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What made you the person you are right now?

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posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 11:34 AM

Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow?

It was requested that I post a list of factors that made me, Me:
-Sick and tired of having meaningless conversations with my friends and family.
-Modern imperialism.
-Incompetent school system: this was probably the final straw. My history teacher made a list of "atrocities" in human history that did not include any racial conflicts. Everything he taught us made Americans and Europeans seem like the most virtuous and civic people in history. Under his teaching, Africans became the laziest people on the planet, the Chinese and Russians became history's evildoers, Jews became the saviors of the world, slavery should be forgotten, and other absurd crap. And after a while, you don't even need a brain to realize the bias that is promoted in the American school system.

What made you guys conspiracy theorists?

[edit on 9/26/2009 by die_another_day]

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 11:38 AM
From a young age I saw the *other side* of life.

I never stopped looking for the *other side*, even when I had a choice between donning *rose colored glasses* or seeing stark reality and then the layers under it.

From then I actively searched to find what was *under* the candy wrapper, what was behind door number three, what I could hear if walls really could talk...

A childhood of living in a fancy painted hell pointed me in those directions.

But I’ve never regretted it for a moment.

EDIT: IMO this is a great thread.

I'd love to read how each and every person here on ATS will answer your question.



[edit on 26-9-2009 by silo13]

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 11:48 AM
reply to post by die_another_day

the loss of business, personal possessions and family over a three-year period have had a positive and profound affect on my personal growth. not only have i evolved as an individual w/a different perspective on life giving up hate, bitterness and resentfulness i have lost the desire to have material things. i concentrate on what matters to me. agapa love and forgiveness. i live a simple life w/little wants.

as far as being a conspiracy therorists..................well, the rabbit hole i was put in the path of back in 2003 and fema coffins in georgia discovered in madison georgia in 2002

let me not forget the chemtrails over the north georgia mountains first seen in 2000.

all these events coupled together have had a profound affect on my life and how i live today...................simply w/no hate, no bitterness, no resentfulness. i simply let go.

all is well with my soul.

[edit on 26-9-2009 by musselwhite]

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 12:07 PM
I've always been interested in the arcane and the occult, the macabre and the malign. I grew up in the 90's watching things like SIGHTINGS and the X Files, I loved the Twilight Zone and any other show that dealt with similar subjects. I read books about all kinds of things and my favorite holiday has always been Halloween.

This history predisposed me toward a conspiracy theorists sympathies. As time went by I was somewhat interested, but too young to care much, until 2000 with those infamous hanging chads. I knew, without knowing why, that there was something else going on. Looking back at that now it seems pretty insubstancial but when I was 12 it was a very big deal to me.

So my interest in politics was peaked, then in 10th grade I heard the word Illuminati for the first time. I stayed up until 5 the next morning reading, browsing websites such as this, and becoming more paranoid by the minute. Most of what I read that night was somewhat over the top, but it got me hooked. Since then I've never turned back, I've had to learn to weed out the BS from the genuine information; that's part of what's kept me interested though.

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 12:18 PM
How much sense my response makes depends on how you actually view conspiracy theories in the first place. Whilst there are conspiracy theories I definitely subscribe to, there are many, many that I don't believe at all.

However, my real interest in conspiracy theories is why people actually believe them anyway and as such the actual conspiracies themselves, in the sense of whether they are 'true' or 'real' is in many ways secondary.

I actually came to conspiracies through things like folklore (the Readers Digest 'Folklore, Myths and Legends of Britain' was a big influence in the 1970s) and the large 'The Unexplained' part work that came out in 1980. Even the work of Von Daniken was a big influence on me in the early 1980s. Even though much of seemed a bit of a stretch then, it still opened my mind to 'possibilities' and 'what if'. Or perhaps Von Daniken et al stopped it closing? Perhaps the child-like curiosity and a sense of 'wonder' that we all have as kids but many seem to lose by the time they become surly or 'cool' teens didn't leave me because of these interests.

For me, back then, conspiracies were pretty much part of the same continuum as things like ghosts and UFOs, and to an extent, they still are.

