Hi people.... I've been asking this question in my real life now for the last two years and trying to find info on the web to no avail so... bit the
bullet and thought I would ask in here.
During my life I have either through personal or work life encountered a few dead/dying people but something that happened to me in November 2007
mystifies me still.
In November 2007 at age 37, I flew to Europe to be at the bedside of my dying Babicka [Grandmother], a women who had virtually brought me up for much
of my life while my Mother did 'more important things' than being held back by a child
My Grandmother was at home, bedridden and in a semi concious state when I arrived but I spent every available minute with her brushing her hair,
washing her, making sure she was warm enough not too hot, dabbing her mouth with water soaked cotton wool and talking to her in Czech and in English
when emotions took over me. I spent a lot of time cuddling her in bed and dozing off to sleep with my arms around her.
She gradually slipped further towards death and then one day as I sat alone on her bed with her she started to 'wet breath' ..... I knew her time
had come and called for my Mother to come in from the other room.
Her death was awful to witness, her face contorted in pain.. I had NEVER seen my Babicka in pain like that. I called out to 'something' I'm not
religious so not sure what and whispered “Oh please please don't let this hurt her, please just take her quickly”
At that point her body relaxed and I had my hands... left one kind of on her right shoulder and back of neck and my right hand was laid on her chest
just below or on her right clavicle.
It's what happened then that this post is about and I apologise for rambling on to get here....
Both my hands felt like just before you get pins and needles and like they had swollen up.... you know that 'cant get my rings off' feeling you
sometimes wake up with or get on an aeroplane?
The 'fat n fizzy' feeling gradually crawled up my wrists and arms then through my chest to the point I couldn't quite catch my breath... I looked
across at my Mother who was sitting in a chair next to the bed and her face was calm and she didn't seem to be experiencing this... I called out
“Mama?” but by then my neck and head were fuzzy and fat feeling and I felt a rush going through my body.. My Mother looked up at me and I said
“I think I'm.... I don't know... I feel funny!”
My Mother just looked back at my Grandmother and I let go of her and held on to my chest and .... well I don't know I just sat there thinking wtf?
The whole fat n fizzy thing lasted about 7 to 10 seconds.. seemed longer at the time but in reality was just short.
I then went into auto pilot mode and asked my Mum to go get the rest of the family, I got a scarf and put it on my grandmothers head and secured it
under her chin and started to tidy the bed area blah blah blah.....
What was that feeling? Was it just emotions? Imagination? I wasn't hysterical or panicking when she was breathing her last just sad that it was
hurting her so...
The feeling was extremely intense and akin to what I imagine being electrocuted would feel like but only through my upper body.
Oh I tell you what it felt like and please don't attack me for this, back when I was about 17 some friends of mine had something they called Poppers
[Alkyl Nitrate] they said it was a fab feeling so stupidly I took a deep sniff of it and the feeling then was very similar to the feeling when
Grandmother died only the poppers didn't give the fizzing/buzzing feeling... Never 'sniffed' it again as it wasn't a feeling I enjoyed, dislike
drugs ... I don't even take painkillers if I can avoid it!
OK like I said it's taken me a while to get this down into writing and I chose ATS as the most probably place I would either be told what it was or
told to forget it as just a reaction to the sad event.
Please don't attack me I'm not a fighter and wont respond