I wanna hear stories.

Has anyone of you been in or are currently in a relationship with someone who is the EXACT opposite of you? And how is it working out?

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


I'm generally a laid back introverted type of person. I prefer, and have been the happiest with extroverted, outgoing women. I guess it's good to balance things out. Not sure if it works for everyone but it works for me.

What do you mean by "exact opposite" ?

Sado-masochist

jock-geek

attractive-dog

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My GF owns a pistol and I don't but she is compassionat, loving, generous, IQ of 130, hardworking, beautiful and ambitious.

I'm mostly just dazed and confused. But with moments, usually brief, of absolute brilliance.

Why do you ask?





[edit on 9-5-2009 by whaaa]

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


Hello Jess....how are you hunny?

I thought I would write, as I've been pondering this very point a LOT recently. I'm married, to the person I absolutely want to be married to, and would die if anything hurt us, but we are complete and utter opposites in very many things. He is messy, lazy, disorganised, easily stressed, lacking in any kind of attention to detail, and largely insensitive to many things that really get to me. He's also clever, extremely funny, sociable, immensely kind, and I couldn't be without him. It does cause problems though, and I've come to the conclusion that I can cope only if we have much more space to live in. We need separate areas a lot of the time, and there are so many parts to his life, that it's slowly taking over the whole house, garden, car, routine, finances, everything, and I'm feeling like I could scream.

As far as our personalities are concerned, I have no worries...we will always be fine, but it's the physical mess, clutter, disorganisation that is making me ill, literally. I know it sounds like a minor point, but I want to spend the next 50 years with him, and I need to make it manageable. I cannot live like this.

So...that's my solution to what many people would think a minor problem, but it's not....space...and lots of it. I don't know how I will do it yet, but I know I will. I hope it just doesn't sound like a rant. I have been trying really hard to sort it out.

Does this help? Are you ok?

Doesnt sound like a rant at all Caitlin! Thank you for sharing!

I asked because ive been with someone for 4 years and I never really realized how different we were until I had a debate with him. He has absolutely different veiws on everything than me. Doesnt believe in aliens or ghosts or anything paranormal. Pretty much the complete opposite.

So I wondering if someone else had spouses who were the opposite and exactly how was it working out for them.

As for me it usually works out fine but we do tend to butt heads on alot of issues.

Thank you all for sharing!

I have been in the same relationship for 12 years. I am 27. We are complete opposites, and everything works out fine for the most part. She has no ambition to accomplish anything in life. I had been accepted into a few programs away from home, but never taken them as I cannot leave my kids and she refuses to move. I believe in other dimensions and paranormal activity and am highly sensitive to foreign entities. She chooses to ignore those subjects and that, I believe, is why it works. When I am in need of intelligent conversation, I come here. But 12 yrs and still going strong. Can't complain

For me..the opposite bit is fun in the short term, but doomed in the long run...

There has to be some common ground (at least for me) to preserve a long-lasting relationship... Some differences? Sure...but too many, and you start to wonder what the heck you're doing together...

It's funny with me and the wife though...we're opposite some times, but in different settings. For example, my wife loves the spotlight if it's somewhat crowded (for example, on stage, where I'm more content to be an extra or prop-hand). However, put her in a room with just a dozen people, and she'll clam up (whereas I'll get to know people).

I had a 3 year relationship with a girl who was the total opposite of me.
In the beginning it was a very strong relationship.The idea of being with someone like her and for her to be with someone like me was exciting.
We slowly drifted apart because of our differences and it ended VERY badly.


They do say opposites attract and I think that is true...but is it a good thing??
I agree with Gazrok...short term yes long term no.

Me and the husband has very different views on many topics, but we are more alike than we are different. I don't think being with someone completely opposite of me would end up in a lasting relationship, we'd probably end up fighting alot...but that's just me..

Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
Has anyone of you been in or are currently in a relationship with someone who is the EXACT opposite of you? And how is it working out?

Yes. Oddly enough. We are both intensely spiritual but I am a student of the dark arts and he is a practing and deeply committed standard religionist.

Makes for interesting dinnertime conversations at the very least lol.

he is a (more-well-established) ATS member as well, so we do have that in common too...he introduced me to this board and I lurked for awhile before getting hooked on this place so I decided to join.

We both consciously decided and verbally agreed not to try to "convert" each other to our essentially opposite paths, but rather to learn from each other. There is also the knowledge that our love cannot last forever, because as a servant of the dark Ancient Ones I perform rituals that require me to intermingle my flesh with others. I have held off on this for now to be faithful to this man for awhile, but I had to let him know that eventually I will return to my ritual practice, and this is somehting he cannot accept, to share me with the others. Even though in ritual it is not about "love" or relationships, it is about Energy and Power but he cannot understand that. So eventually I will leave. I know it is hurtful to him but I cannot help myself, I fell for him really hard, its a big conflict.

I don't know, its really passionate and intense now but I have the sense it will end badly...

[edit on 16-5-2009 by Goatflesh Gnosis]

Often in life the things we find attractive in a Partner of Love interest or even spiritually in a Guru, the thing that gives us the attraction above and beyond any physical thing is easily realised.

We obviously like someone who make us feel better, or supports our "personality" makes us feel special and appreciates us for our own quirks, and style etc....

but the deep and large driving part, the thing that really makes them attractive to us is is actually what we admire in the other, their strong points of traits or parts that we subconsciously wish we had ourselves and even in a cold way of lookig at it we are actually jealous of....

