Are you a victim of Child Abuse?

There seems to be an dramatic increase in child abuse in America. Is it the economy and stress? Alcohol and drug abuse?

My guess is that most cases of child abuse are never reported.

Personally I wasn't a victim of child abuse other than having my butt smacked when I misbehaved. That actually wasn't abuse but just strict parenting, but physical and emotional pain are a reality. Are you a victim of child abuse? Emotional abuse counts also.

[edit on 1-6-2009 by whaaa]

A victim? No...but I agree there is a huge increase in child abuse.
I can't put my finger on exactly why though...
Not just socio-economic factors, there is a rise in children being abducted just to be abused.
Too many adults on a power trip over a child. It's sick.
Not just physical either..mental abuse can be worse, and I know first hand.
It used to be a smack on the butt was a fine,working form of discipline.
Now you get arrested for it...is it abuse to discipline your child or not?
Is it not more abusive to let them run wild?
Over the years admittedly my forms of disciplining my children have become slack because I DO fear nosy neighbors who have 911 on speed dial. It has happened, and it can happen to anyone.
Then I have my older children saying to me.."Why don't they get punished like we did?"
Because Mommy doesn't want to get arrested for smacking their butts..thats why.
So look around you everybody...define abuse, define discipline..a fine, fuzzy line sometimes...
YES-Children have rights, not arguing that...
But now go ahead another ten years when these kids who have not been disciplined at all, for fear of abuse charges..take over society...PRAISE THE ANARCHY THAT WILL ENSUE.

Thanks for the input AD.

Here are some statistics that I think are shocking for a supposedly civilized country and my thinking is that these statistics are only the tip of the iceberg.

www.childhelp.org...

[edit on 1-6-2009 by whaaa]

Regardless of whether i was a victim or not there is a great increase in cases being reported but i don't think the amount has actually risen at all.

People just feel safer telling authorities now because there's a lot more procedures in place to keep the offender away from the victim for the rest of there life. Whereas before people would keep quiet because there was a good chance there attacker would find out they 'told' and make them suffer even more.

Not only that, since Dave Pelzer came out with his A child called it book there have been hundreds of people gaining the confidence to follow in his steps and write there own stories. Alot of these have led to there attackers, be it ten or twenty years, being put behind bars at long last.

I think all this adds to the reason for the increases in child abuse statistics.

[edit on 1-6-2009 by Somebodyelse7]

Is there an increase? Or is it better reporting etc?

2nd line - Well because that is a real question but it seemed a little black and white given the subject

reply to post by whaaa



Regardless of if I was or wasn't,I think this is a very personal question that doesn't need to be asked or answered.

reply to post by whaaa


i tried to find a canadian equivalent to your info, but only found studies done 4-9 years ago....hmmmm....

Originally posted by DrumsRfun
reply to post by whaaa

 

Regardless of if I was or wasn't,I think this is a very personal question that doesn't need to be asked or answered.

Perhaps, but isn't your attitude, just sweeping the problem under the carpet and not even addressing an epidemic that is sweeping this nation?

Besides, anyone uncomfortable with discussing this topic will just ignore this thread anyway.

[edit on 1-6-2009 by whaaa]

I have to admit that I was an abused child , I'm now 38 and realising that I was abused , not physically but emotionally, by my Father,
I have a twin brother who was born 10 minutes after me, and I have since found out that he was the favourite, My mother used to tell me stories that my Father would berate and belittle me when I was a child and to be honest?
I am a better person for it , sounds weird I know but see it from my perspective, I have almost NO memories of my Father being at home, only a few scattered good memories, the moment I became aware of the person I was was when I was 11 , my Mother sat me and my brother on the sofa and told us " Daddies not going to live here anymore " It was like the cutrain being pulled back from the darkness and the light of life rushing in.
I felt liberated.
I am a better person for the abuse because I have sworn NEVER to treat people or children like I was. Have never do so either.
It made me the person I am today.
I have no regrets for my brother being the favourite or my being emotioanlly abused because I understand myself. I also have a laugh becasue my brother is still the favourite and treated like a child, where as I'm married to a wonderful woman and he has no one to care for. Still living at home with Mum makes him a very sad child at 38 .
I never will agree with abuse on any level. but it makes you who you are today.

I believe that anyone who was forced to endure faith-based education as a child could be seen as a victim of child abuse.

