Really sexist Jokes

Just as a reference point, these were emailed to me from my friends "MOM"!!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be open when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course.. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake..
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

reply to post by mrmonsoon


Those are good ones. I like this one the best. " Why do men die before their wives?
They want to. "

I knew that was why but now you have confirmed it for me. lol

I love....love love love love love love love!!!

"How many men does it take to open a beer?"

Oh, that one is classic.

Please, may we have some more?

Absolute hilarity....post more, the laugh is well worth it and necessary...

see and i came here looking for Sexy jokes

anywho

why do married man live longer then single men?

they don't it just seems longer

Fantastic.

Surely there are more?

How many divorced Men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who knows; they never get the house.

Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.

Yesterday scientists in Canada revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why.

how many men does it need to change the bathroom tissues?


nobody knows - it never happened before!

Please don't hate me for this, it's a horrible joke, but it fits here.


What do you say to a woman with two black eye's???













Nothing, you've already told her twice.

What is the first thing a woman does after getting home from the battered wives shelter??????



The dishes if she knows whats good for her!!!!