The UFO hunters hand-guide to capturing and exposing alien interlopers

Provided enough funding and a certain crazy-willingness to travel around to various UFO hot spots in a tow truck, with a boat trailer hitch (this is important), it might be possible to shoot down a UFO using a handheld heat-seeking rocket launcher. With a little luck, after landing two or three strikes, the alien-bastards ship would crash to the ground and, keep your fingers crossed , give up the ghost.

Provided the thing doesn't blow up, using a welding torch, crowbar, and shotgun (preferably double-barreled), the occupants would be forcibly pulled from the craft and loaded in to the passenger seat. If the UFO is small enough (say 20-30') this Mercs 2 Mattias-esque badass would use the tow pulley to load it on to the boat trailer hitched to the back of the truck. Sadly if the craft is in the process of exploding or if it's a 500' mothership it'll have to be left behind to, no doubt, be scavenged by the MIB. Don't forget to take a few UFO scraps for keepsakes!

Once loaded up call the hospital nearest to the TV newscasting facility to notify them of the near-dead occupants piled in the truck cabin and then conference in the broadcasting station to tell them to get a camera crew in front of the building, stat, to conduct the worlds first alien interview! Next on the todo list is to break out the ultra high-end video camera (or at least something with good minimum illumination). Record the flaming ARV; pose for a few shots with the out-of-towners; once you're done (don't take too long) pull out the SD card; duplicate it on your portable computer; stick the duplicated SD cards / UFO scraps in pre-written / stamped envelopes to all the major news networks and drop 'um in the nearest mailbox. With that wrapped up the only thing left to do is drive. No doubt law-enforcement types won't take kindly to flaming alien debris flying off the tailgate. So it would behoove this individual, fine upstanding citizen that he is, to come prepared with a bit of extra weaponry to blow out tires and fend off angry police officers.

Last but not least once securely in the broadcasting station our intrepid hero will have to conduct a bit of due diligence to make sure the reporters are living up to their end of the bargain and not simply taping the recording. If necessary take hostages and make sure to bring a portable TV system to confirm that they aren't lying about their "live" broadcast.

In the end, between the military and the rightly angry aliens, our protagonist will have to decide to either use the remaining ammo to make a break for it or allow himself to be apprehended "for great justice."

*takes a deep breath*

And that folks is how you expose the UFO cover-up .

[edit on 22-3-2009 by Xtraeme]

According to UN rule you have to kill the aliens.

Good luck.

Originally posted by Grey Magic
According to UN rule you have to kill the aliens.

Good luck.

Hey I'm just the idea-guy, someone else gets to play the crazy homicidal maniac. If the RPG kill ratio is 1 for every 2 is that good enough?