Richard Dawkins really highlights it well in "The God Delusion"

Originally posted by DataWraith
My mother used to tell me stories that my Father would berate and belittle me when I was a child and to be honest?
I am a better person for it , sounds weird I know

Good share man

On a smaller scale I guess I the same happened to me, and in turn I pass that on to the kids I'm related to, I'm the fun uncle so I have a bit of space to be 'cruel and unusual' - being prepared for the world is a good thing... And plus kids are smaller than me

P.s. I gotta say real cruelty is a very bad thing - just to make that clear

A lot depends on how you define abuse. Bear with me, I may take a bit of time to get to my point.

I used to imagine that abuse meant being molested by your dad, left alone for hours in filth or not being fed.

Then I went to get some therapy for depression and saw a woman who assessed me before referring me on to a therapist.

On my way out I asked her, out of interest, how she would rate my childhood on a scale of 1 to 10 - abuse wise. I was shocked when she suggested 8 1/2.

It's easier for me to believe that she had led a sheltered life than to accept her assessment. I kept thinking to myself that I knew it was bad, but surely not that bad.

I suppose I was thinking of all those poor children in third world countries or the little ones in the first world who made it into the newspapers and I didn't feel nearly as badly off as any of them.

What I couldn't see was the level of neglect because I had nothing to compare it to. It was an absence and I couldn't see that something was missing because I'd never had it.

Because I was reasonably well clothed and fed I didn't realise there was any neglect. I think the expression I need is 'no frame of reference'.

The physical abuse was easy to recognise, but I can almost defend my mother on that count. If she hit me, the punishment was over and done with and we'd move on.

If she was the sort of parent who would withhold my pocket money if I was naughty I don't think I could have borne it. Imagine misbehaving on Monday and your Mum would have to remember it all week until Saturday when she would finally punish you.

Harsh at it was to be hit so often, just because she didn't like the look on my face or she thought I was being 'defiant' at least it was over quickly.

The real problem was that she'd always hit my head. I fractured my skull when I was about nine and yet her preferred form of punishment was always a belt round the head.

And yet.... so much less humiliating than a slapped backside.

She was verbally abusive too. I once started to write down all the names she called me and the negative remarks she repeatedly made. I filled a side of A4 paper (narrow lined) and had to turn over to continue listing.

I've turned out to be an extremely independent person - I was planning my 'getaway' from about the age of 10. I'm reclusive and introverted but don't see those as negative qualities.

As to whether or not there is more abuse today, we come back to the question of what constitutes 'abuse'.

Much as it's easier to report abuse now, there are some behaviours that used to be taken for granted but are no longer acceptable.

I haven't listed anywhere near all the things that went on in my childhood, but I think I've given enough to illustrate my point.

And even though I was planning to get away when I was old enough, there is no way I would have wanted to be taken away from my Mum before I could support myself. There was a constant threat of that over-shadowing my childhood from about the age of 9 or 10 and it completely undermined my sense of security.

I really think that taking children away from abusive parents should be the last resort. You have to separate the person from their behaviour. The best solution, to my mind, would be to educate or rehabilitate the parents.

Although it's not okay to talk about personal stuff on open forums,

from the friends I've had and some observations, it seems that parents who are stressed about jobs may snap more easily.

So I'd say it's the economy. But then again, when things were alright economically 50 years ago, there was still child abuse.

Originally posted by DataWraith
I have to admit that I was an abused child , I'm now 38 and realising that I was abused , not physically but emotionally, by my Father,
I have a twin brother who was born 10 minutes after me, and I have since found out that he was the favourite, My mother used to tell me stories that my Father would berate and belittle me when I was a child and to be honest?
I am a better person for it , sounds weird I know but see it from my perspective, I have almost NO memories of my Father being at home, only a few scattered good memories, the moment I became aware of the person I was was when I was 11 , my Mother sat me and my brother on the sofa and told us " Daddies not going to live here anymore " It was like the cutrain being pulled back from the darkness and the light of life rushing in.
I felt liberated.
I am a better person for the abuse because I have sworn NEVER to treat people or children like I was. Have never do so either.
It made me the person I am today.
I have no regrets for my brother being the favourite or my being emotioanlly abused because I understand myself. I also have a laugh becasue my brother is still the favourite and treated like a child, where as I'm married to a wonderful woman and he has no one to care for. Still living at home with Mum makes him a very sad child at 38

.
I never will agree with abuse on any level. but it makes you who you are today.

Amen. I agree with you exactly. Abuse should not happen, but it made me aware at a very early age that I am strong and can be self-reliant. It made me realize that I cannot always trust those closest to me. It depends on if I get that "feeling". I still trust that feeling today. So congrats to you for realizing that abuse causes you to learn your strengths.