The Freak On The Phone

If it were me, I would ask to see his tally-wacker, and when he showed it to me, take the can of Sabre dyed gel pepper spray I have concealed in my hand and spray him right in the crotch and and then in the face. Then call the police, and tell them to look for the weird guy trying to wash his genitals in ditch/drain/fountain/Wendy's Sink.

Really though you should call the police, and maybe they can post a patrolman there for a bit.

Hi again, I hope you have decided how you want to handle this, but upon reading your new post I thought I would add:

It is not your employer who is being harrassed. You have to take care of yourself. If they monitor "smut sheets", good for them. You make the police report from your personal phone.

**I'm concerned because I got into a similar situation once, and didn't want to deal with it out of "politeness" and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. It went too far, and my parents stepped in, and thankfully. I didn't realize I needed help. The last thing he did was leave a copy of "The Collector", by John Fowles, on my door. My parents read it, and it was scary stuff. They took it as a warning. I think he was preparing to take me, because he "couldn't have me". People can get their heads in really weird places.

(I'm apparently in "mother hen" mode this morning. Sorry if it's annoying).
Let us know what you decided to do.

I agree with the posters above. The owner isn't the one in potential peril, excepting the financial exposure. 1) pull all the info you can from the cams. 2) Call the local law EACH and EVERY time the dirtbag calls or shows up. 3) It sounds like he is becoming more and more bold. The last is the most disturbing point. This guy seems to be seeking more of a thrill as time moves on.

Finally, forget about all the shoot in the leg/wounding advice. If you have to shoot, go for the center of mass. CoM is the biggest target, and has the most parts likely to be negatively impacted (pun intended). To make light of the security service commercials, when one hears "Dink's Security, is everything alright?", the appropriate answer is, "Shut up, I am changing magazines."

Good luck with it.

reply to post by Viking04


My husband had wanted me to go practice shooting when we got our first gun, after an afternoon of shooting it, I told him I felt I could safely protect myself when he not there/working at night. He wanted me to go over with him exactly what I would do, say I wake up and find someone is in the house with me, I said 'shoot them' and he said good, but where would I shoot them? Well, I thought about it and said that I would shoot them right in the face. He said I should shoot the knees or legs, but I am thinking that they are still going to be alive then, and can still hurt me or kill me with my own gun, so the face sounds better to me.

This is pretty whacked out OP. I'd go on the offensive and mess with him back. Probably not the best move for you however. Seriously, if this guy is calling you folks up all of the time and jacking off watching you, something needs to be done. Pack a camera to work. Who knows, you might get lucky and get his face or vehicle plates as evidence. Use your head, you can bust this guy if you put your mind to it.

It is your employer's responsibility to protect you from being harrassed at work - even by a stanger. You have a right to have the police involved, even if the boss doesn't like it. Also, if you are retaliated against (like fired or something) you can file a claim at the EEOC for hostile work environment / harrassment and your boss will be in it deep then. These are federal laws. You are protected from this crap.

reply to post by space cadet



'Face' is a small target, relatively. 'doubletapping' (two in the head) is great for movies, but for the average Jane (or Joe) out there, the target that you want, if available, is the Center of Mass. In regular people talk, the CoM is the torso, between the bottom of the throat and above the crotch. If you ever looked at a 'human' target sheet, the 'X-ring' is the center of mass. Truthfully, in a stressful shoot situation, you will probably pull your rounds high (normal for many), so if you think that you are aiming for the navel, you might give the badguy another nostril.

However, practice shooting that Center of Mass, lather, rinse, repeat.

Good luck with it.

Take a camera to work with you, and if you see him in front of the building again, or in your parking lot, take pictures. Call the police and give them the photos.

Having been a manager of a convience store I can tell you that this is what you need to do:
1) If this guy calls again, or shows up, not only call the police, but get other employees there with you as well. This way you know what you have some back up if it gets ugly.
2) Get a camera and take pictures. The more clear the picture, of say the face, liscene plate or even the vehicle is a good way to discourage such.
3) If he is calling, hang up and do *69 and get a trace started on the phone # from which the call is made.
4) Get your boss involved, if he does not, go above his head or file a complaint that he is not protecting you from harassment.
5) Also one thing that can be done, call the telephone operator. This way it is an option on finding out the phone number that is being used, and get you a name.
6) Above all else think of your safety. If you have a weapon, be sure you are prepared to use it, knowing you may kill the suspect.

These are things that you can do to protect yourself. Though I am more in favore of pepper spray myself.

I forgot one very improtant thing:
Get a notebook and DOCUMENT. Every time this guy calls, date and time, as well as what is stated by him. And put down if he shows up and is on the site. The more information you can get, the better, cause then you are showing a history of such.

Oh man, that sucks!

