In 1996 a friend of mine introduced me to her new-boyfriend's brother, we started dating and spending a lot of time together, when
he wasn't at work. D and G (brothers ) shared a 2 bedroom apt. Three months into the relationship with "D" , he decided to spent a day with a
female friend of his ( we had plans that same day ), I got very upset because "D" broke our date and he was no where to be found, at that point.
When he finally showed-up and told me where he'd been and with whom, I was
, I broke our relationship off, at that point. A week later, I
got a phone call from an ex, that I was hopelessly in love with, inviting me to his house and a party. I went, and partied all night ( house full of
people ), the next day I went home, "D" came pulling in behind my car, jumped from his car ,
at me, shoving me into the apt., building. When
I went to tell him it was none of his bussiness what I did, he punched me in the mouth, bloodlying my mouth and knocking 3 teeth loose, " D" ordered
me into my apt, following me in, then informed me that I belonged to him and I would do as I was told ,.... I was very scared of him at that point (
my x-husband had abused me during the 14 yrs., we were married , so I do fear abusive men ), a month later, " D" wanted to move in with me, at first
he begged me to let him move in, then he threw a guilt-trip on me, saying that if I was any kind of a desent woman/ girlfriend and had a heart, that I
would let him move in, he said that " G" wasn't paying his share of the bills, that he was spending his money on his "weed" and
"crack-coc aine ", and "D" was getting tired of spending all his hard-earned money towards bills, with nothing left over. "D" promised to
share in the bills if I let him move in, He hounded me for two weeks non-stop, until I finally gave in , that year for christmas "D" asked me what
size ring I wore , I told him my size, BUT I also told him NOT to give me a ring for christmas if it was a "symbol " for something. Christmas night
"D" , his two sons, my children, a room-mate, and I opened gifts. "D" gave me some nice clothes ( a little on the baggy-side, diamond earrings
and in between to shirts was a diamond ingagement ring. I freaked-out, I refused the ring but he begged and nagged at me until I excepted the ring.
Three and a half years later, we were buying a house on contract, the following six months was pure hell for me, he'd come home from work every
day, accusing me of everything under-the-sun , slamming me up against the refrig., and walls. I finally got sick of being scared of him and moved-out
while he was at work one day, and moved into my oldest son's house that was sitting empty at the time, two more weeks of "D" harrassing me to come
back to him, then he finally gave up, this was in Jan., 2000 . "D" and I DO NOT speak to this day .
April of 2000, I was introduced to a wonderful man, by "D's" ex-wife (first wife), we dated for a few months before Robert and I decided to live
together and plan to marry when he's finished paying his child-support, in about two years ,.... I have been blessed with a good man, finally, after
years of un-deserved hell and abuse, and I'm still doing as I had when I was with "D", but now with Robert, staying home and taking care of the
house and Robert. I do not work as I am disabled due to being a cancer-survivor .
All I'm trying to say from experience is this . Different experiences helps to make us growing and learn, never be afraid to experience new things,
but use common-sence when needed , look deep into your heart of hearts , for only you knows thyself better than anyone, do what you beleive is best
to do in this situation your in with your girlfriend.
I wish I had listened to my "inner-child" , I would have saved myself four years of grief with "D" and had put a restraining-order against him
after the punch in the mouth in 1996.
I doubt that you would need to worry about your girlfriend being abusive towards you, but it sounds as if she may be pushy, but who knows, it might
turn out for the good living together, but it may not either , :shk: