My meditation woes, the normal abnormal?

Hi Everybody!,

I know that many of you are very experienced with meditation and with alternate densities/astral planes etc. I hope you don't mind me asking a few questions of you all with more experience than myself. I have been trying to meditate and do some spiritual work on myself lately but have been having problems. For the longest time I would have (lucid dreaming?) or dreams where I was aware of the situation and able to control them completely. I had complete control and would often change the course of these dreams for my enjoyment. Then as of the past few years, I began to no longer remember any of my dreams at all. It was as if I quit dreaming altogether. Then in the recent past for the first time since being a child, I have had a few recurring negative dreams in which I lack my usual control. Many of these recurring dreams also seem to have something to do with the world issues as they are today. Though this could just be because of how I occupy myself I dunno if any of this is related to my meditation experience but it seemed pertinent so I mention it.

Now as for meditation, I have had problems with my attempts as well. From time to time I have accidentally fallen asleep while trying to meditate which I have heard/know is a common mistake/control issue when you are new but it's when this doesn't happen that I run into problems. I can very very easily, or so it seems to me slip into the astral planes and I feel as if I have the same control over it as I did over my dreams years before. I feel as if I am almost a natural there, like I belong, or that at least controlling myself there is very natural and familiar BUT..... here's my problem, every time I get to this place and begin to dive deeper in any direction, ie., deeper into myself, astral projection, moving through that/those planes, any kind of movement or investigation, somebody or something, or even myself, forcefully shoves me back into our density/reality/my body! It's like being startled awake, pushed, and purposely scared all at once! I always am left with the feeling that either part of me, or something/someone else is afraid of what I might discover, see, or be capable of, so as soon as I get to that plane so to speak and start to make waves, I feel like I attract attention and someone/thing/me that is much more experienced pushes me back out!?

So does anyone have any thoughts? Ideas? Help? Is this at all normal? Am I crazy? Is it my own mental block? Could someone be trying to stop me? Thanks for any insight friends! I would love to solve this personal mystery as I feel we should all be entitled to work on our spiritual selves/explore/improve and I can't

I actually quit meditation because of these mental block fears you speak of.

My experience was weightlessness, and that was enough for me. I wanted to post to check this thread later. I even made my own thread about it months ago titled "Why am I so scared".

Hope you get the answers you are looking for.

[edit on 24-1-2010 by sticky]

Interesting, ... I've been pulled OUT of body by other entity's, but never back in .

If anything is holding you back I assume it is YOU. Sometimes if we reach a new plane we might have a reaction of excitement, and out of this excitement might come doubt, ... as in " this is amazing, can this really be happening " ..... and it only takes a fraction of doubt to shoot you right back into body.

It sounds like the astral travel you describe is different than having a full blown out of body experience, ... so your connection to those planes not be as strong, ... but I'm not one for meditation, I know some others will have good advice for you.

Yeah it could very well be myself at fault. The thing is though is that I really do get the distinct feeling that either I am afraid of what I'll see or discover or what feels even more likely to me is that somebody/something does not want me where I was or was headed! I say that because my trips start well enough again but as soon as I start to really open myself up, or explore so to speak the feeling is distinctly that of getting snapped back into my body and I feel like I can almost sense a person or something doing the pushing! Or at the very least present and not helping! I think it's almost like an astral watchdog or someone/thing that's there to make things more difficult/scary or whatever just to dissuade me from snooping. Again any ideas? Thanks for your input though guys.

Hey Red
I've found in my short travels that my ego disagrees with certain things I find about myself. You could check out Carl Jung and his description of the human psyches Shadow Self. If you haven't already I'll stick around to see whats up =P I could probably learn something.