I do not know what else to say beside, if you do decide to carry pepper spray/mace, make sure it is the dye stain type, the pepper spray that leaves a huge stain on your stalker face or some pepper gel, same as mace but in a gel form. Has a longer reach and it will stick.

What ever you decide, good luck and god bless.

reply to post by space cadet


I'm onboard with LadyInWaiting....... You are not paranoid; There is someone out there affixing upon you OR your position. It isn't "just" a simple crush -- they are doing strange things and it sets off my protective alarms big time.

I humbly request that you make certain that your ingress and egress from your car to your work and back are secure. This is the place where people are vulnerable. Your darlin' can protect you (and I'm sure you can protect him as well) at home. The dangerous place is the distance between your car and your work. Once at work, you are safe.

Gather information about the phreak, but only if you can do it furtively -- don't make yourself vulnerable to this person. I would make it a standard to take down license plates of cars in the area that remain for more than 5 minutes.

Your employer has an obligation as well. They may not want the trouble, but they have an obligation to protect you, and to support you, given that you've never encouraged this person, but the weirdness occurs on their property.

As others have mentioned, the Police should be involved. They may not resonate as totally supportive, as law enforcement is geared toward action items, however registering a complaint might well set a precedence, or at least a record of engagement.

Please be careful. Whatever weaponry you are comfortable with, I would encourage you to carry, but only if you are SO comfortable that you are proficient with it. Defensive weapons are much more workable in a court situation -- capsicum (pepper spray), mace, stun-gun, etc. Make certain that what you carry, you do so legally, or law enforcement may focus on the weapon, rather than the freako that is stalking you.

This is a very scary situation. In your shoes, I might consider hiring a PI to follow the person, find out things. Knowledge is a good edge.

Please don't let them hurt you or yours. I know it feels like a lot of unwelcome crap, but there are off-kilter people everywhere. Some of them are dangerous, others not. You have to assume, I think, that they are dangerous. Hopefully, just an oddball that is harmless, however to assume that gives you nothing to act upon.

Be safe. Keep us posted.

Taze him. Or next time he calls tell him you have recorded his phone number, know his address, know him full name, know his license plate number, and you are going to alert the police. That will just scare him off though.

reply to post by space cadet


Okay, I have a few question for since I have been stalked before, I ask questions.

Does your hotel/motel's phone have Caller ID?

If not, why not, because most hotel/motel's now have a call registry of outgoing calls?

Do you have the front doors locked so that he cannot get inside easily?

Have you alerted the management of the hotel/motel?

Does the facility have security cameras and if not would the manager consider them?

Legally, there is not much you can do, until he does something, unless Law Enforcement in the area is strong on stalkers, not that he is necessarily stalking you, it seems as if he has an obsession with hotel/motel clerks, and I would not be surprised in the least if he does this to other locations where there is a female working alone.

You can call all of the other hotel/motel's and start a support network of warning calls when he starts.

Raising awareness of this pervert is the key.

Confronting him will do little to no good, because then you put yourself in jeopardy if he gets violent.

Your best best is ask a local Law Enforcement Officer to patrol your hotel/motel more regularly, this may deter him.

I want stalkers, rapists, and pedophiles on the terror watch list, but it seems Washington is full of those types so we would have an empty Capitol Hill.

An Introduction to Criminal Justice assignment I did, you might find this helpful.

As the Campus Security Coordinator I would want to inform the students of how to avoid being put in a hazardous situation without scaring them into unwillingness to walk across Campus. My first suggestion for the Public Service Announcement would be that any and all students should not travel alone when walking across Campus, walking to their vehicles, or moving about on Campus in any way at night.

This being said, you will notice that I never specified that females should not do this and that I said traveling alone is suggested against. The reason for this is very specific for multiple reasons. First and foremost the assignment does not specify that male or female are being sexually assaulted. You might be laughing at this that a male would feel threatened or actually be able to be sexually assaulted, but it does happen. The next reason I stated this the way I did is a gender complex issue.

If females are not traveling alone, they should be in groups of females together, or with males they know and they know they can trust 100%. In regards to males traveling together with other students, this works several ways. First, like I stated a male can be sexually assaulted, but my other reasoning which would not be explained to anyone except you reading this assignment, is that if several males are traveling together, they will be watching each others activities, they will be seen together if they are around people and more than likely someone will recognize one person out of two or three males if something does happen.

Another proactive measure would be to recommend for any and all students to have car keys in hand while they are walking to either their dorm or to their vehicle or any other part of the college Campus. This is to ensure that they are ready to go through whatever door they are going to quickly, it shows that they are alert and ready, it also makes noise so if they are one of the people sexually assaulting people on Campus it will alert someone to their presence (this part wouldn't be explained, of course), and last but not least car keys can be used as a last resort weapon if someone attacks them. I deliver pizzas for a living, and I walk across College Campuses all the time. All of these things are things I do on a daily basis to keep myself from being robbed or injured. I also train any and all new delivery drivers, especially women about these techniques to prevent harm to themselves.