Around about 1983 and 1984 political conspiracies started to become more solid - just around the time I started becoming interested in politics generally - through the likes of Private Eye magazine at grammar school. It was there I also became aware of class division and the 'us and them' mentality that feeds a lot of politics and business generally as well as out-and-out conspiracies. Then, when I discovered the Fortean Times a few years later (around 1987) this ramped up my general interest in all these areas. Around this time I became fairly interested in the occult which whilst not always strictly relevant, did help bridge that gap between merely being curious about things and actively engaging in things. If that makes sense...

[edit on 26-9-2009 by Merriman Weir]

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 12:36 PM
A life filled with suffering - experience with controlling forms of religion - vast amounts of reading while young - a general understanding of human nature - an excellent knowledge of history, geo-politics, and geography - being well traveled - some knowledge of economics and finance.

My life has been fairly well filled with extreme experiences, and I have sought them out.

I worked to understand, and refuse to believe - once I began to understand the nature of truth, that it is a personal choice - then I tried to understand universal truth, and came to the conclusion that we simply don't have the necessary senses, faculty or experience to determine the difference between one piece of knowledge and the next.

The best we can do is not filter any knowledge, but rather take it all in as possibility - then see what picture emerges from that knowledge. To filter out information became anathema - I absorbed all kinds of esoteric knowledge.

I have extensive understanding of the world that really is - the other side of the matrix of lies and deception - but my knowledge, and in fact the collected knowledge of humanity is negligible - to realize our ignorance is to further open our mind to learning.

So long as we are capable of taking in information without filtering, of allowing the possibility of anything without tossing aside data as false, or elevating it as truth - then we have some capacity to understand.

Those who hold beliefs limit their understanding by filtering incoming data - they then also must convert the data into true and false, because logic requires binary inputs, and beliefs are a platform on which to build logic.

Only when logic is put in its proper place, as a necessary but imperfect method of thought can the mind begin to apply right side parallel processing, intuitive leaps - and joining the dots of things far too murky and indistinct to be resolved logically.

I don't consider myself to be involved with fringe thinking, but rather true thought - holistic thought (intuitive and logical having equal value) highlights a lot of things that are not at all hidden, but rather ignored.

Holistic thinking automatically treats all information as possible - therefore conspiracies, ET's (and other idea's that are usually rejected on the basis of peoples beliefs) are given the same approach as what is commonly accepted. The 'credibility' of an information source is rarely useful in determining its practical application, or its value.

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 12:39 PM
reply to post by die_another_day

I was born the person I am but life's experiences have corrupted that and I am in a constant struggle to regain the "real" me.

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 12:40 PM
reply to post by die_another_day

My successes, failures, the people I surround myself with, the books I read, and

family especially my parents who influenced me the most. ^Y^

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 12:42 PM
trials, tribulations and the denial of ignorance

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 12:52 PM

Originally posted by MissSmartypants
reply to post by die_another_day

I was born the person I am but life's experiences have corrupted that and I am in a constant struggle to regain the "real" me.

Ya know, whilst reading this thread i was trying to figure out a way to tell my story.....until i got to your post! Its amazing how a simple sentence can have a profound effect on another person........because thats EXACTLY how i feel right now in my life.

Many thanks for your short quote Missy, be safe and i hope you find your way my friend


PS, my story is very very long....ill put it together tonight and share it :-)

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 01:09 PM
Thru my experimentation with different types of lifestyles, esoteric disciplines, shamanism, and psychedelics, I have learned that the world we perceive thru our 5 senses is just a tiny fraction of the true reality.

Man in his present form is just to primitive to actually conceptualize the true reality. I have only glimpsed a little and from what I have discovered; the implications are so bizarre and twisted that I don't want to learn anymore. I have already seen to much.

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 01:16 PM
What a great thread idea!

For me, it was a feeling of constantly feeling as if I was living outside of a box and looking in.

It was a feeling of 'there has to be more than meets the eye', thinking about the control that certain factors try to exert every day upon our lives, like religion, government, laws, secrecy..

Ever since I was small, organised religion, mainstream media, 'the set way to do things' were always something I objected to..

Really it was the simple question 'WHY?'
Why do this that way? Why do people blindly think this or that?

I've always been a big reader, and since reading 1984 at age 14, I just devoured book after book to do with alternative topics and alternate ways of looking at things...
Seeing my first UFO really turned me on to the world in the shadows, it's how I first found ATS!

