reply to post by IntastellaBurst
The way I look at karma is kind of confusing. I think to myself, that maybe in some way these karmatic debts are like neglected cells of my body that
are ill. I just feel like if I sort out all these external things that it will do something internally. It's not like i lose sleep over this, quite
the contrary, its just a calling really. That sense of karma is strong, that sense of "I need to do this for some reason."
I don't think its like a system of feeling like you owe anything but to me it seems more like established connections that are still a part of you
and they want to be balanced out. "enlightenment for all beings" or whatever the Buddha said.
But I have mixed ideas about it, because despite what some people think about all this philosophy, i may try to grasp certain concepts but i try not
to get over my head and just go with what I can work with. That being said.. i almost think if this idea of infinity is the case of all things, then
it doesn't really matter what I do. Like I used to question why the Buddha just sat on his ass.. and to me I'm thinking.. maybe if this guy
stretches his awareness further out he can balance it as if its a part of him, at least in his own perspective of reality, which could be all that
really matters. The possibilty for things to be just too flexible is what I think about. I feel like people, things are all part of what i am, am I am
part of them.. sort of like collecting thoughts and bringing them together, finding other personalities in your mind. Each person and thing represents
like a dream sign, i wonder if I am that way to them as well. I kind of look at like.. if I was to evolve and stretch out and suddenly the space I
occupied was more advanced, more peaceful, then it seems like as I evolve that the whole universe goes with me, as those other layers just may be
conditional to the observer.
At any case I don't think it is detrimental to try and "save" everybody because not everyone wants that anyway. And besides, i've had experiences
that have taken me way outside what I perceived as my identity and I kind of think everything is a creative thought form, and this is just a game,
and everyone is fine, and they are all one mind and observing themselves through the experience of life.
It just doesn't seem that important to me, this karma thing, outside of the sense of sorting out some stuff that's part of you and conflicting with
your growth, like holding onto a bad memory from childhood that once it is addressed you feel much better etc.
People have their doubts about re-incarnation and honestly I don't care, frankly I can't see it being any other way because it makes too much sense
other then entering the "great blackness". The universe as an equation just makes more sense to me this way. I'm not afraid to die, not because of
some faith, because i don't care and really see it as a non-issue either way, but I know everyone is in some way afraid to LIVE. And they ask "why
can't I remember past lives?".. the answer to me is.. we'd go insane with ATTACHMENT.. guilt.. desire.. all the things we experienced, it would be
an overload. People have a hard enough time with their current life, drowning the memories with booze. Imagine... infinite? but lets be fair and just
say 10 000.. if not.. 3.. deal with all those un-addressed thoughts.
Meditation can bring out some strange thoughts, that feel like memories, or something of familiarity and unaddressed issues.
Karma seems like removing these things so we can live with ourselves again. Of course you could just ignore it and live a basic and dismissive life,
but for some people that's not enough, the whole.. self-awareness thing is an addictive calling and the effects can lead to a way cooler life that's
for sure. To not be limited by thoughts of "i am not that kind of guy.".. to remove your doubts and fears and limitations and expand your whole
sense of being alive.
I look at these monk guys as possibly like being in school too. I think about it.. if i am re-incarnated, I think I was probably a monk before, but
i'm not a monk now, and i think about it, and the idea of that kind of structure makes me feel trapped. It seems like a university you're in your
whole life. That's just how I feel about it. I have little interest in doing what they do for my whole life, but I am interested in what they do,
just in my own way.