posted on Jan, 7 2009 @ 09:24 PM
Well, welcome to Florida.
Florida is a tough state to make a living in and people are INCREDIBLY cliquish here, I've lived in Illinois(suburb of Chicago), Nashville, West
Virginia, Ohio, Kentucky and a I'm sure a couple more I forgot and all I can say is keep repeating to yourself that this is not the real
Seriously, Florida warped me, but I'm searching for advice I would've given myself if I did it over. Of course, myself in the harder core than thou
mindset of youth did not help...
Okay here is the change/actions "you" can make if you will listen to me...I probably wouldn't have listened to my future self back then so I won't
feel bad if you don't follow said advice.
1. Lighten up. Florida folk can't handle intensity, they just don't know how to react to it except "your weird". I will wave my freak flag high
but when back in Florida I developed an approach that helps me communicate better without changing who I am. My intensity of everything I do served me
enormously well when I left the state and people just see you as extreme rather than an aberration.
2. Why do you want to communicate to others? Do you fill unfullfilled/friendless? In comparing our similar situations I'd describe you as smart,
competent but does not communicate well with others. Do you want sex with a certain girl? Do you need approval? Needs DO NOT denote weakness...the
inability to recognise them because of our need to be the ideal man is dangerous. Learn to associate with people on a non-philosophical level...that
is one of my worst traps I worked VERY hard on overcoming. I use ATS and other forums to blow off my self-righteous steam. If you have any good indy
coffee shops/music venues those can be good places too...
3. When communications do not go the way you would like, change your approach. Period. Do not do the same thing over, this is not changing who you
ARE. If you need recognition/friends/whatever NEVER be afraid to go for it, and if you fall flat it is a LESSON and the longer you wait to do it again
and again the harder it gets.
4. Communicate with the opposite sex, ALOT. Popular/unpopular, doesn't matter. You will get respect from EVERYONE for your prowess. You don't gotta
sleep with em, you don't have to mistreat them. If you are not sure how, look at a guy/girl who is popular on their personality alone. Don't change
who you are, just change how communicate who you are. The person with the popularity does not necessarily denote bad, it simply means they are good
5. Learn from other peoples social mistakes. If you really LISTEN you will hear them. We humans are creatures of habit, you must override this
instinct of doing the same thing over in social situations.
6. Not knowing what to do is fine, not doing anything is not. Be spontaneous, BUT always conciously do a run through of what people will think before
you do it. It may seem contradictory but people who are spontaneous tend to have a massive database in their heads of actions, reactions and what
works. That's why they ARE spontaneous. We all come up with stuff off the tops of our heads, they know how to filter to the right ones at the right
7. Timing what you say is more important than what you say.
8. Body language is more important than what you say. When talking to women this is especially true.
Best of luck, you got hard times ahead, I know that for sure.
As always feel free to ignore the above advice, it MAY seem like common sense but think about how often people show no common sense. Work on one area,
than the next...etc. until you have to find more areas to work on.
Of course you could just ignore me