I did not understand the realities of what was happening to me at the time. All I knew was that there was a significant amount of coincidences
altering my perception of the world at hand. First there was an attack on my computer orchestrated by God only knows what, but now I believe that this
was unrelated to the job offer I was given at CENTCOM. The messages that kept popping up related to the Illuminati and the offer I was given two or
three days after this cyber attack was a job based out of Tampa, Florida but the headquarters was in Alexandria, VA. Many people speculate that there
is a huge influence of Illuminati activity in the Alexandria, VA area but I no longer believe there is an Illuminati or any secret organization
attempting to take over the world because no group of humans could keep that a secret. My mistake is that I equated the cyber attack or whatever it
was with the idea that I had been selected to work for a highly secretive organization. If I were selected for something such as this I doubt that
they’d use the internet because everything on the internet is traceable unless a multitude of proxies are used, and even then why would they lend
any credit to someone when that person speaks up or goes off the deep end as I did.
The job offer confirmed my misconception that I had been selected for this highly secretive organization, and that is when I really went off the deep
end. I believed that in fact, I, an individual that strived so hard to succeed at the time had been recognized and given the due credit that I
deserved. How wrong I was.
When I was roaming the streets believing I was on a mission from God, the Illuminati, or the CIA depending upon my perception at the time I saw things
that defied the laws of nature. My perception was flawed, my stable mind was gone, and I was seeing things that weren’t true in our physical world.
For a long time in fact I believed that this was all the work of the devil and today I still hold on to that belief despite what people may say to the
contrary. You can say that I am still delusional or whatever it may be but I experienced things that you have never seen or heard. At different points
when I was walking the streets I’d feel directed by the wind or by a stream of water in the gutter that for some mystical reason unbeknownst to me
had a outline of a shoe where no water was flowing despite that nothing was there to impede the flow of water. And everywhere I went there seemed to
be a relation between point A, B, and C. These things lead me to believe that I was being tempted by the devil but too stupid to realize it. I was
tested in a different way than Job had been by God and the Devil. Still today I feel as though I’m being tested, I’m being refined to be a better
person and possibly a true believer in God. I have enormous difficulty trusting that there is a God and I believe that this was a test to show me that
there is. Even today despite this I still feel that there is just something wrong with two entities playing a deadly game of chess with our souls. I
believe that all paths lead to God and I have trouble with any part of a Hell or a place where God allows sinners to be tormented for eternity. I’m
not denying the opinion that this was all in my mind, but I do feel and feel is the keyword that I have and had been tested. Even today I get antsy
with this feeling, such as a couple days ago when I had been up all night and the cable box powered on all by itself and I was watching a crazed
televangelist (Peter Popoff) talk about healing people with his miracle water. Throughout life I’ve always seen things that made me jump like when I
was sitting in the aisle of a church in New Mexico and the preacher raised his hand and all I saw was blood on it emanating from what looked like a
point where a nail may have been driven in, are these visions a defect in my brain or part of something I have yet to understand? I don’t know. The
mind of a schizophrenic is a fascina
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reply to post by 711heaven
You didnt finish the story...
It ended with "the mind of a schitzophrenic is a fansci".
Dont leave me hangin!
[edit on 16-9-2009 by jeasahtheseer]
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I don’t know where life will lead me, or if I’ll become what I hope to become but all I know is that I must keep striving or as they say, “Keep
on truckin.” I’ve been through a lot and perhaps my conclusion is stifled with inaccuracies, I’ll never know. What I do know is that I must
stick to my conclusion about this sequence of events because that’s all I can do. I no longer care about my credibility because creditability is
relative. I may never be offered another lucrative job or opportunity that is prestigious as the one I blew, but keep on striving is my motto so
therefore I will.
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