20 ways you're going to die according to ATS and the forums in 172 words

I thought this up a couple of minutes ago and it may not be funny. I try my best

Methods of death according to ATS:

1. Aliens
2. Giant Radioactive Jumping Spiders
3. Giant Bears
4. Microscopic nanobots
5. Chemtrails
6. Implosion of the Universe
7. Black Holes
8. Giant Asteroids
9. MANBEARPIG
10. Matrix
11. NSA
12. Nuclear Fallout
13. Antichrist
14. Global warming
15. 2012
16. NWO
17. Cosmic destruction
18. Tear in the fabric of time
19. death by alternate reality..see the movie "The Mist"
20. Natural Causes

The NWO are behind everything. Aliens control the NWO. The universe is going to implode. We are going to implode the universe. Were actually just in the Matrix so don’t worry. Here are photos of a recent MANBEARPIG sighting outside the White House. Obama is the Antichrist. No wait Bill Gates and around 100 other people are. The CIA obviously has the operational capability to control the populous and fight every war in the world at the same time. Russia and Iran will invade us. Russia will use giant bears and Iran will use giant radioactive jumping spiders. 2012 will be the end of the world. Everything said in the Zeitgeist & Matrix movies are true in some strange way. Mother Earth is going to kill us all. America is a horrible country with a horrible government even though you have the liberty to bitch and complain about how difficult your life is and how terribly your freedom is. Chemtrails are going to kill us. And to sum it all up…were #ed.

Hmmm, I'll add some hypotheticals.
Chinese Biowarfare cylanders in the 'do not open' televisions in every home.
Poisons dumped in the water shacks.
Explosives in volcanos, faultlines, bridges, dams.
Chemtrails, did you say chemtrails?
C-4 slipped into ungaurded skyrise's pillars at building.
Remote controlled airliners, from chip installs at service.
hmm how am I doing so far?
Genetically poisioned cows.
Vitamin deficiency.
Nukes in the hands of backyard insurgents.
Space Q 48...
The FOL insurgents kidnapping humans to hypnotize as soilders for their war against Corporate.
Electric soul grabbers who live in the sun.
Long range gray aliens for their 'super highway' (the suns in the way-not the earth, don't be misled for war; they are ok with the inconvience-IMHO)
The devil..
Soviets. (oh gawd)
The FBI, CIA, DEA, CPS, ect.
Black op chopters gonna get chah.
The Jews.
Chupacabra (um...)

hah hah. hah hah. hah hah.
ie, yi, yih....

aw, you noobs!
You forgot the linkz. I mean, how long have you been on ats...
By the way, does getting 'runover by a car' count as 'natural causes'?


On a slightly more 'serious note' though, you forgot:
- Starvation initiated by the elite
- Bio'weapons' invented to clear 90+% of all humans
- Reptiliens that see us as food
- Our alien creatorchild, that has to clean up after his scienceproject

EDIT to add:
- The return of Planet X / Nibiru
(I don't believe I forgot that one :bnghd::bnghd::bnghd:

[edit on 7-12-2008 by Aldolas]

In BTS....one word....

SALLY

DATS patrons know exactly who she/it is.

Rush

reply to post by hsur2112


Exactly....

Sally is lethal.

I'm just curious;

If one attempted to read all the threads in ATS, could one die from the stress and paranoia of reading and learning too much?

If one suffered from a split personality could a conflict ensue that would create a clash mentally between them on what threads they wanted to read first, which perhaps ends up with one personality murdering the other, or would that be a suicide?