Testimony for God for for the Brothers & Sisters in Christ here

For those of you who don't know me. I have been here at the ATS for like 3 or 4 years. I am a firm believer in Christianity and the bible. And I love God. God is the only real thing that have. God is the only one that is always with me. And God is the only person who forgives me for my mistakes. When I pray I know who I am talking to.

As for the testimony. I not going to lie I am am-barest to wright this. As one of the faith that I have. My spirit should not be so weak. The testimony I share is about not killing myself.

When I was younger I used to have a reacquiring dream of falling off a building and of course I would always wake up before I hit the ground. I remember sometimes to would be two people behind me, never pushing. I always fall on my own. I never knew what the dream meant. But I also remember that I used to have dreams that seam to come true. Until a cousin gave me a dream catcher then it all stop. But sometimes I would still have that dream.

6 months ago I got a job in a hotel that had four stories in it. On the fourth story I found out that there was a fire exit to the top of the building. The door was always open because people would sneak up there to smoke and drink and chill.

My girl fren (who I got back together with) broke up with me. Her and me been together for 2 years. She wanted to get marry and have kids and all that stuff. but she still broke up with me because she like another guy.

One way or another. I felt like crap. If anyone here ever been in love and lost, they know how I felt. I felt more alone than most because I don't really have anyone, not even real family. And the only church I have it seams is the ATS. To be honest I felt worst than I have in a long time. My chest felt like it was caving in, and I wanted seriously felt like dieing.

I knew that it was wrong, And I wasn't going to do it, at least I didn't think so. But the fact is I didn't want to live, I felt like dieing without a doubt. I never understood that dream until this situation happen. I could of actual ended my life in a way a dream was. I think God or Satan or showing me something that could happen. At the time I thought maybe I was supposed to end my life, that I also thought it was a test.

End the end I am still with the girl now, but she don't deserve me. I am a good god fearing man, I make mistakes. But end the end I am good. And I pray that God forgive me of my actions and my anger. God bless

Slybmatt you're childlike, so God will have much mercy on you. MO

But you shouldn't be with the girl if she's dating someone else. Don't let girls like that walk all over you.

pray for her soul and realize it's just a dream, nothing to be too ashamed over.

peace.

Lol I'm 26 and child like. You know what funny I know it to be true. But no she's not seeing anyone but me. But I would rather not talk about that. The only reason I even brave myself to talk about it is the message of testimony. I can only follow the heart. And the will of what I think God would want me to do. End the end I know now that the situation was not as important than the Goal of God.

Thats how I would feel if I lost the Lord God of heaven in my life .
He is the LOVE I searched for and desired and found not in this world ..my whole life .(but I was searching that love from the people of the world (wanting a man who would love me)
He is the security I searched for and found not in anything in this world (money,good job,having a hubby who would support me ) ...

He is that void I tried to fill with drugs,alcohol,sex,friendships,money etc etc.

He is my life .....and for him I will live ..for him I will die ..for him I will do the will of the father and put my will in the closet only to be opened when God says now I will give you the desires of your heart.......

My body,heart,mind and soul belongs to HIM (not to me) I am just a vessel for him .....so I will never again try and take my life (because its not mine to take) and I will never again look for love in the world (because I have found it in him) and because I feel his love I now know how to show that love towards others ....I will never again seek the things of this world because they do not make me feel better (but worse) they do not keep me humble(just the opposite) they do not give me peace (just the opposite I always worry about losing the things i have etc) where I know I will never LOSE WHAT I FOUND IN GOD through CHRIST JESUS who found it in his heart to give his earthly life for me ...I will return as best I can that same LOVE ...to the people of the world that the Lord has shown me while living in me and showing himself (his personality and his love and his attributes)

I am NOT WORTHY of all that he has done for me .and the world is not worthy of what he is doing for them ..(calling to them to show them the way to be spared total destruction on earth and in the afterlife)
BUt I will follow him (Follow the way that he teaches us to follow) regardless of what I lose or what happens ...

It (HIS LOVE) Jesus is a GIFT from God to man (what jesus did and why he did it and for what purpose it was done for) why wont anyone accept that gift ?
I just dont get it .

One more thing ...I did get a man who truly loves me (it is awesome) but still that earthly mate did not fill that void that I was needing to fill ..like I thought it would ..........
But knowing the Lord Jesus Christ in my life did fulfill that and I am no longer in search of any other thing to fulfill me (he is ALL I NEED)...


I wrote this because this was what I learned the hard way ..maybe it will help you ..

Lord,
For years I clung to man as my means of happiness
His love I yearned for
But It was always met with resistance
Because man is incapable of such of love
The only love they know is the fleshly carnal love
Which is insufficient to satisfy the depths of the soul of men
Fleshly man can only relate to what he can touch and feel as being what love is
Which is why I understand now that man must be born again from flesh to spirit
As the flesh and spirit are contrary to one another warring against each other
Lord I pray that you will not allow me to be drawn back into that worldly fleshly love again
Which is temporary and most certainly non satisfactory to the satisfying of the soul.
I pray you will continue to draw me towards the real spirit of love which is you
And is in me through the Holy Spirit of God
Whom you have sent as my comforter in this fleshly world .
And I pray that you will continue to fill me with your Holy Spirit
And use me to draw the children of the flesh to YOU
So that they too will know the spirit of love
That is from you and you alone
And is satisfying to the heart, soul, mind and flesh.
May the Lord God have mercy on man as the carnal man is in enmity with God .
And only through the Lord Jesus Christ will man ever know what real love is
God who gave his only begotten Son Jesus Christ showed us all the depths of his love, which is spirit and not flesh. He gave his soul to flesh to die to flesh so that we all may be spirits as God is spirit and his spirit is LOVE.For God is love and love is God.
Love Linda

[edit on 20-9-2009 by Simplynoone]