, i was shocked and appalled at this, are the parents to blame?
do they let their kids watch filthy movies? and play violent games are the kids in this new generation really that bad?

i found a useful article on the subject

www.xomba.com...

Lack of parenting is often the reason some teens make bad choices, but there are some very good and effective parents who find that their teen has made some bad choices. Parents can control much of the world of very young kids, but when the teen years hit it is difficult to know all the ways they may manifest themselves. The brains of teenagers are not completed matured. The prefrontal cortex won't be mature until early- to mid- twenties. This contributes to mood problems, bad choices, and misinterpreting "where parents and others are coming from". Today's teens have been raised in a far more challenging culture. Parents, schools, and our culture often underestimate the intelligence of kids but overestimate their emotional maturity. This makes for a hazardous culture that often require super-human emotional strength to resist some of the bad choices. No teen - no matter how intelligent or mature - has the kind of strength required to get past some things, and all teens are at a higher risk of making bad choices than they ever will be in their life. Kids with learning problems in schools, kids who have self-esteem problems in spite of having parents who've tried to help them have more self-esteem, and any number of other kids are likely to make a bad choice at any time. One bad choice often leads to another, and before we know it we have a teenager in trouble of one sort or another. Teen years are uncertain years for a lot of kids, and even one bad-apple, new friend, can contribute to one bad choice that has bad consequences. If parents keep their children too isolated and away from the world they deny them a normal childhood and normal socializing experiences. When children have those normal experiences that have them in the high-risk culture in which they've grown. When a kid acts up the parent can do one of two things: kick him out or let him stay and decide to fight (and I mean FIGHT) to keep him from straying further over the next few years. When a kid and parents fight that kid has more than enough "emotional support" from the wrong people, who agree with his side of things, outside his family. Bad parenting never helps a child grow into a solid, sensible, teen; but its fairly clear to anyone who knows teens well that many, if not most, bad choices teens make are not the result of bad parenting


its not just teens, its children of all ages, the lack of respect for authority, and the belligerent nonsense, i know ive seen a change, i wasnt that way, my parents raised me with morals and values, what are parents doing different today?


reply posted on 11-3-2010 @ 02:16 PM by InertiaZero
reply to post by yeahright



I agree. Not to mention that media is more available than ever.

I mean, look at what you have to filter:

The internet/computer

Games

DVDS

TV

Radio

The Child's friends

This list could get really long...really fast.
It's alot to keep up with as a parent.

Which is why I dont have kids


reply posted on 11-3-2010 @ 02:18 PM by concernedcitizan
It is often assumed that disciplining children is all about harsh words and punishment, yet really the purpose of discipline is to teach the child a skill that will serve them well in adulthood: self discipline.


All children need to be taught self-discipline. This is something the parent must do out of love and a sense of responsibility - to help their child. Any discipline that is purely a release of frustration on the part of the parent is harmful to the child's mental state. To shout at, or hit a child in anger will send a message out that the parent lacks self-control and lacks discipline themselves. It encourages the child to think that disputes are better solved by losing their temper and lashing out.

This is not to say that there is no place for verbal or physical admonishment. At times this is the right way to deal with a misbehaving child, and it is hugely preferable to the various passive-aggressive alternatives (such as "love withdrawal") that modern liberals practice. Discipline should be aimed at rearing a child who feels loved, secure and confident, and who can master their emotions appropriately.

All children are different, and react differently to attempts to discipline them. Most are very sensitive to the disapproval of their parents, and feel a strong need to be in favor. Such children react especially well to praise as a motivation to behave well. If the parent rarely shows praise, the child may conclude that pleasing the parent is near impossible - and this leads to the child becoming more likely to be disobedient. Then again, too frequent praise becomes devalued and loses impact.

Parenting is not easy. Few, if any, parents are "perfect". With your first child, you begin a steep learning curve that will lead to being more confident about raising subsequent children. A well disciplined brother or sister will be a massively positive influence on their sibling, just as misbehavior is also copied. Teach the first child well, and you can save effort later on. Above all, never underestimate the necessity of being a good role model yourself.


reply posted on 11-3-2010 @ 02:53 PM by therewillberevolt
I do place some blame on the parents, but the rest would fall on all of us. We as a people let this happen, the parents had their part, and we had ours. As a parent it starts with lack of discipline, then caving to demands for convenience. The T.V. is a major role model in this behaviour, as is video games. Think family channel shows, that one chick miley cyrus's show whatever its called i watched it with my sister a few times, and the parents take a backseat role as a cool friend, instead of a parent that will exert their morals on the kids.

I do not beleive thats the only reason. I think the majority of the blame lies on us. Political correctness states that if your kid throws a tantrum and manipulates the parents it is completely taboo nowadays to lay a hand on them, i dont mean like beating them, but my god some kids could use a spanking. it shows that they cant do as they please with the only consequence being a "No bobby, please dont rip that boys hair out." or "No, jane it isnt right to smash things when you dont get your way."

Now keep in mind I am still a young person myself, but my parents kept me in line. I know that i should respect all living things as they are just like me, and i appreciate being respected.

I will end with this, please don't lump all the youth of today with a few bad seeds. You may notice the ones flipping you off and yelling and screaming, but we the ones well mannered, and very respectful go unnoticed. We are not all the same, so please dont imply it.
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