Not sure I had rose-tinted glasses before, always thought they were kind of dark. Following Above Top Secret, and a number of other sites, really has made it darker.
The argument I had with myself for the longest time was whether "things are" as the result of natural consequence, or by design; by chance or by
conspiracy. Concluded, ultimately it doesn't much matter as it is unacceptable either way, and we are not powerless either way.
No need to panic...but it is a huge mind-trip. Getting beyond all the freaky stuff, it comes down to the simple matter of self-responsibility and
accepting the ramifications for our own choices to accept, or not accept, whatever is thrown at us. It all starts with facing our fears though, and
ATS covers a lot of them...welcome and best wishes for success in all your pursuits.