We notice and moan about their personality traits and habits styles that we dont like and dont want, but the thing that makes us tick dee down drawing us to them is their personality strengths we feel lacking in ourselves, and by being with them bask in this, or take on board some of those things.... also subconsciously creating a One from the two of those involved that we both feel would be the Perfect "Me" or "I" their good points making up for what we feel we lack mixed in with our good points making the perfect "I".

There is much wisdom in this.... so it becomes a balance then of how much they desire your good points and vice versa, against how much we and they dislike our and their bad points (which is all subjective anyhow, to someone else the good points could be seen as bad and vice versa) and as long as the buzz of the positives is more than the negatives the scoreboard stays winning as such for the relationship.....

It often leads to this discussion personified as talked about in real life "Opposites Attract" and all that....

I was once totally in love with an amazing woman, we were together for a long time and one day it sort of changed, and sowed the seeds for the breakup... one of my passions or beliefs I was talking about and she looked at me in the eye and said mockingly with real almost arragonce

You dont believe in all that do you surely?

Looking back

It was not the words but the way she said them, and the look in her eyes of ridicule that being older and wiser now I should have walked away there and then, not two years later as such, it was a spiritual matter, and I ma happy to say since that time I have been proved right in both my and I know now her experience to......

I know with hindsight that one thing tipped the balance and nothing of her positive qualities, and aham to be honest Mega hot attraibutes to... could tip the scorecard deep down when such a core and essential and deep belief of mine was not in harmony....

And belief is a strong word to think about in this regard to and is again words of wisdom, especially as over time we change as people so as our beliefs do so does the unconscious score card.

I know I couldnt stand dating a female version of me, maybe though thats because I do spend a lot of time analysing myself trying to see, subjegate and release my ego so maybe I am more aware of my negative aspects than most...

Yin and Yan eh

Elf

[edit on 30-6-2009 by MischeviousElf]

You wanna hear stories about couples who are the exact opposite of each other...ok then.

I am an Aries to the T and my husband is a Taurus. I am strong-willed and go at things full speed ahead, damn the torpedos. He is calm, patient, stubborn and likes repetitiveness. I dream all night every night. He never dreams. I love to play and spontaneity is my middle name. He is serious and abhors spontaneity. LOL I'm one year older than him but he looks ten years older than me.

Every now and then, we meet on that etherial plane where everything clicks in perfect synchronicity. Usually, we are butting heads and making mountains out of molehills with each other. But its always interesting.

I love him and he loves me back. That is what holds us together. We've been a couple for almost six years. He says we will be together forever. I hope he is right.

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


Yes, I was, and now we're divorced. But I have a great boyfriend now that I wish I had met ages ago.

My bf and I are considered opposites but we have some things in common but not many and we get along great. Right now its hard cause he lives 600 miles away but I think our different sides compliment each other. We are both outgoing so that helps but he is 6'6" and covered in tats and very loud when we are out. Everyone knows him, some think he is just crazy but he is a very lively person. We have very different backgrounds education wise, family wise and life wise basically. However for some reason with all the differences we are perfect for each other. Others even mention how funny it is we are together but it works and I couldnt be happier.

We dont always agree on things and we have very different views on many things but we respect each others views and opinions and it doesnt affect our relationship. He teases me for my interest in ufos, aliens and conspiracy theories but he is never rude about it. He knows thats how I am and he accepts it and vice versa.

The person I am actually living with now is totally opposite. We were going to get married a few years ago, but that kind of changed after we threatened to kill eachother a few dozen times. I am dark, evil and want to be alone most of the time. She is happy go lucky, drama queen, hates everything dark and evil and likes to point out that I have no friends per my own choice. She hates me and I hate her. We live together and it was the biggest mistake we ever made.

Take my advice...opposites attract but it will NEVER work smoothly in the long run. Stick to your own kind. If the woman/man you love only loves you because you are something they are not...it will always end up badly.

It seems to me that, no matter how similar/different women are to me they just don't want to know. Seems to me that you've got to be lucky to find love and then you have to work real hard at keeping it alive (or atleast that's my view on the world).

Rama.D Filofax on melancholy

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


Ive never been in a relationship with someone who is the exact opposite because that means they are extremely boring and intraverted. I think its good to have some opposited but exactly the opposite is probably not the best idea.

Well after almost three and a half years and love from one side it seemed, it has turned out horrible for me.
I never thought i'd date someone that was almost my exact opposite, but I did and it lasted far longer than I ever imagined. I should've ended it before I got hurt badly. Now i'm a wreck.
If I could go back I would've done many things different, like try to find more things to do together that we had in common.

Holy crap. Hubz and I are TOTAL opposites.

I'm vegetarian, he's a TRUE carnivore.
He's 15+ years older than me.
I've got a MS from college, he barely finished high school.
(Ironically) He makes a TON at work, I'm barely employable.
He hated animals (when we met) and I LOVE THEM (he likes them now of course).
I come from a small family, he comes from a big one.
He's fastidious, I tend to be a little more sloppy.
He loves watching sports, I loathe it.

And amazingly enough, the things we have in common are the most important. We're both EXTREMELY affectionate, have total respect for one another, make all decisions together, and are completely honest (good and bad).

Wouldn't change a single thing.

My hubby and I are a little opposite. I like to be spontaneous, etc. He prefers lots of space to himself whereas I do not require that. We have a lot of the same view points, so that is a good thing.

We can tell each other anything. We trust each other. We love each other a lot, so those things outweigh the parts that are opposite.

He's just really an awesome guy. Very smart, funny, etc. Without all of his qualities, he wouldn't be him...




I love the smileys on here...so i had to use some...hehe....