Why do I feel this way?

Ever since I was a child, I have felt as if I am living life in the third person. I know...I know.... it is hard to explain... I have used Google and searched all over the web, I just can't find anything. I like to consider myself to be a pretty average person..parents together, graduated high school, joined the military, going to college. But I don't feel like I am occupying THIS body, I feel like my mind is located about a foot behind me at an oblique angle to my right. I know it sounds absolutely insane, but I have been a member for a little bit and I trust you folks really do care about stuff like this. Any theories? thx----------HYPERION

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Originally posted by SimonGray
2e.) Illicit Activity: Discussion of illicit activities; specifically the use of mind-altering drugs & substances, engaging in computer hacking, promoting criminal hate, dicussing sexual relations with minors, and furtherance of financial schemes and scams are strictly forbidden.

[edit on 12/21/2009 by Majic]

Perhaps Depersonalization disorder.

Depersonalization disorder (DPD) is a dissociative disorder in which the sufferer is affected by persistent or recurrent feelings of depersonalization and/or derealization. The symptoms include a sense of automation, going through the motions of life but not experiencing it, feeling as though one is in a movie, feeling as though one is in a dream, feeling a disconnection from one's body; out-of-body experience, a detachment from one's body, environment and difficulty relating oneself to reality.

See if that rings true.

reply to post by hyperion.martin

It's difficult to fully imagine what that must feel like, but you describe the sensation quite well. I could only think that somehow your spiritual self is not centered where it would normally be.

From what I have read on this site, there will be many ATS'ers who should be able to give you guidance. As I am only just beginning to understand Chakra points and how to keep these balanced. It maybe your consciousness utilizes a different part of your brain than most of us do.

If it doesn't feel too uncomfortable I would suggest that it could also provide you with a different perspective on aspects of your life not available to most of us.

I will star and flag to see if we can get the right people here to discuss this with you.

I don't really have any theories for you but im sure this is something a lot of people experience without even knowing it. I for one know that sometimes ill do things, say things, think things, that don't feel like me. like something else just rattled it off before i even had time to think about it, and thus have always felt sort of separate from my body. mine isn't a constant but at times i do feel like im just watching myself do things, i also live a normal life, college, and military. don't have any help just letting you know. you are not alone.

Barak

reply to post by EnlightenUp


This is interesting, honestly I have never heard of it before. I am gonna look into it. Thanks

reply to post by Barak89


It is good to know I am not completely insane! I am sure you can understand how I really could not tell anybody during my military situation, the stigma of any mental problems can ruin a person as you know.

no one said you werent insane (:

in fact we are all insane in some way or another. look at the rest of teh world in your seperated way and you might notice signs that everyone is nuts!

on a more personal note, good luck with finding whats ails you. inn your shoes, i might find a way to accept the way i see the world and try to adapt to it. eventually you might forget it was ever there.

but i personally dont ask for help. i like to work things out for myself.

do or die, sink or swim.

thats just me!

reply to post by hyperion.martin


Haha yes i know for a fact the military has a lot of little things that get you screwed. had a close call once, but anyway. I don't believe your insane, i wont get into some of my more radical explanations for things but i know that everyone is different and some people are very different. i think someday we may know the answers but for now we just have to keep wondering. time for popcorn and a movie. good luck.

Barak

depersonlisation is somthing that springs to my mind, had this type of feeling all my life i was bullied as a child then many tramatic events in quick sucsesion
have you ever watched a film called jacobs ladder it made a great deal of sense to me dont worry you are not the only one feeling this way just no one knows what to do about it i feel

reply to post by hyperion.martin


You naturally know there is something more. Something beyond what is being presented as "the norm".

Join the club and welcome!

reply to post by hyperion.martin

In Carlos Castaneda's series on the wisdom of the old Sonoran "sorcerors" they spoke about the Assemblage point being roughly in that position and by altering its position we can gain experience of other realities. So maybe a good place to start is reading the series on Don Juan.

Also, please avoid the mental health Industry approach as it is a despicable (sp) control-master. Each year it comes up with new and improved mental illnesses that are really only portions of the Spectrum of Normal Human Experience. According to their Industry, and lets all face the fact that it is an industry intent of proving its worth and continuing its path, the vast majority have some form of mental illness. Which makes it Normal!!

The latest being that it is a mental illness to not like big cities! Pffft! That means all of us who prefer to live in the country are mentally ill, and as we should be able to see, this is a ridiculous situation.

Now I'm not saying that some people do not need some assistance at times with some forms of serious mental disorder, the facts of Higher awareness and the experience of other realities is not a mental illness in the truth of it no matter what The Industry has to say about it. That Industry Believes it knows better, and yet it is only based on Theories that are very old and prone to being completely wrong.

So, seek understanding from a strong, well grounded spiritual perspective rather than applying the limitations of man's theoretical beliefs.

Originally posted by Tayesin

In Carlos Castaneda's series on the wisdom of the old Sonoran "sorcerors" they spoke about the Assemblage point being roughly in that position and by altering its position we can gain experience of other realities. So maybe a good place to start is reading the series on Don Juan.

I actually thought the same thing when I read the opening post. I think that the Assemblage point could be something similar to the the crown-chakra, consciousness, the "experiencer". If I remember correctly, Don Juan described the point being somewhere near the chest, like heart chakra.

Those books are amazing btw, even if they are purely fictional, they are priceless part of shamanic culture brought to the western world. And no, the OP doesn't sound crazy at all.

The human brain is a fascinating generator of complex and contextually sophisticated information. We refer to this information as perception, and the amazing amount of texture is what makes this form of information unique and extremely valuable in the larger realm of information-centric physical existence.

Your experience is due to understimulation in a specific area of your brain that is responsible for your sense of relative identity. Relative, meaning that each burst of conscious perception exists with a specific contextual relationship that defines that burst from non-related bursts (let's say, from other brains). There are curcuit assemblies within the larger assembly structure of the human brain that deal with properly reflecting that contextual relationship, ensuring that the generated perception is reasonably accurate and reflective of the relationship between the generating superstructure and the host environment that supports that superstructure and allows it ongoing operation. If any of these circuit subassemblies becomes unstable, or were malformed during gestation, then perception is impacted.

I'm curious, however, that you claim that this is how you've always experienced existence. If this is true, then why does it seem odd to you? Certainly, if this has been your whole version of reality since birth, then it would seem that you'd find nothing remarkable about it at all. Especially since such a perception would be so esoteric and undiscussed as to remain fairly hidden from you over the course of your entire lifetime. At least as far as your "3rd person" perception being seen as 3rd person perception by you.

In essence, what made you realize that the rest of us DON'T stand just off to the side of ourselves? As specific and as singular a sensation as this must be, who was it that determined that you do perceive yourself in this manner, and convinced you that "normal people" don't perceive themselves in this manner? Perception is a full experience, and not really something that we generally question unless we're confronted with powerful indications that our perceptions are wrong. Such a vague shift in perception would be hard to qualify for someone who's entire life has been rooted in that very distinct way of being alive and aware, since no shift would have ever occurred at all for you. The only change would have been that someone convinced you that your version of reality is wrong.