posted on Jan, 25 2009 @ 01:45 AM
I consider myself a person who thinks life (at least mine) is completely crud, but perhaps that's just because the thing I value most in life at the
moment is love, which I totally lack. (I'm talking about relationship love, not family love or whatever.)
There is a good thing to this however, as this big gaping ''hole'' that lacked any type of love during puberty is slowly turning me into a
bitter/neutral man, so in the future I might not give a damn about it anymore lol.
But I notice that a lot of the times ''being happy'' depends on the moment.
Eg.: If I'm at school talking to people, I'm busy talking so there's no time to feel sad, so in general there's a ''normal pleasant
However when a girl I really really like thinks it's necessary to send me a text message saying she wasn't responding because she was having sex
with her boyfriend, hell there's no way I can be ''happy'' about that, heh.
So I am currently working on an experiment, and if that succeeds, I will probably become the happiest man alive, though I doubt it will work.
If it doesn't, I guess I'll have to find something to keep my mind occupied for some 50 more years, as I think that's the key to happiness. Find
out what you desire most, and either achieve it or get so pissed over it that you start disliking it, so you can move on to the next desire.
Regardless of this big ''self-pity'' speech, I do consider myself a happy person, one of the reasons being that I can put up a happy face at any
time and pretend to be truly happy really well, and have been able to do that for at least 19 years. That and when someone asks how it's going I'll
almost never say ''no'', so I must have some kind of ''resource pool'' filled with happiness somewhere.
[edit on 25/1/09 by -0mega-]