I suppose I was always one to try and sniff out the truth, keeping my head down whilst others follow the crowd..

I don't lecture, I just point out alternative angles, and see if people climb on board! It's always been the way I've been..

Oh and ATS, you're all awesome! A great bunch of thinkers!

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 01:37 PM

Originally posted by die_another_day

What made you guys conspiracy theorists?

A lack of trust.

No lack of Cannabis.

Plenty of non-conformity.

[edit on 26/9/2009 by nerbot]

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 01:55 PM
I just always had this feeling of being different, I thought differently than my friends, I have a natural rebellion to authority, I question everything always have. This place was the first time I found like minded people who had some of the same feelings I had. Guess the answer is more like its not whats made me who I was, its what takes away from me being the person I am spose to be, trust no one, deny ignorance!!

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 01:57 PM

Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow?

Every single experience that I have ever been a part of has made me grow.

You cannot pinpoint these things, its' a combination of ALL of it that makes you who you are today.

Even without the smallest of experiences, you could be a totally different person.


[edit on 9/26/2009 by tothetenthpower]

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 02:48 PM
For me it began in childhood. I was an intelligent person in a family where intelligence wasn't just frowned upon it was ridiculed in a kind of reverse snobbery. I recieved the nickname 'Jinx' from my siblings and 'Jona' from my dad. so I kind of never really got any positive re-inforcement. This little true story sums up my upbringing. It's a bit of a confessional that came up in therapy last week!

I used to walk along the pavement holding my mums hand but I would be on the outside closest traffic. I was perhaps 7 or 8 and whenever people had to pass us on the pavement going the other way my mum always made me walk in traffic. If a kid younger than me needed to pass by she would say 'you've lived longer years than that kid so it would be better if it was you that got run over by a car.' Then an elderly person would squeeze by and I was in the road again this time 'because they don't havy many years left'. I never did find the right age where I was allowed to walk on the inside of the pavement.

My 'awakening' on the other hand came about from several incidents stretched over a long period.

Firstly Thatchers underhand way of securing election victory with The Falklands War. I think I was eleven and I appalled my parents by saying i was no longer a tory supporter.

Next it was the reading of The Illuminatus Trilogy and the indulging of an old old herb. This line from the book just shattered my brain into a new paradigm- No Spitting by order of the Mgmt.

Later, while working in Xian I eventually came to believe what my Chinese colleagues said about The Terracotta Warriors. Namely that none of them were original or intact when uncovered, they weren't stood in marching formations they were little smashed up pieces of clay glued back together. They were also adamant that many of them were made in the 20th century. There were many statue casting factories nearby. With the right cash you could ship one home. It made me realise you can't trust history for history is only ever written by the victor.

Next I met Fidel Castro in China and he always had a coke in his hand and some big american ex military bodyguards around him! And he stayed in an American hotel, while buying arms on a so called cultural visit. That left a really bad taste in my mouth, the hypocrisy made me so angry.

Due to an accident I was eventually Medevac'd out of China and upon lying down in the back of the ambulance enroute home from Heathrow i could see the sky for the first time since going to China. It was such a bright deep healthy vibrant blue, that it warmed my heart after all that time under a cloud of pollution. I could also see green treetops on my ride home. Not a single tree in Xian had been any other colour than a browny grey. It just blew me away (I expect the pethidine helped), I couldn't stop thinking about it and hobbled out the next night to watch, really watch the moon for the first time. From there I was bitten by nature, by science, by the pursuit of answers for answers sake.

And finally all vestige of doubt slipped away as I began my own proper research. It was during this period that I finally found Bill Cooper and also Cathy O'Brien and Mark Phillips. I've been preparing for the orwellian nightmare future ever since.

Wow where did all that come from? I hope i didn't bore you too much. It was very cathartic to me so thanks OP.

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 04:29 PM
The fact ive just had another relapse from Alcohol, mostly from going to the pub and encountering allsorts of everyday folk who are ignorant of the world around them.
I went to a football (soccer) game today which turned out into a brawl at the end of the game for no real reason, other than one of the players was being pushed around, which is to be expected anyway as its a contact sport. Theres too much expectation put on people these days to be everything there not and the NWO is influential everywhere.
Sadly I let my guard down this past week and have suffered as a result, I now know I wont be frequenting Pubs again as I dont need alcohol or stimulants to influence my thought process, why should I need intoxicants or social acceptance to validate who I am, I would rather save my cash and make myself a better person by learning through thought and reason than through acceptance.
I guess at the end of the day all I really need is ATS and a good book, than Beer and throwing up.

