**A Modest Proposal: Redux**

Any serious inquiry into the inner workings of American Politics will reveal, almost immediately, that, at it’s heart, ours is a system which requires checks and balances between two diametrically opposed philosophies: Left & Right. Any altering of the balances will effectively halt the process and cause chaos to result throughout the system. Recently though, an imbalance has occurred and so reoriented the spectrum that the damage may be beyond our undoing. Who are these dastardly culprits you may inquire?

Well, I’ll tell you who, . . . “The Liberal Media,” that’s who!! !

After winning the previous two elections, (likely through nefarious means - like counting the votes) the Leftists Democrats were so quick to try and change things for the sake of “the people,” that they failed to recognize that they were undoing the very fabric of our society. Did they not understand that by offering fair public alternatives to Private Health Care Insurance, that they were killing the “Free Market”???

Everyone knows that private industry can NEVER compete with public options because the public options Always cheat. Furthermore, “the people” are of no importance, let us not forget, America is not a Democracy, but a Republic. We were founded on Rule of “Law”, not Rule of “people,” and besides, these “people” have no business deciding what the “Laws” should be. That is obviously better left to us in the corporations. Certainly, if God did not want the corporations to create the Laws, then he would not have given us so much money and power, God helps those who help themselves after all, and who besides we corporatist have helped themselves to such a disproportionate size piece of the American Pie?

But then, the pinko Liberals had to go and have their “News” cronies report the statistics: 40 million uninsured Americans, a majority of bankruptcies in America are now due to medical expenses, and a majority of those bankruptcies come from families who HAD insurance, but were “under” insured; Insurance and Pharmaceutical profits quintupling over the last decade. Who in their right mind would go and report such things? Didn’t they understand that if these statistics were made public the people might actually read them? That is just plain dangerous, what did they expect would happen? The “people” can’t be trusted to analyze numbers, hell, they cannot be trusted to vote in the silly talent shows we provide for them as distractions.

Thank God in Heaven Above, for the Republicans though. They are just as bad as the Democrats in most instances, but some quick thinking activists such as Ruch Limbaugh, and Betsy McCaughey, and groups like freedom works sprung like heros into action. They offered us an alternative to facts and figures. By confusing the debate with hyperbolic conjecture and misrepresentations they proposed that they would be able to wrestle the dialogue from the realm of reality and bring it to it’s rightful place in the world of absurdity and political bombast. Yes, if not for these Glorious Patriots, someone might have actually debated the pros and cons of reform, and missed out on the fun of gladiatorial politics.

The masses ate it up just like they said they would. I must admit I was worried after the last two elections, but between the cries of SOCIALISM, NAZI, TRAITOR, and TYRANT, the message somehow got through. I especially liked it when the former Governor of Alaska called a provision in the bill which called for Insurance to cover Doctors consultations with elderly patients regarding end of life options - DEATH PANELS. After that there were even some people showing up at town hall meetings carrying assault rifles, I tell you, it was brilliant.

[edit on 24-8-2009 by Artephius Abraxas Helios]

(cont)
“Death Panels”she said, and that was exactly what they would have been too. Of course not like the people thought, no instead it would have been the death of our profits by denying claims for such ridiculous measures. Who actually cares if “grandma” wants to sign a living will. Not me, or any of my friends I guarantee. If the old bag wants to hang on forever on a machine I’d be for it as long as I own the machine. Dead patients rarely pay as well as the living I always say. Furthermore, I see no need in providing these people with the ability to die with dignity. By the looks of their bank accounts few if any of these miscreants lived with any dignity. You can tell right away they are lazy and ill educated, some of the people we call “americans” today, I tell you, some are even minorities. No wonder they elected a “half-breed” Kenyan man their puppet leader.

But now the dialogue is turning once again. The Leftists and their Godd*mn news trying to point out that it was the right wing activists that had been riling up the anger of the people in the first place. Can’t these swine see that they are ruining America? By the way these buffoons are espousing truth and reality if it mattered, one might actually believe they honestly want V.I. Lenin to wake up Joe Stalin and invade America!

So, my proposal: I propose that we not only do away with the debate on health care altogether, but we should cancel medicare, medicaid, VA benefits (I mean really, if they we’re dumb enough to sign up during a shooting war over oil and influence...do they really deserve free health care??), and cancel all existing policies. We can then mandate that everyone have health insurance, just as automobile insurance is mandatory, but this time we won’t have to haggle and bargain with these buffoons. Tell them to pay their premiums each month or lose citizen status and become an enemy combatant. Then, if they get sick, we can deny coverage to anyone who has ever had a policy canceled. I don’t know if you were paying attention to my brilliant plan, but the first step was to cancel all existing policies.

If we can do these things, then facts and figures will never matter again. The evil Leftists media can never again try and “balance” the issues in their favor. Thus, we bring the pendulum back from the leftists’ “brink,” and put it where it rightfully belongs: LOCKED OUR HANDS, thus protecting God, Freedom, and the American Way of Life for another generation of human cattle.
Sincerely,
TPTB

Mods...this is definitely in the wrong forum...please move this to the most appropriate forum at your earliest possible convenience. I apologize for the inconvenience.
-AAH

Great job, OP: flag & stars
I particularly enjoyed:

Furthermore, I see no need in providing these people with the ability to die with dignity. By the looks of their bank accounts few if any of these miscreants lived with any dignity.

ROFL!