There are of course other areas to consider when to comes to safety of college students on a College Campus. It can be recommended that any student desiring an escort to call Campus Security and this would utilize Campus resources in a proactive way to ensure safe passage for the students to and from their dorms. Keeping eye contact with a would-be assailant would be another recommended tactic to suggest to the students in the Public Service Announcement. This is recommended by Police Statistics as a crime deterrent. The reason for this is that if the criminal knows that he or she is being watched, and they are aware that you are aware of them that this lessens the chances of the crime actually taking place by 50%. That's a large percentage to knock the crime potential down to me.

I could literally write a 50 page assignment on this subject through having been put into or getting myself out of potentially hazardous situations as a pizza delivery driver. I will spare myself the cramps from typing so much and from boring you. A quick suggestion would to always carry a flashlight as a light source, and as a potential weapon if the need arises. Being aware of your surroundings and "taking mental possession" of wherever you are is a great idea. Taking mental possession is where you make yourself aware of every single person in the area you will be traveling in, noting any and all potential hazard areas IE : Dark or shaded areas, dead-end corners, or areas of seclusion, where no one can see you or hear you scream. Looking in your vehicle to make sure no one is in the vehicle before you enter it, and even looking in the reflection of the glass to see if someone is sneaking up on you is a great idea, the last part has saved me many times while delivering pizzas.

These are all areas that I train my fellow drivers when I take on a new employee to train as a pizza delivery driver. All of what I have said are ways to keep yourself from being a "helpless victim" and being a proactively secure individual. The rising crime trend data can be used to add to this announcement by selecting statistics that show or demonstrate all of the above ideas and show how they have prevented crimes from happening. In my own personal safety this type of thinking helped me in avoiding being robbed because I saw the potential robbery before it happened. The two individuals I noticed fit the exact description of the two teens who had robbed another pizza delivery driver at gun point only three weeks prior to an incident I avoided 9 years ago. I haven't ever had that problem again, because I know what to look for proactively. I am also a Security Officer at my other job and I use these techniques to see things before they happen.

Flagged, starred, and D.I.G.G.'ed.

Maybe I need to do a stalker thread in Relationships?

Stop The Stalkers

Read about my fight against stalkers here, since I was six years old.

Left-Wing, Right-Wing, This Turkey, Knows How To Soar Like An Eagle

Become a member of the Bully Pulpit, so you can debate me politically, if you do not choose membership in the Bully Pulpit, you can only read, and not post replies.

[edit on 7-9-2009 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas


We do not have caller ID, it is a switchboard and the only numbers it ID's are room numbers. We do have security cameras and doors, you must have a room key to get in the back or side doors, and the lobby doors as well after 11. But the lobby doors can also be opened by me or whoever else might be working. There is one weak spot in the camera system, an area which should be monitored but it not, but the guy was caught on camera already, the pictures were not that clear though due to his distance from them. He obviously either doesn't know they are there or doesn't care. I think he doesn't care. Mainly because you can clearly see the damn things!
While I was off of couple of days he was getting bold and calling in the daytime, this time a police report was made, the lady who had answered the phone just happened to do so while an officer was standing at the front desk (we had an incident, a guy died in the hallway of a heart attack apparently), she told the caller that the police were here and handed the officer the phone, the guy hung up, anyway the report was filled out and she told the officer about all the other calls and us seeing him outside. My manager has told us now to call and report it each time he calls too. So far he hasn't called me tonight, but he did call my relief help last night.

reply to post by space cadet


Okay, now that a report has been filed, when you call and report him being on the property, always refer to that report by number, and that Officer by name as well, and refer to the suspect's suspicious activity on the property.

You are not going to have a whole lot of luck with starting a stalking log, since you work in a motel/hotel, the man can claim he was considering getting a room, and changed his mind.

But, I do suggest you start one anyway, it might just save your life, or put him away in prison if something does happen later, and he is caught.

A stalker log contains the following :

Date of Incident : Each incident is a separate incident, but tie them together through multiple incidents, use a notebook, only for this exact reason, no other notes of any kind, lends to credibility.

Time of Incident : When suspicious activity was first noticed, that specific date. As well, how long the incident took place, example he called and was on the phone for a half hour, ten minutes of it asking rates, then turned to nasty, abusive, sexual questions after the ten minutes and you hung up at that time

Description of Incident : Example, suspicious activity, harassing phone calls, use as many details as possible.

