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Some more 'You Might be a Redneck' jokes...

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posted on Nov, 13 2009 @ 03:29 AM
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You might be a redneck if....

You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company.

Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

You find a car when you mow your lawn.

You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.

You and your dog use the same tree.

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors

Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.

Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.

You take a six-pack cooler to church.

Your family tree has no forks.

You use a weedeater in your living room.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.

A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

Your only Christmas cards come from the mailman

Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.

You just bought an 8-track player to put in your truck.

You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.

You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

You may be a redneck if you ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

Your parents met at a family reunion.

Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.

You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

more coming soon...




posted on Nov, 13 2009 @ 04:00 AM
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Funny Scoob, was thinking about this yesterday as I took a stroll downtown in the small (horribly) redneck community that I live in. (SHUDDERS)
The entire town is decorating for the holidays, and the store windows are proudly displaying gift items. One shop in particular displays the wares of local artists, such as jewelery, paintings,sculptures etc...well I laughed at the display that was in the window yesterday. I swear I am dead and in redneck hell...
JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS, HAND MADE, ONE OF A KIND, NO TWO ALIKE..... DEER ANTLER CANDLE HOLDERS

OMG...shoot me please....:shk:
That is wacky tacky to the max.



posted on Nov, 13 2009 @ 04:07 AM
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reply to post by AccessDenied
 


lol. My neighbors have begun to decorate their house for christmas .... at the start of november. Whats worse is that they can't decorate for the life of them, and it looks as if neighborhood kids came along and 'toilet papered' their house lol...



posted on Nov, 13 2009 @ 08:39 AM
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reply to post by Scooby Doo
 



You might be a redneck if....


As a proud, practicing and fully free roaming Alabama redneck, I hereby authenticate your assumptions. And in the spirit of good humor, also present you with the prestigious Redneck Appreciation Award!



You might be a redneck if... you have your own personalized outhouse, complete with portable a/c unit and exhaust fan!

Cheers!



posted on Nov, 13 2009 @ 02:31 PM
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reply to post by redoubt
 


lol. I like that A LOT!! I couldn't find a happy congratulatory smiley on BTS, exept for the banana. The rest are all a little morbid lol, look:

:bnghd:
:bash: lol.



posted on Nov, 13 2009 @ 02:46 PM
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Originally posted by Scooby Doo
reply to post by redoubt
 


lol. I like that A LOT!! I couldn't find a happy congratulatory smiley on BTS, exept for the banana. The rest are all a little morbid lol, look:

:bnghd:
:bash: lol.


Agreed, lmao!

Thanks again for the thread... enjoyed it quite a lot!

-R



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