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"you're stupid" metaphors

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posted on Mar, 25 2004 @ 01:11 AM
drunks recent thread gave me a great idea. i just love these kinda metaphors:

you're not the sharpest tool in the shed

the engines running, but there's nobody behind the wheel

but my favorite is: some of the cheese slid off your cracker

posted on Mar, 25 2004 @ 01:19 AM
An old one here

You're not the crispiest chip in the bag.

Personally I just say "someone's an idiot"

posted on Mar, 25 2004 @ 01:22 AM
You're 1 can short of a sixpack

posted on Mar, 27 2004 @ 11:32 AM
your elevator doesnt go to the top floor

posted on Mar, 27 2004 @ 11:37 AM
another one: Are you familiar with the term, dumber than a bag of hammers?

posted on Mar, 30 2004 @ 10:06 AM
Not the brightest Crayon in the box.

posted on Mar, 30 2004 @ 10:13 AM
The wheel is spinning, but the hamsters already dead.

Sideline: A phrase that really annoyes me is 'I could care less' when what people really mean is 'I could NOT care less'. (Mild rant for the morning.)

posted on Mar, 30 2004 @ 10:21 AM
The lights are on but nobody's home.............

Your as sharp as a sperm hitting the vagina wall.

Your as comforting as a rock in my shoe.

[Edited on 30-3-2004 by TrueLies]

posted on Mar, 30 2004 @ 10:31 AM
How about this one:

Youre the sharpest marble in the bag.

posted on Mar, 30 2004 @ 11:11 AM
one brick short of a load !

posted on Mar, 30 2004 @ 02:56 PM
Your 3 fries short of a happy-meal

posted on Mar, 30 2004 @ 02:58 PM
Don't eat any wooden nickels!

Wait! That's not right. :shk:

posted on Mar, 30 2004 @ 03:00 PM
Its time to up your medication!

posted on Mar, 30 2004 @ 03:19 PM
You're not the sharpest peanut in the #.

posted on Mar, 31 2004 @ 12:17 AM
He's four cards short of a straight...

posted on Apr, 1 2004 @ 04:07 PM

Originally posted by joehayner
You're not the sharpest peanut in the #.

That was so funny! Good one...... lol!

posted on Apr, 23 2004 @ 08:31 AM
Bright as a terd in a horse's butt.

Quick as a dead turtle.

It goes in one ear and just bounces around.

posted on Apr, 23 2004 @ 09:59 AM
I found some metaphors made by stupid people, quite amusing.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

Every minute without you feels like 60 seconds.

And my favourite...

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

posted on Apr, 27 2004 @ 03:51 PM
what about
a couple of tacos short of a fiesta.
and a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic.

posted on Apr, 27 2004 @ 10:44 PM
I'm sure you've all heard of Weird "Al" Yankovich. In his new CD Poodle Hat, his song Genius in France has all kinds of these... like: I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel, I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball, and my personal favorite:The room temperature's higher than my IQ.

Here's the rest of the lyrics:
Genius In France

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