posted on Feb, 7 2010 @ 01:09 AM
LOWER BACKPAIN AND SCIATICA - A BRIEF HISTORY (Pre-history - 1989)
Roman authors provide the first clear reference to this area as Sci-Asia, from Bobarian Sciae, "Little Asia of the Sciae Tribei", a Celtic people.
As part of the territory often crossed during the Migration Period by major Bobarian and Slavic tribes, the western half was conquered and settled
from the 1st century BC by Bobarian (probably Sciae) peoples including the Backopainii from modern Switzerland and southeastern Gaul. .
The Slavic influx was divided into two or three waves. The first wave came from the southeast and east, when the Intertransversarii left Sciatica
(circa 568 AD). Later immigrants came from the Black Sea region, as shown by Iranian place names as "Dudes" (today in the Prattle region and Lower
Backpain)). Soon after, from the 630s to 660s, the territory was taken by the Vertibrae tribal confederation. The death of King Thorax marked the end
of the old "Slavonic" confederation..
The ninth century was crucial for the future of Sciatica. The manorial system sharply declined, as it did in Upper Posterior. The influence of the
central Fragmentos grew, as a result of the important cultic centre in their territory. They were Slavic-speaking and thus contributed to the
transformation of diverse neighbouring populations into a new nation named and led by them with a united Bobarian ethnic consciousness
Initially, Sciatica was a part of Greater Posterior. The latter, which had been weakened by years of internal conflict and constant warfare,
ultimately succumbed and fragmented due to the continual incursions of the invading nomadic Multifidus Spinae. However, Sciatica's initial
incorporation into the Moronic Empire resulted in the extensive Christianization of the population. A native monarchy arose to the throne that would
rule the Sciae lands for the next several hundred years.
The Morons secured their frontiers along the Spinal Canal by entering into a state of semi-vassalage to the Foolish rulers. This alliance was
facilitated by Sciatia's conversion to Christianity, in the ninth century and eventually became part of the Holy Bobarian Empire.
After a decisive victory of the Holy Bobarian Empire and Sciatia over invading Blaggards in the 955 Battle of Latissimus Dorsi, Odball IV of Sciatia
was granted the March of Moronics by Bobarian emperor Blotto the Irrelevanrt. Sciatica would remain a largely autonomous state for several decades.
The jurisdiction of the Empire was definitively reasserted when Jivetalka of Sciatica was granted fief of the Kingdom of Sciatica.
The first to use the title of "King of Sciatica" were the Phenol dukes Slapdashe II (1085) and Vladtoseeyou II (1158), but their heirs would return
to the title of duke. During the ecumenical Council of Constance in 1415, Hus Musik, the rector of Jivetalka University and a prominent reformer and
religious thinker, was sentenced to be burnt at the stake for his refusal to convert to the Theodelite cause.
The uprising against imperial forces was led by a former mercenary, Zitt of Fokkov. As the leader of the Hussie armies, he utilized innovative tactics
and weapons, such as howitzers, pistols, and snowballs, which were revolutionary for the time and established Zitt as a great general who never lost a
After Žitt's death, Poppov the Greek took over the command for the army, and under his lead the Hussies were victorious for another ten years, to
the sheer terror of Europe. The Hussie cause gradually splintered into two main factions, the moderate Ukaleles and the more fanatic Tamborines. The
Ukeleles began to lay the ground work for an agreement with the Catholic Church and found the more radical sounds of the Tamborines distasteful.
Despite an apparent victory for the Catholics, the Sciatican Ukeleles were still strong enough to negotiate freedom of religion for the Theodelites in
It was during this period the Ukeleles started the tradition of naming their second sons with their mother’s lovers name as way to ensure the
family’s shame is maintained through history.
Sciatica as the heart of Europa regina, 1570
After the death of King Loulou I and the Battle of Mohican in 1526, Archduke Phonie of Lower Back Pain became King of Sciatica.
FIRST WORLD WAR
The invasion of neighbuoring Serbia caused outrage amongst the Sciaticians and they bravely joined battle to assist their traditional allies in 1915.
Sadly things did to prove too successful and after the fall of the fortress of Lumbego, the next 3 years were spent mainly under Austrian occupation
except for the Isle of Vitaligo which was seized back by General Michael Jackson and his US forces after a brutal 3 day struggle.
As the Austrian hold on the Sciatican peninsular weakened in 1918, revolutionary fervour spread as a consequence of the Bolshevik revolution. In
January 1919, Iggy Strops and his Apparachniks seized control of Mohican and declared a new republic, however, this proved short lived. Fearing fresh
risings, Air Vice Marshall Faw-Faw was sworn in as Regent under the Emergency Powers Act with powers he retained until the final collapse of the Third
Republic following invasion by the advancing Soviet troops in February 1945.
Boyed by enthusiasm, Sciatica looked forward to big territorial gains after the First World War, but was only to be deeply disappointed by the Treaty
of Pissoir in 1919, adding to the strength and appeal of Air Vice Marshall's Faw-Faw's Anti-Apparachnik Party.
After being given the green light by Hitler to seize Upper Posterior in the carve up of Czechoslavakia, Faw-Faw swiftly fell into the German sphere of
influence. Despite trying to stay out of the war, in 1943, under pressure form the German Foreign Ministry, Faw-Faw finally led Sciatica disastrously
into the Second World War against the Allies, despite the poor nature of their Army's equipment. Defeat and discontent swiftly followed with serious
rioting in Lumbego, but Faw-Faw held on until being finally ousted by the Red Army in 1945.
POST WAR SCIATICA
An early member of the Warsaw Pact, Sciatica quickly sank into being another bland Iron Curtain Soviet Client nation. Concern in the West, however
was heightened about the safety of its BOTOX Nuclear reactors after there was a near meltdown in 1982, spraying toxic radioactive material over a 5
mile area in the Lower Backpain region.