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 04:51 PM
I was born this way. I always questioned everyone and everything. I was always upset by the unjust. I have always stood firm in my beliefs and stood my ground. My mission has always been to simply do my time causing as little damage as possible along the way.

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 05:12 PM
i discovered one conspiracy and this lead me to all conspiracy forums

i don't buy into all conspiracies, until researched myself

and I'm only pro in pharma, depopulace and 'illuminates' at the moment

i don't even call then 'illuminates', just know there are people behind gov decisions, that has a lot of money

posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 06:40 PM
The way I am and the things I find fascinating, be it a Conspiracy, the Paranormal, even Human behaviour, came to me at the bright young age of 9.

Horrific as it may sound, I used to huff lighter gas, why? because my friends did it and I didn't know better, anyhow, I used to hallucinate after doing it for several months, sometimes I would get through 3-5 cans a day, nobody but my friends knew, then one day I had the biggest and worst Hallucination ever, before then they where kind of funny, but I found I could understand people and situations a lot easier.

Anyhow this one day, there I was lost in the world of never land, and I heard a noise sounding like a rope whipping tight, and in an instant my brain told me to tighten up, as I did thousands upon thousands of Piano wire type cables, came swinging from all directions, with huge weights on the ends of them.

In those seconds and even though it really wasn't real, I was convinced it was totally real, I was sliced by each cable as it hit me, each one travelling through my body, and each and every one of them felt real also.

Details get really gory and gruesome after that but I shall spare you the entire ordeal.

Anyhow after that single incident, I could tell when people where lying, didn't matter who it was if they even told a white lie, I knew it, I could watch the news on TV and read between the lines so to speak, we had a friend who became leader of the Liberal party, David Alton who visited us once or twice a week, I always liked him nice guy, but then one day just before an election (he wasn't leader at this time) he was talking to my Mum about what he would do if he was elected again as our local MP, promises etc usual political rubbish, and I was sitting listening and watching, and as he was speaking, it was like what I could hear was totally different than what he was saying, like he couldn't stop telling the truth, but lying from his mouth.

It was happening all the time, got me out of fights at School, helped me avoid dangerous situations on more than a couple of times, also helped me listen and see the World around me in a different light or from a different perspective than I had before.

Even now today everyday, it happens all the time, I can read for instance posts on here and see which parts belong, and which parts are added and false, like the stories can be immediately picked apart and placed back together in the right order.

I still can see a lie a mile away, and can also tell if a situation is not right and instantly know what to do to avoid it, my wife tells me it's like I run on instinct 100% of my life, I can tell if someone is upset before we even speak, or if someone is happy.

It used to be strange but now it's just normal to me anyhow, I've heard it all from I'm psychic, to I have a special gift, I have been told I can calm a room to a instant relaxing calm just by talking in a calm voice, even right after I walk into a room where people have been full blown arguing.

All what I said above is why I am into Conspiracies, Paranormal, anything unexplained or unjust, I am nothing special, never ever claimed to be.

What I firmly believe is, huffing that gas as I did, opened up something in my head that has never closed, to me it feels like it does to taste, or smell, I cant heal or do prophecy, wouldn't if I could, I cant really do anything to help others , apart from tell them what my instincts tell me to do when I put myself in their shoes, that works pretty well when it's genuine and not full of lies.

I know gone on a bit like I always do, but the question was asked, and that is what makes me what I am, and who I am.

It has lost me a lot of friends over the years because of lies ETC, but also has made me a lot of true friends, no enemies because I always have to tell it the way it is, and they end up understanding what I am saying, like the School fight thing I mentioned, we part with understanding and respect of a sort.

It gets on my wife's nerves sometimes, she tells everyone I have an advantage and it isn't fair in a nice way of course, she is a lot younger than I am.

But that is what made me the person I am right now, and back then, right through.

And no I don't claim to be anything I am not , I am a Husband and Father, and that is it.

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