posted on Sep, 17 2009 @ 12:54 PM
For those of you who don't know me. I have been here at the ATS for like 3 or 4 years. I am a firm believer in Christianity and the bible. And I love
God. God is the only real thing that have. God is the only one that is always with me. And God is the only person who forgives me for my mistakes.
When I pray I know who I am talking to.
As for the testimony. I not going to lie I am am-barest to wright this. As one of the faith that I have. My spirit should not be so weak. The
testimony I share is about not killing myself.
When I was younger I used to have a reacquiring dream of falling off a building and of course I would always wake up before I hit the ground. I
remember sometimes to would be two people behind me, never pushing. I always fall on my own. I never knew what the dream meant. But I also remember
that I used to have dreams that seam to come true. Until a cousin gave me a dream catcher then it all stop. But sometimes I would still have that
6 months ago I got a job in a hotel that had four stories in it. On the fourth story I found out that there was a fire exit to the top of the
building. The door was always open because people would sneak up there to smoke and drink and chill.
My girl fren (who I got back together with) broke up with me. Her and me been together for 2 years. She wanted to get marry and have kids and all that
stuff. but she still broke up with me because she like another guy.
One way or another. I felt like crap. If anyone here ever been in love and lost, they know how I felt. I felt more alone than most because I don't
really have anyone, not even real family. And the only church I have it seams is the ATS. To be honest I felt worst than I have in a long time. My
chest felt like it was caving in, and I wanted seriously felt like dieing.
I knew that it was wrong, And I wasn't going to do it, at least I didn't think so. But the fact is I didn't want to live, I felt like dieing
without a doubt. I never understood that dream until this situation happen. I could of actual ended my life in a way a dream was. I think God or Satan
or showing me something that could happen. At the time I thought maybe I was supposed to end my life, that I also thought it was a test.
End the end I am still with the girl now, but she don't deserve me. I am a good god fearing man, I make mistakes. But end the end I am good. And I
pray that God forgive me of my actions and my anger. God bless