posted on Jan, 3 2010 @ 01:23 AM
So last night, I lucidly dreamed as i always do... except this one really got my attention. It was, beyond disturbing.
In my dream, I was aware that what I was experiencing was real, we all have those kinds of dreams. Yet, in another dimension. Since I always am
aware when I am dreaming, that I am in a very real other place- I never gave it much thought of it actually being an alternate universe until last
night. Now, I am convinced that last night, while I dreamed- I experienced my other selfs life in an altnernate reality.
I dreamed last night of my alternate self dying- of Cancer. Ugh it was soooo terrible to experience. Let me attempt to retell it how I remember
I remember sitting in a bus looking at a hospital, thinking about flying to California to visit with my best friend Robin before I have to "go in"
to the hospital. The next thing I remember is I am aware I Have had a tracheotomy and had difficulty keeping it open for air. I remember feeling it
with my fingers and how it hurt my throat.
The next thing I remembered- was sitting in a hospital room- very dim and bleak- think communist Russia - and choking while looking at myself in the
mirror- saying to myself- "Well now- you went and got yourself Throat Cancer" what are you going to do now? Refuse Chemotherapy and Radiation
because of all the conspiracies about it or will I actually pussy out and do it. I would pussy out and do it. I wouldnt use the alternative
treatments, I was too far along. (I have always thought that in this life if i got cancer i would try anything aslong as I didnt have to do chemo or
radiation) but I chose it in this life and it didnt work.
The next thing I remember is my mother being with me in my hospital room. I had no husband like I do in my current life. I had MS like I also do in
this life, but I was all alone in the world. I was aplogizing to her about how she has to go through this with me, as her sister (in this life) died
3 months ago from a long battle with Lung Cancer and my mother has been devastated over this. I tell her I am sorry and that I am going to die. She
says- well maybe its because of all of those cigarrettes I used to smoke- and I promptly reminded her that I quit offically 5 years earlier and only
picked it up recently again because I was so stressed out. But that wasnt it- that wasnt it at all. I was just destined to be sick and die.
The last thing I remember was getting a hospital room mate that I did not like- a teenage girl. The conditions of the hospital were very poor and
desolate. I remember going to the mirror again looking at myself while I asperated and white foam came out of my mouth and I died. I was alone.
I awoke with such a disturbance that I ran to my husband in the living room and hugged onto him, and told him what had happened. I was so shaked by
Now- how this fits in to my current life- is I have recently picked up smoking again about 5 ciggarettes a day due to my husband picking it up again-
as we both quit 3 years ago and were fine. I have been planning on quitting again- and well- today- this dream has done it. I refuse to smoke
another ciggarette. So I am going through nicotene withdrawl right now- but Ill do it- I always do. The thought of what I experienced in my dream-
experiencing it in this life aswell- was too much for me to even bare. Hows this for a dream helping you conquer your bad habits?
I anticipate that many people will say- ah you were just dreaming. But it was more than that. It felt real like it was happening in an alternate
universe. In a real alternate universe. I always thought those theories were crap but now- now I cant help but wonder.
Any one else ever experience anything like that?