Description of Person : Example, black or white, tall or short (try to get an exact height), wearing a baseball cap or not, hair color, type of voice (rough, soft, squeaky)

Description of Vehicle : What color, make, tag number, if it has a dented fender or bumper missing, anything that contains descriptive elements which will assist Law Enforcement in identifying the vehicle.

Those are some of the things I can think of right now for a stalker log, I'm doing this post in a hurry, if I can think of more, I will post again.

I do suggest however, that you call each and every hotel, and form a support group, and suggest to them about the stalker log as well. Suggest to them to file Police Reports on each property, then once you have more than one, Law Enforcement will begin taking it more seriously, not necessarily like you or I would think they should, but once he becomes a blip on their radar, he will get caught.

I have been stalked, since I was a child of six, my father tried to kidnap me continually, so everything I am stating here in based on some kind of experience I have had in my past.

I now see stalkers in advance because of my unique knowledge and experience.

It was suggested to me by a friend that I should become a serial killer interrogator.

One final bit of advice, do not put yourself in a situation where this guy is close to you, whatever else you do, putting yourself in his control will guarantee you get hurt.

I do not want you to be hurt, please be safe, and feel free to U2U me.

I hope I have helped at all.

[edit on 18-9-2009 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

I don't buy it. There was a thead maybe a month ago. This lady said she
went to the store, in her suburban town. While she was there, this freak
storm gathered and knocked out the power. She described how nasty people suddenly got when faced with a little fear and
inconvenience.
Then a few nights ago i saw The Mist Steven King. The whole scene she described was right there for me to watch. Unbelievable the things
some people will do for the slightest little attention. I guess it takes all
kinds.
Wouldn't even be so bad if they could at least be original.

One of my signatures that is an original, I think applys.

You can tell how ignorent someone is.
By how ignorent they think everyone else is.

there are SOOOOO many things you can do, but here are a few suggestions.

INFORM UPPER MANAGEMENT:
If you have done nothing, and I mean nothing at all, to prompt the person(s) to be stalking and harrassing you, then you REALLY need to tell your boss. They are legally obligated to keep you safe.

RECORD THE CONVERSATIONS;
they make very afordable mics for phones, or you could even route the phone through a computer and have a program record. you might have a problem with this if all other non stalker related calls are recorded without the persons consent, but they wouldnt even know it was happning, so thats a gray area.

------
If it happens on a nightly basis, get some friends to come to work with you one night so you can confront this person.
------

file a police report and request that a patrol car stops by everynight. they are Legally obligated to do so when requested. this is actually your best bet because they will then be aware of your situation, and if you get a call, you call them on your cell phone and keep the guy talking for as long as humanly possible, so they have time to get to the hotel while this duche bag is getting his jollys off.

----
SWITCH SHIFTS - POSITIONS - HOTELS
seriously, no job is worth your life. It sounds like you work at the front desk. if thats the case then get someone else to work the desk (for even just a day or two) and you could go do something else where you are not awnsering the phone. if they harrass the other person as well, then Upper mangament would be required to take a proactive stance on the issue.

you can get a security Cam with everything you need for under 100 dollars.

---

Originally posted by space cadet
reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas

 

We do not have caller ID, it is a switchboard and the only numbers it ID's are room numbers. We do have security cameras and doors, you must have a room key to get in the back or side doors, and the lobby doors as well after 11. But the lobby doors can also be opened by me or whoever else might be working. There is one weak spot in the camera system, an area which should be monitored but it not, but the guy was caught on camera already, the pictures were not that clear though due to his distance from them. He obviously either doesn't know they are there or doesn't care. I think he doesn't care. Mainly because you can clearly see the damn things!
While I was off of couple of days he was getting bold and calling in the daytime, this time a police report was made, the lady who had answered the phone just happened to do so while an officer was standing at the front desk (we had an incident, a guy died in the hallway of a heart attack apparently), she told the caller that the police were here and handed the officer the phone, the guy hung up, anyway the report was filled out and she told the officer about all the other calls and us seeing him outside. My manager has told us now to call and report it each time he calls too. So far he hasn't called me tonight, but he did call my relief help last night.

If you have the times that this guy is calling, you can call the phone company and get his phone number, and possibly his name.

If you've encountered this person more than twice, then it's no coincidence in my book. If it started with phone calls then progressed to actually being on the premises, then it's no coincidence in my book. The persistence this person seems to show indicates that they're capapble of much more and are getting brazen. Sex and violence in the mind of a stalker never ends pretty for the victim. Call the cops. Buy a gun.


EDIT: Just saw your post about where to shoot an intruder (sorry, didn't read the whole thread). ...center mass. Always center mass. Also, shotguns are best for home protection. If you're into that sort of thing.

[edit on 22-9-2009 by Azuredrake]